Friday, 17 May 2013

Support Group for Parents of Teenagers - SPOTS

Support Group for Parents of Teenagers - SPOTS
17 May 2013

I would like to propose that we start a support group for parents of teenagers.  I think it might prove to be an unparalleled success.

We could arrange to meet a few times a week, as and when our teenagers allow us to.  Naturally, these meetings would have to occur under the cloak of darkness, ensuring we don’t bruise fragile ego’s by merely attending.  We’d wear bland, boring clothes so that we don’t stand out.  Not too modern.  In fact not modern at all.  But not old fashioned either, so as to appear fuddy-duddy-ish, and embarrass our sensitive teens.  Sort of vanilla/beige styled clothing, ensuring we blend – with the environment, each other and our neutral personalities.  No garish jewellery will be permitted.  No wild make-up.  We’ll speak in hushed voices and really listen to each other.

Not bloody likely!

If there was such a thing as a support group for parents of teenagers, attendees will rather look and behave like this:

  • Voices hoarse from repeating things over and over
  • A slightly defeatist look in the eye
  • A jaded approach to all things teenager related
  • A general air of accepted failure as a parent and a person
  • Low self-esteem and feelings of self-worth due to being ignored in general
  • Faces filled with surprise if someone at the group actually listens to them and acknowledges them speaking
  • Disbelief that no one at that exact moment is asking for a lift, branded clothing, money, food or permission to go to a party

Parenting a teenager is not for sissies.  They’re hard work.  They believe they know everything.  They are enveloped in an air of self-entitlement.  Parents and the world in general owes them.  Furthermore they are convinced that life is unfair and everyone is against them.  They are terribly hard done by.

Not that us parents really care.  We take it in our stride.  It is part of the job.  Which doesn’t mean that their indifference and lack of gratitude doesn’t hurt.  Because it does.  Their self-absorption is incredible.

Still, a support group might just be the way to go.  We could call ourselves – SPOTS (sort of a play on words and their skin condition as teenagers – gotta love it!) – Support Parents Of Teenagers System.  We would meet regularly in order to discuss our problems and troubles with ZITS (sort of a play on words and their skin condition as teenagers – gotta love it!) – Zealous Ingrate Teenage Simpletons.  And at our meetings, we could discuss PIMPLES (sort of a play on words and their…. you get it, right!) – Parents Implementing Measures for Parenting Lame Egotistical Spawn.  In the hope that we can induce ACNE (blah-blah-blah) – Accelerated Condition of New Expectations.

In fact, it think it might be an unqualified and unmitigated success.  And could potentially lead to them being UNBLEMISHED (sort of…..blah-blah-blah) – Ultimate New Behaviour Leading to Eager Minds Inquiring Satisfaction Helping Educate Dissidents.

Our first meeting is on Wednesday.  I’ll just have to check with my teenager if he’ll allow me to go.
Parents helping one another - the only way forward
It is a global pandemic and we could branch out internationally

Parents working hand in hand


  1. I will be the 1st to join. I hate the self-righteous folks who live in denial and think their critters are angels and feel all superior if they get lucky with a nerdy teen. They not invited!

  2. Oh boy!!
    I brought up three of my own,
    I taught hundreds of them.
    Now I have another in the house!
    I am sooooo blessed and would love to join your group!