Wednesday, 1 May 2013

Spam Alert

Spam Alert
30 April 2013

Spam.  Add-ons.  Pop-ups.  Current bane of my life.

Gone are the days, when I thought that Spam was just the dreadful tinned meat that the Top Gear guys simply always seemed to eat on their amazing road trip adventures.

But sadly now I know better.  I have been inundated of late with Spam.  Oh don't worry.  Not on your computer.  Not part of the blog either.  Just a pop-up that comes up on my PC at home when I log onto either my blog or Facebook.  And it's driving me batty.

I have spent many an unfruitful hour, searching the web and indeed downloading spam detectors and anti-malware programmes.  Nothing seems to work.

Or perhaps that is not very truthful.  There certainly do seem to be programmes out there, that promise they will deliver a clean spam-free computer.  But rather debilitating is the huge chunk of cash I have to part with in order to acquire their superior spam-detecting skills and technical proficiency.  Furthermore, what guarantee have I got that they are not spam either?  Because I have already made that mistake too.  Downloading anti malware detectors, only to find that in turn, they are infecting me with malware themselves!

And so I have googled and googled and googled some more.  I have fiddled with settings, and cookies and disabling add-ons.  Still no joy.

The particularly nasty little bug that is cluttering my screen is one called, "ads not by this site".  And what junk they are cluttering my screen with.  Apart from the fact that it blocks a lot of my vision and leaves me unable to clearly see all that I wish to see, the crap it seems to be advertising!!!  How to lose stomach fat - not possible.  Airfare tickets to France - can't afford to go.  That bloody supposed Kate chick that keeps on calling me on a fake Skype-look-alike pop-up.  Ugly shoes from Zando.  Hyundai.  FNB – and we all know how I feel about Steve.  Sienna coffee from Checkers, etc.

All stuff, I would never click on per se.  Things that simply don't interest me at all.

And so, as a last resort, until I find myself able to rid myself of this terrible spam presence in my life, I wish to bestow these spam creators with a gift.  Well, perhaps it is not so much of a gift at all.  It is actually an ancient Lombard curse.

May their next bowel movement be pineapple shaped.  And painfully prickly too. 

And on that bombshell.....
The original spam - of Top Gear fame

And though the first spam picture showed bad-spam, the above picture shows even worse spam

Yummy - NOT!!!

1 comment:

  1. Daddy would have loved the curse!
    It comes in waves, doesn't it!