From the birds and the bees, to family trees.: I really wish I could meet "they"

Wednesday 1 May 2013

I really wish I could meet "they"

I really wish I could meet "they"
1 May 2013

I really wish I could meet “they”. And yes, I do mean “they” and not “them”.

Though, at times, I do admit to being rather sceptical as to “they’s” existence. Are “they” even real? How qualified are “they”? Who made “they” the experts on everything? What are “they’s” credentials? If “they” are so wise, I would like to know where “they” studied, so that I can send my kids there too. How come “they” reserve the right to change “they’re” minds all of the time? Do “they” use Wikipedia or encyclopaedia’s to get “they’re” knowledge? Or are “they” just naturally wise?

I am also rather convinced, that I am not the only person, who quite often questions the wisdom of “they’s” findings. Because I actually find them rather fickle. And wishy-washy too. First “they” say butter is bad. Then “they” say butter is good. Then, just when you’re getting used to it all, “they” change their minds and say that butter is bad once more. Hellooo!!! If only “they” would make up their minds!!! For a bunch of so-called learned individuals, I find them seriously lacking in long term conviction and staying power too. “They” are forever changing “they’re” minds.

Yet, despite their apparent whimsical and rather fluid interpretation of what is good and bad in our world, their fluctuating declarations, their backpedalling ways, their constant contradictions, their forays into areas where “they” clearly have no idea of what “they” are talking about, their autocratic and dictatorial predictions, their promises of dire consequences (scarcely followed through on), their poor track record, their lack of credentials, their flagrant abuse of the media, their abuse of power, their….. etc. I actually think that “they” know jack! As in bugger-all. As in practically zilch. Zippo. Nada. Bupkiss.

And unless you can tell me exactly who “they” are, when you quote something that “they” have said, well then quite frankly my dear, “I don’t give a damn!”. I just don’t.

Do you want to know why? Because I believe that “they” lie.

Don’t want to believe me? Well, just look at their track record. “They” said, Aids would wipe out most of our population. And though the death toll, is shocking, we are still here to tell the tale. And search for a cure evermore. “They” said, the world would end on the 21^st of December 2012. Bet they feel like right idiots, round about now. “They” said, an apple a day keeps the doctor away. Really? Really??? And while we’re dealing with edibles, “They” said, that carrots help with your eyesight. Seriously? Really??? “They” said, we’d all by driving flying cars by now and taking a single daily tablet for nourishment instead of eating food. Wonder how that’s working out for them? “They” said, we couldn’t host a successful Fifa Soccer World Cup. He-he-he!!! “They” said we would never have a black president. Right, so we’re on our third already. Fourth if you count a brief interim spell with Kgalema Motlanthe. “They” said same-sex marriages would never be allowed. Pfft! “They” said cross-racial marriages would never be allowed either. Double pfffffttt!!!

Yip, “they” said lots.

So dear “they”, I beg you, nay I urge you, to please reveal yourself. So that you may be properly revered. Or not.

Furthermore, I do firmly believe that the only completely accurate statement, made by “they”, was when “they” said,

“43% of all statistics are made up on the spot”.

So it’s decided then that the mysterious “they”, actually don’t know much at all.

Or at least, I think that that is what “they” say. But don’t take my word for it. Chances are that “they” will contradict my statement and disagree.

Told you “they” were fickle!