Thursday, 2 May 2013

Advice for my young daughter

Advice for my young daughter
2 May 2013

Life is hard and laden with pitfalls for the unworldly, the innocent and the naïve.

And perhaps I can ease my daughter's path if I give her a few tips for along the way.  You know just random things that could prove useful to her and make her life easier.  Some nuggets of wisdom applicable to childhood.  Some to being a teen.  Some even to being an adult.  And others?  Well some are simply good to know.
  •  He won't respect you in the morning, even if he says he will, unless he's really worthy of your love and he loves you right back.
  • Make really sure you want those highlights and that you can afford the maintenance to keep them looking good.
  • Chances are that this is as good as you are ever going to look, so appreciate it now.
  • Once you've given away the gift of your virginity, it can never be taken back, so make super sure about who you give it to.  Ensure he is worthy and will treat you kindly, with respect and with love.
  • You will regret perming your hair one day.
  • Chances are, you'll regret cutting that fringe shortly after you cut it, and then start the long process of growing it out again.
  • Learn to say "no" and go against the grain.
  • Don't be afraid to put your stamp on life.  Leave a mark on this world.
  • Choose your friends wisely, you are judged by them.
  • Eat healthily most of the time, but indulge yourself too.
  • Don't simply follow the masses blindly.
  • Speak kindly, you might have to eat your own words.
  • An eye for an eye is a crappy policy to have.  It leads to two blind people.  If someone hurts you, don’t be horrible back.  Be kind.  It will confuse the hell out of them and probably make them really nervous.
  • Enjoy your children when they're little - they grow up far too fast.
  • Savour the little things that bring you joy.
  • Peer pressure is hard to resist, but sometimes you must do just that.
  • Sometimes people might use you.  Step away from them.  Don’t allow them to do that to you.
  • Pick your battles.
  • Don't rush through life - take your time and soak up all the goodness along the way.
  • Listen to older people.  Speak to them and hear their stories.  They are so very wise and have lots to share.
  • You will indeed not die if you don't have the latest cell phone/fashion/gadget/can't go to that cool party.  You are far more resilient than you think.
  • Waiting for something you really want, makes the end reward so much better and you will appreciate it that much more.
  • Sometimes you simply have to go with the flow.
  • Don't be a passenger in a car if the driver is drunk - their luck will run out and so will yours.  You can simply phone me.  Or someone else you feel safe with.
  • Don't drive if you are drunk - your luck will run out and so will those of your passengers.  You can simply phone me.  Or someone else you feel safe with.
  • Drugs have the potential to ruin your life.  Don't go down that road.
  • Make good friends - they are the family you get to choose.
  • People will only treat you badly, if you let them. 
  • You choose your own happiness.  You create it yourself.  Don't rely on someone else to make you happy.
  • Surround yourself with people who feed you emotionally, and don’t drain you.  People who are positive and not negative.  Negativity has the potential to suck the very life right out of you.
  • Have compassion and empathy for others.
  • Smile lots - it will naturally lift your spirits and ensure you get the gift of smiles in return.
  • Try and save money - have a rainy day fund.
  • Travel a bit - explore the world before you get bogged down by life.
  • Follow your dreams.
  • Be unselfish.
  • Dream big - your life can be anything.
  • Think outside the box.
  • Always have a warm sweater packed in.
  • If you find a good, comfy pair of jeans, that fit really well, buy more than one pair of them.  The same goes for shoes.
  • Go the extra mile - it is really worthwhile.
  • Give of yourself.
  • Be brave and love deeply.
  • Trim your hair regularly.
  • Remove your make-up before you go to bed.
  • Don't hurt those you love.
  • Have the strength, the honour and the dignity to apologise with sincerity, to those that you have hurt.
  • Think of others and treat them the way you wish to be treated.
  • Your kids will be your greatest joy and greatest accomplishment in life.  Your legacy for the future.  Enjoy them and don’t wish them big.
  • Read - it broadens your horizons and makes your world bigger.
  • Endeavour to understand those that are different to you - don't judge them.
  • Be good to yourself.
  • Forgive yourself.
  • Stand up for yourself.
  • Stand up for those who cannot stand up for themselves.
  • Don't dress trashy - it looks cheap.
  • You only have one reputation - don't throw it away.
  • Concentrate and be thankful and grateful for that which you have, instead of focusing on that which you do not have.
  • Always give your best in all that you do.
  • Have long leisurely baths – they’re good for the soul.
  • Listen to good music.
  • Enjoy nature – go for walks.
  • Despite what you think now, shaving your legs is not fun.  Enjoy this shave-less time in your life, before you really have to start.
  • Don’t use people – they won’t like you for it.
  • Think carefully before you indulge in piercings and tattoos.  You might end up regretting them.
  • When you fall pregnant, people will start giving you advice on how to raise your children.  All you should do in a case like that is to smile politely, say thank you very much, and follow your heart and your gut.  You are the Mom.  You know best.
  • Don't concern yourself too much with being popular.  I know it is nice to be liked and to be in the "cool" group.  But most often, the "cool" kids are the nasty kids.  It is far more important to be true to yourself and to be a nice person.
  • Breathe deeply.
  • Make eye contact with people when you talk to them.
  • Being silly is good for you.  Laugh deeply and lots. 
  • Spoil yourself with quiet time – just for you.
  • Make friends with yourself.
  • Be truthful.
  • Learn to be truthful without being hurtful.
  • Some mistakes are really worth making twice.
  • If you stumble, pick yourself up and carry on.
  • The glass is always half full.
  • Be friendly.
  • Love yourself.

I wish for you just the best little Berry!  May life treat you kindly.








  1. Beautiful Helene! What lucky Gals you are to have each other!! And about tatoo's - make sure , like me, you really love the tatoo you choose, and like me, make sure you over 40 before you get one!!

  2. Love it - goeie raad vir almal

  3. Such a great one and all so true. Xx