Worst Father's Day Gifts - A Tacky Trove of Truly Terrible Tasteless Treasures
15 June 2013
Father's Day is looming. And alongside with the pressure to present the lovely father of my children with a perfect day, is the pressure to present him with a perfect present.
Nah, just kidding. We don't place all that much emphasis on a gift. The kids and I do strive to give him an extra good day though. We make him his favourite breakfast with extra special treats. And while I normally do most of the cooking in the home, on Father's Day, the kids get roped in too. Not that they mind. In fact the opposite is true. They take extra care with setting the table beautifully, with flowers handpicked from the garden. Normally freshly squeezed orange juice, by their own hands too.
But as a family, we don't faff too much about Mother's and Father's Day presents at all. The focus is rather placed on spending time together. As a whole. On treating the parent on the day. On making them feel special and cherished. On celebrating their presence and their contribution to our family.
But though we don't really focus on gifts, with the odd exception, the most special thing of all, are the handmade cards the kids make every year. At fifteen, Luke's cards are very vanilla. Not much emotion involved, except for the, "You are the best Dad in the whole world" bit. It is expected after all. At fifteen, he might be slightly emotionally stunted (it's a teenage thing), still he knows the rules and he does his bit. But Amber and Cole's cards are usually gushing with love. Quite often, they make them at school, or alternatively, they retire to the dining room table, armed with ample paper and a cavernous suitcase filled with pencils, khoki’s, etc. These cards are all liberally decorated with hearts and heartfelt messages too. And in his usual fashion, Cole always ends his card off with his signature end phrase, "Lots of love from the one and only Cole". As if there could be another. He uses this same signature end phrase for birthday cards, letters, etc. You could even say it's his thing.
And then, just the other day, I had a marvellous spot of good fortune. I found a detailed list of, "Worst Father's Day Presents". It was such a treat! Most of the gifts truly horrendous. And in turn this made me search a bit more on the net, for further equally awful Father's Day gifts too. And the wealth of awful material out there, was just so vast. Who thinks up this stuff?
And so, I have compiled my own little “Tacky Trove of Truly Terrible Tasteless Treasures"! May I present to you, the following:
Apart from the "awesome" selection of awful Father's Day Gifts, there is also an "awesome" collection of awful Father's Day Cards
The good old faithful tie - and compared to some of the other less than stellar gift ideas out there, it's not actually all that bad
Now this is not really such a bad idea - it certainly has some merit. A kids play mat on Dad's shirt, which doubles as a back-scratch and massage - multifunctional
Bwa-ha-ha! Now this is nasty. One way of ensuring a six pack without having to do all those endless stomach crunches and sit-ups.
This gives new meaning to the term, "hip-flask" - excellent for beer drinkers
A variation on the old tie theme
Right, we've all used this one - cheapskates!
Who says men can't multi-task? Why if you give Dad one of these, he can mow the lawn at the same time! I love the optimistic addition of a lamp, for night time cycling/mowing.
Clever! Cologne smelling like a braai - truly inspired. This particular flavour is Pork BBQ.
Aaahhh! How sweet..... If a tad impractical!
I love, love, LOVE this idea! I think I'll turn my Grantie into a blonde too.
For those golfing dads out there - multi-tasking again.
Now this one is particularly thoughtful. A portable breathalyzer, attached to Dad's key ring. Clearly safety first!
Yay! Another winner idea for bald Dads!
Now this is clever! I think this is a very bright thing to take along for Dads to tedious prize givings, visits to Mother-In-Laws as well as viewings of Grey's Anatomy.
I’m sure you’ll agree that most of these gifts are truly terrible. Actually pretty much unpalatable. But at least they’re good for a laugh.
However, all jokes aside, my kids have been blessed with a fabulous father. A champion amongst some chops. Because some dads are just not great at all. But my kids, struck gold. They know that they are loved and cherished. And so, ironically on Father’s Day, they are the ones being given a gift. Not the other way around.
Thank you my Grantie, for being such an awesome dad. We are so lucky to have you in our lives. xxx
Click and Like on Facebook - Thanx!
Missing my much beloved Dad on Father's Day - he was a goodie too and I was so blessed to be able to call him Dad.
And a huge big Happy Father's Day to my much loved and adored Daya too.
And just for the record - my Father-In-Law is a darling too. How lucky am I!
Cole's card for his Daddy - front cover
Cole's policy is clearly - flattery gets you everywhere. Even to the point of complimenting his father on his thin stomach.....