Thursday, 20 June 2013

The link between soccer/football and acting

The link between soccer/football and acting
20 June 2013

It is peculiar how on occasion, two seemingly opposite disciplines, actually end up complimenting each other.  They sort of run parallel to one another.  And though their skill set might appear conflicting or not related at all, they have a symbiotic relationship towards each other.  In this same manner, musical ability and mathematics are linked.  It is a well-documented fact.  Apparently Mozart himself, was a mathematical genius.

I have often noticed how soccer and footballing skills, are linked to acting.  No seriously!  It’s true.

Few people are better equipped to give Oscar-winning-worthy performances of fake injuries than soccer players.  In fact, they’ve turned it into an art form of sorts.  And it wouldn’t surprise me in the least to hear that in preparation for movies like, “Saving Private Ryan”, “James Bond”, the “Die-Hard” franchise, the “Lethal Weapon” series, etc., actors like Tom Hanks, Bruce Willis, Mel Gibson, Daniel Craig, etc. became understudies of soccer players and job shadowed them for a period of time.  All done with the hope of learning from the true masters, the not-so-subtle skills involved in faking non-existent injuries.

Perhaps they accompanied them to regular practices for a while?  Maybe even joined them on the pitch and gave it a go themselves.  It would make for an ideal opportunity for the soccer players, to point out exactly how to better dramatize and exaggerate the appearance of unbearable pain.  Possibly, they also undergo a few voice coaching sessions, in order to help them to learn how to effectively project their voices and use their vocal chords to their full ability and capacity.  In that way, they are ensured of giving accurate renditions of howls of pain and screeches of torture.  Huge emphasis is placed on marrying the exact pain-filled facial expression with the dramatic clutching of shins.  These must all be synchronised to perfection, lest the game be given away.  And a part of the trick, is being able to maintain the illusion of being gripped by agonising paroxysms of apparent torment.  All this done, whilst surreptitiously peeking to see if your performance is garnering the necessary attention.  Most notably that of the referee.  Writhing around is super effective, and might elevate matters to a yellow card and a free corner.  However if you’re able to squeeze out a bit of vomit for extra effect, alongside with claims of concussion and broken bones, it shows true commitment to your trade.  And for your effort you might be rewarded with a penalty shoot, and a red card at the very least.

Can you just imagine what a brilliant soccer player Jason Statham must be?  Why he is able to vividly mimic near-death and sometimes even death itself.  Super believable, I tell you.  Clearly soccer’s loss, was the acting fraternity’s gain.  As well as the gain of his adoring public.

In the same vein does that mean that great soccer stars (I mean actors) have decided to make football their calling, at a loss to the acting world?  Not that he’s given to many displays of fake injuries, but perhaps the deciding factor that pushed David Beckham into soccer and not acting, was the high pitched tone of his voice.  It does have a rather piercing, shrill quality to it.  Which might have led to him being typecast in certain roles only.  Not giving way to the full spectrum of his abilities.  And so perhaps in his case, acting’s loss, was a huge gain to football.  One we’re ever so grateful for.

Perhaps many of the football greats, see soccer only as a short term career.  And have their eye on the long game.  Taking up acting after they’ve reached their shelf life as a footballer.  And so, perhaps, they merely indulge in faking-non-existent-injuries, to keep their acting skills from rusting.  Furthermore, it also allows for the opportunity for movie producers, directors, casting agents and the like, to witness their dual talents, while indulging in watching a soccer game.  Rather impressive multi-tasking if you think about it.

Which makes me think – wonder when Becks will make his movie debut?  Nah, all things considered he doesn’t really indulge in the faking-non-existent-injuries thing at all.  So perhaps, we should merely sit on the side lines and wait for Neymar’s soccer career to wind down. 

He might end up being the next James Bond…..

And to illustrate my theory, I present you with two youtube clips, which will substantiate my claims.  In fact I beg you to disagree.  See for yourself.


Ever so dramatic! There must have been acting talent scouts in the crowd.....

Yes, please do answer this question.


Yay! Success! It paid off - yellow card. Yeah-baby. Suck on that!

Every so often even Becks has indulged

Dude, if you can withstand the pain of multiple tattoos, then I'm sure you'll survive a little shin bump. Seriously!  Let's keep it real.

Ain't that the truth!

Now this is pretty impressive, I'm sure you'll agree. Giving true meaning to the term - "team effort". I would hope that they at least got a penalty shoot in honour of their dedication.







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