tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-40986042924423927072024-03-19T00:20:35.837+02:00From the birds and the bees, to family trees.From the birds and the bees to family treeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14300555924899491187noreply@blogger.comBlogger598125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098604292442392707.post-57418976089955740552024-03-18T17:49:00.002+02:002024-03-18T17:49:39.939+02:00My ridiculously cute cat. And the other cat.<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKLSwmpb_hbPhyphenhyphenR-IuXX6q102m-7yDjBGrAIO83rw7sfSSefRxaMoozBDCwWq77ttAoX_tMHYCeuIvuC5n0-9hYVrIjgXvdKs2CogXFiSq7UOhQgKohwFsXPdZp2SYCKIr9t46979XMEqhr5RRuDAwS0uy2CCKZJn_yXekOmXYIrmXTnKOhjzg4fKFhzo/s640/Piggie%204.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="640" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKLSwmpb_hbPhyphenhyphenR-IuXX6q102m-7yDjBGrAIO83rw7sfSSefRxaMoozBDCwWq77ttAoX_tMHYCeuIvuC5n0-9hYVrIjgXvdKs2CogXFiSq7UOhQgKohwFsXPdZp2SYCKIr9t46979XMEqhr5RRuDAwS0uy2CCKZJn_yXekOmXYIrmXTnKOhjzg4fKFhzo/s320/Piggie%204.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><u>My ridiculously cute cat. And the other cat.</u></div><p></p><p>18 March 2024</p><p><br /></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">I have theeeeee most scrumptiously
cute little Kittycat. And then I also have another one…<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">It all started when The One and
Only Cole was twelve years old and in Gr 6. He absolutely loves animals and we
decided to get him a cat for his birthday. Great excitement all around!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">We’re very fond of rescue animals
and simply always try to give a needy animal a home. As such, all of our pets
have been rescued. Barring the goldfish we had years and years ago. Not that
many rescue goldfish out there. Though I suppose they are in desperate need of
rescuing when they’re in a pet shop. So there’s that.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">We’ve had a long line of rescue dogs
and we’ve completely loved all of them. Such special pets. Maybe it’s
because they know subconsciously that their days are potentially numbered? Thus,
they really know how to amp up the lovable factor. Big time.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">So when we decided to take the
plunge and get a cat (something I had been begging for, for years), we went our
regular route by going to the Animal Welfare. How can one not?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Grant and I set off one morning
and much to our delight they had a litter of kittens. Most of them were already
spoken for, but there were three little females in need of a home. We decided
that the final choice should be Cole’s. We paid the adoption fee and as Cole’s
birthday was on a Saturday, we would come up to the Animal Welfare in the
morning and leave the final decision to Cole. On the morning of his birthday,
Grant first entertained us by choosing an appropriate soundtrack for the
opening of the presents. He loves doing this and to be fair, he didn’t
disappoint. Tom Jones’, “What’s new pussycat” was his choice. To much
snickering from Amber and I. Grant looking pleased as punch with his witty
choice of song.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Cole unwrapped a whole bunch of
cat paraphernalia – food bowls, a basket, toys, cat food and the like. And we
happily informed him that we were getting him a cat for his birthday and that
we were going to jump into the car immediately to go and fetch her from Animal
Welfare. While driving through, we told him that he would be the one who got to
choose which kitty he’d like. And we also told him that it was definitely going
to be a little girl. I advised him to start pondering so long on names. An
activity and exercise I thought he would really enjoy. It’s a true mark of pet
ownership when you get to name a pet. A great honour indeed.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">My intention had been for him to
take his time. To give it some thought. To think long and hard. It was a
lifelong commitment to the pet after all. But I should have known better. There’s
a reason my youngest son is known as The One and Only Cole. Cause he is rather
unique, has a wonderful sense of humour and is refreshingly quirky and
different. The words, “you can choose a name for her”, were still echoing in my
ear. My mouth still pouting over the word, “her”. When he piped up from the
backseat, “I’m going to call her Mary Johnson”.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Floored. As per usual. A regular occurrence
in Cole’s presence. But I suppose I shouldn’t have been. By this stage I had
had twelve years of experiencing The One and Only Cole. Decisions are made on
the spur of the moment. Off the cuff. Without hesitation. I immediately urged him to maybe take a
little bit longer to think of a name. There was no rush. Because let’s keep it
real. When it comes to cats, it’s not really as though they even respond to
names, right? It’s more just a way for the owners to address them. Felines don’t
bow down to mere mortals like petty humans and deign them with responding to an
undignified uttering of their name. Perish the thought!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Yet Cole would not be swayed. He
was determined. His cat was going to be called Mary Johnson. Decision made. No
wavering at all. Hardly surprising I suppose, that it didn’t take me very long to declare that our beloved Mary
Johnson was a southern gal. Of course she is with that name. By the end of the
day, I simply couldn’t utter her name without giving it a real Southern
American twang. With that upward tilt to the name, just as I imagined it would
sound. Somehow it just fit. Nearly eight years later, and I still do
it. Some of my family no longer give it the twang when they utter the name, but
I’m a stickler for proper pronunciation. In addition, in the intervening eight
years, we’ve never resorted to abbreviating her name and calling her MJ. She is
always addressed by her full name, with the correct amount of respect that such
a name demands.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">By now, the cat bug had really
bitten. And just six months later, My Grantie surprised me with my very own
little black kitten. The cutest most adorable little ball of fluff to have ever
graced this earth. I fell head over heels in love. And am completely and
utterly besotted, to this day. Unlike The One and Only Cole, I decided to give more
thought than he did when it came to choosing a name. She needed a name that
would suit her. That would attempt to depict her cuteness. And would make my
heart even more mushy when I used it or even when I merely just thought about
it. And so I called her Piglet. So perhaps, I’m not that different to my son
after all? I clearly also have a flair for the ridiculous. Within very short
order, her name led to loads of variations of it. And we’re mostly fond of
Piggie, when we don’t call her Piglet.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">She sleeps with us on our bed
every night and we have lovely walks in our garden (she definitely has a keen
interest in gardening and is most supportive and encouraging of my efforts). We
also have lengthy conversations, in which she absolutely takes part. She’s fond
of a lengthy miaau, clearly bemoaning her fate on the odd instance when she’s
been done a grave injustice. I have given to offering her sage advice on these
occasions. And it’s pretty much always something along the lines of, “You’re a
strong independent woman. And we don’t take any nonsense from boy kitty cats.”.
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This declaration satisfies her greatly
and then we go into a long discussion on how she should stand up for herself.
Not that she has any issues in that department. But a girl does like to feel
heard and justified in her feelings. Hey, I’m her biggest fan and
supporter. As well as her devoted slave.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Now here’s the thing. Mary
Johnson (picture twang) was a delightfully social little cat. Fond of lots of
attention as well as generous with her affections. Indeed loveable.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Until Piglet came along. She has
been in a snit for nearly eight years and shows no sign of easing up on her
anger. Gotta give her kudu's for holding onto that grudge. She shuns affection, often growling when you try to pet her. Grumpy in
the very extreme. She spends very little time at home. Mostly being spiteful by
being exceedingly friendly to all of our neighbours and their children. Even
random strangers who stop outside the pan handle in which we live, are
generously showered with attention from her and people often remark at what a friendly
cat she is. Truly baffling and oh so dramatic! She trots up to them, tail aloft,
rubs between their legs and acts all cute.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">But we know the real truth. She’s
an excellent actress. And all of this is just a show, in order for us to be
aware of what we’re missing out on. And don’t think that we can give her
affection when she’s showing off to others. That simply won’t do.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">She’s currently just using us for
food. And to show off her teeth and claws. And thinks we’re lucky to be even
deserving of that much from her.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">So there you have it. We’ve got
two cats. Ridiculously, adorably, unbearably cute Piglet. And the other one.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbwrfFqE-IdeeyoYKsYJp6V4OWy-il1DFBlhKiDSI6DksSxoMjbcFOfk3W3zSQhmjaNvSDXiRddAXfpzf76YbMuvL6BEl_kIbxVj85ppMh5CVLJ9XLcEQrIOnZsX7chsbjMWBpOLDg5Ts4R9JhBby-6qt2ufLNxeKO_smLATFOjSoooLkOoAzZ9PiX8VE/s960/Piggie%203.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="720" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbwrfFqE-IdeeyoYKsYJp6V4OWy-il1DFBlhKiDSI6DksSxoMjbcFOfk3W3zSQhmjaNvSDXiRddAXfpzf76YbMuvL6BEl_kIbxVj85ppMh5CVLJ9XLcEQrIOnZsX7chsbjMWBpOLDg5Ts4R9JhBby-6qt2ufLNxeKO_smLATFOjSoooLkOoAzZ9PiX8VE/s320/Piggie%203.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Every year I put up Piggie's favourite activity playpark for her - our Xmas tree</div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZEmFAF7ZndWgUf9TFrukW7eP6wmsZGxJahe4mpDjacDM75HauGms0eVeYrksl-0p7VcjKs6DkEvcKLexBBwD22dZ_tjkGjFshMZrb7VKnTvJEj6ddYXUpeFAv5iH4zvPUsuj_OlGDvsMUdtNs3z8EE8XRs445Pwn2ATpybscm1k6mcwE3a9oECRslTO4/s3648/Piggie%202.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2736" data-original-width="3648" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZEmFAF7ZndWgUf9TFrukW7eP6wmsZGxJahe4mpDjacDM75HauGms0eVeYrksl-0p7VcjKs6DkEvcKLexBBwD22dZ_tjkGjFshMZrb7VKnTvJEj6ddYXUpeFAv5iH4zvPUsuj_OlGDvsMUdtNs3z8EE8XRs445Pwn2ATpybscm1k6mcwE3a9oECRslTO4/s320/Piggie%202.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I mean seriously! Just look how cute she is!</div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEPWlBKFIbHK1PczIxoCsAXX1Dv9NNRsk0CtyDVqDA-VmI_Fk6gKFVvxMujuvMD3SKAOeJ_rN9mrMsWTYHkvKINnluJfJo7DuAcUQF4eE4T0VNgMs3346BKU0KvHg4-Qgsxy1OVWCYhIzNUkCy6GSrBMfApGvOYicRt4Qmy3lTrCQAPyM8Li01ZG9uFI0/s4000/Piggie%201.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4000" data-original-width="3000" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEPWlBKFIbHK1PczIxoCsAXX1Dv9NNRsk0CtyDVqDA-VmI_Fk6gKFVvxMujuvMD3SKAOeJ_rN9mrMsWTYHkvKINnluJfJo7DuAcUQF4eE4T0VNgMs3346BKU0KvHg4-Qgsxy1OVWCYhIzNUkCy6GSrBMfApGvOYicRt4Qmy3lTrCQAPyM8Li01ZG9uFI0/s320/Piggie%201.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I love spoiling her with catnip. She gets absolutely stoned on it. Acting like a real goof.</div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCa53dZ6J2x82fcgrmHif4-jP_CEHkY47Gv3PV92NoW7v_prkI7eyFnAv7EG01g7ixBEVAd0O0Ju5eMq28nfPoslVZ2Jlmjrl9AMbJAQPxQl9aN6_FyoIu1oHK0U2tmVVPi6hsHxXPleuSxxymNxC_QekBcxxQICBUmEcRikV_AYQJIex7hi_n1mjDrGY/s4000/Mary%20Johnson.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3000" data-original-width="4000" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCa53dZ6J2x82fcgrmHif4-jP_CEHkY47Gv3PV92NoW7v_prkI7eyFnAv7EG01g7ixBEVAd0O0Ju5eMq28nfPoslVZ2Jlmjrl9AMbJAQPxQl9aN6_FyoIu1oHK0U2tmVVPi6hsHxXPleuSxxymNxC_QekBcxxQICBUmEcRikV_AYQJIex7hi_n1mjDrGY/s320/Mary%20Johnson.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Despite being a Southern gal, Mary Johnson is not very ladylike at all. A rare pic of her deeming our bed worthy of her presence. If we don't make too much noise, we're allowed to look, but not touch,</div><br /><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p><br /></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p><br /><p></p>From the birds and the bees to family treeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14300555924899491187noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098604292442392707.post-69758697696433410122024-03-16T19:37:00.001+02:002024-03-16T19:37:33.945+02:00Attention-seeking-sneezing<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBbgabVndtG9MGJmVJnj9466CjRT3DCFZEPBDKLQ0phrMYW4Y1pRL1_htDXz-iNzTiDS4WP_LiszQOqZgSRtkO8yrciMhxCr71u48d4J4_pXpI8EtvbjWQ3vtRe5SCyhmKQYVrpiLxfYHs322kQxd2a8bnCeI64uwmFaAf1g9HOIC01fFVQPLm82axbMM/s640/Sneezing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="407" data-original-width="640" height="204" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBbgabVndtG9MGJmVJnj9466CjRT3DCFZEPBDKLQ0phrMYW4Y1pRL1_htDXz-iNzTiDS4WP_LiszQOqZgSRtkO8yrciMhxCr71u48d4J4_pXpI8EtvbjWQ3vtRe5SCyhmKQYVrpiLxfYHs322kQxd2a8bnCeI64uwmFaAf1g9HOIC01fFVQPLm82axbMM/s320/Sneezing.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p><u>Attention-seeking-sneezing</u></p><p>16 March 2024</p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sneezing is one of life’s
greatest free pleasures. Personally, I love sneezing. Random fact. Sure you’re
delighted to know this about me…<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">But I can imagine that if you’re
a sinus sufferer, then perhaps sneezing is not all that much fun. I suppose for
them it’s accompanied by itching in the nose, a post nasal drip, a constant upper
respiratory irritation, congestion and the like. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Now My Grantie is a sinus
sufferer and takes antihistamines every single day. And has for pretty much
most of his life He also knows what his triggers are. So he avoids dairy
products and the like, but still he gets it. It would obviously be worse
without the meds, so grateful for any minimizing of his symptoms.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">However, when it comes to
sneezing, my man is a frigging pro. He doesn’t do a gentle dainty sneeze. One of
those fun ones that I love so much. Nope, he goes all out. Picture ear piercing
volume, which kind of sounds like an extremely loud shout. Imagine an overly
dramatic animated version of sneezing, like you’d see in a kids cartoon.
Multiply by one hundred. And you might get close to what I’m dealing with. They’re
simply always unexpected with no advance warning at all. In addition, he has a
fondness for multiples. Nothing as conventional as a one and done. No sirree,
bob. That would be boring. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Personally, I’ve got a theory. He
lies in wait. His timing is impeccable. He prefers silence. It assists him with
the element of surprise. He has a personal preference for confined spaces. Like
the car. Where there is absolutely no escape at all. Now our car is never
quiet, cause we’re always listening to music. Yet I still never expect it. Another
fondness of his is late at night in bed. But he’s not all that discriminate. Any
random opportunity will suffice.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">And because of the unexpected
element linked to him sneezing, as well as the deafening volume, I’ve resorted
to calling it his “attention-seeking-sneezing”. Sooooo excessive and
flamboyant. He’s got a dramatic flair for it. And he indulges in it often. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Maybe he’d actually like me to
have a heart attack? Or perhaps he simply loves the way it makes me jump and
flinch. Who can tell? What I do know however, is that it’s a passion he indulges
in extremely frequently. With great obvious enjoyment.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Now my sister, Foefie (her name
is actually Katrine), has heard him sneezing often. So she’s also been on the
receiving end of one of these little surprises. And the first time I called it
his attention-seeking-sneezing, she laughed. She could so identify.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Cause here’s the thing. Foefie’s
husband, Robin (whom she fondly calls her Sock), does exactly the same. In fact,
he’s upped the ante.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">She recalls that one night in
bed, he surprised her in the death of night with an extreme session of
attention-seeking-sneezing. So much so, that she actually counted.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Twenty seven times. Yip! Twenty
seven. Now that’s taking this underappreciated skill to the very next level.
She did however confirm, that nobody really feels like a bit of tonsil hockey
after one of these. Not all that endearing and enticing in making one indulge
in the late night romantic arts at all.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">So here’s where I’m at. The “Loubser”
brother-in-laws are truly gifted. For now, Katrine and I are avoiding telling
the two of them about each other’s skills. Sure, they’ve heard each other
sneezing before in the past. But nothing too hectic. My fear is this. Once they
know that each of them now have an impressive sneezing reputation to uphold,
they might take it to the next level. And neither of us think we’re strong enough
for that. Perish the thought. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Just picture it.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Competitive-attention-seeking-sneezing.
And absolutely frightening thought.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Gesundheit! Say it! Don't spray it!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOWEsVsve55-NXiY4QDAiceZTypXL8vn-2pmZsqNqzUlakQ4G6WOn2Fh50iavmKUrO-7mHnpxvYF9T1Et8xGx_VM285mTFbLis32HC-KR4A0DeOOy6e4aohtxhUWOhCJQ2c-q9x19PWQNrvIRiWKUsJejgNHS54BuQAndlXcrkF3r1pkeciQnsRqlwWRU/s1100/Sneeze.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="734" data-original-width="1100" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOWEsVsve55-NXiY4QDAiceZTypXL8vn-2pmZsqNqzUlakQ4G6WOn2Fh50iavmKUrO-7mHnpxvYF9T1Et8xGx_VM285mTFbLis32HC-KR4A0DeOOy6e4aohtxhUWOhCJQ2c-q9x19PWQNrvIRiWKUsJejgNHS54BuQAndlXcrkF3r1pkeciQnsRqlwWRU/s320/Sneeze.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p><br /><p></p>From the birds and the bees to family treeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14300555924899491187noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098604292442392707.post-13100078583350376072024-03-15T20:41:00.001+02:002024-03-15T20:41:41.779+02:00Occasionally, I'm mistaken for an adult because of my age<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaQDsHP38nr9VOddtfy_oDakPqNJRLJ6XRrOJ9T90b0sD5rlM7bqriOQ76EoiaFoHFajKdFRdlBy3bIe0oEMnn4zJhpRrj2GrLfKgudDFRVmDU5-tYAsgeZpiBuqbFPW9Z99_Lh5G7Y2dbFCx5OVGvV-GpQmv54ZI_3F3xQIbEz9-F2cL0m4w732i69WA/s1290/Adult.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="837" data-original-width="1290" height="208" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaQDsHP38nr9VOddtfy_oDakPqNJRLJ6XRrOJ9T90b0sD5rlM7bqriOQ76EoiaFoHFajKdFRdlBy3bIe0oEMnn4zJhpRrj2GrLfKgudDFRVmDU5-tYAsgeZpiBuqbFPW9Z99_Lh5G7Y2dbFCx5OVGvV-GpQmv54ZI_3F3xQIbEz9-F2cL0m4w732i69WA/s320/Adult.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p><u>Occasionally I'm mistaken for an adult because of my age</u></p><p>15 March 2024</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Occasionally I’m mistaken for an
adult because of my age. Though it’s perhaps it’s the sprigs of grey in my hair.
Or maybe it’s my size? Regardless of the cause, it’s alarming.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Cause I don’t feel very adult-ish
at all. Surely there’s a higher degree of adult than where I’m at? It can’t
merely be judged on height, right? When do I unlock that level? It quite simply
doesn’t feel responsible and very astute to call me an adult. Who decided to
burden me with this label? To bestow it upon me? Have they even met me? This
seems like a very grave mistake. An unfathomably lapse in judgement.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Now my age might indicate that I
could certainly qualify for this title. Yet I feel remarkably and alarmingly unqualified.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">I speak to my Mom multiple times
a day. Cause I genuinely like her, never mind love her. She’s definitely an
adult. She’s clever and wise. And extremely entertaining. So there’s also that.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Actually, now that I come to
think of it, she’s not a stereotypical adult either. Not in the slightest at all!
Perhaps there’s a pattern here? <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Adults have their lives together.
They have savings and investments. Rainy day funds. They plan for their retirement.
Take annual holidays. They do meal planning and cook healthy meals. They wear big people’s clothes (pretty sure most adults
where shoes every single day – madness!). They remember passwords. They watch things like the news on
TV. They know what’s happening in politics. Their paperwork is in order.
Licences never expire. They have a basic understanding of Geography (I fail
dismally at that). They submit things long in advance (whatever things might
be). They remember where important documents are kept. They know emphatically
what causes tides in the ocean (I have a vague impression of it having
something to do with the moon and gravitational pull, etc). They can convert from
inches to feet, to meters in their head. They remember different time zones. They
know about taxes and elections. Converting Fahrenheit to Celsius. Basically,
they have a handle on doing grown-up stuff.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Quite scary how far off the mark
I am. But, I wing it, I improvise, and I get by. Though I am just fluffing it
and making it up along the way.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Hey, it works for me. Wondering
at what stage my kids will figure it out? That I don’t have any more of a handle on
adulthood than them. And they look to me to help guide them. Wonder when they’ll
figure out the truth about me?<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">If I had to stop and think about
it, it would scare me spitless. Which is why I don’t think about it.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">It’s one of the wonderful side
benefits of avoiding adulthood for as long as possible. In fact, I can highly
recommend it. Avoidance is key. Shun the whole concept. Banish it from your
thoughts. Abstention at all times. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Elusion is such bliss. And makes
for great sleeping at night.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">PS: Please don’t tell my kids
that I don’t really know what I’m doing. TIA. <span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Emoji",sans-serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Aptos; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol-ext; mso-hansi-font-family: Aptos; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: "Segoe UI Emoji";">😊</span><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p>
<span style="font-family: "Aptos",sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-ZA; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Aptos; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-ligatures: standardcontextual;">PPS:
If I was a real adult, I’d definitely be better at filling out forms. Why are
they sometimes so difficult?</span></p><p><span style="font-family: "Aptos",sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-ZA; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Aptos; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-ligatures: standardcontextual;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: "Aptos",sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-ZA; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Aptos; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-ligatures: standardcontextual;">PPS: Wonder what my tax number is? Or where to even find it.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: "Aptos",sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-ZA; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Aptos; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-ligatures: standardcontextual;"><br /></span></p>From the birds and the bees to family treeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14300555924899491187noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098604292442392707.post-18453548762721358952024-03-14T18:19:00.001+02:002024-03-14T18:19:27.552+02:00You get two kinds of guitars - electric and ?<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlQA4wRgDcK5SnzAN9qur1ocWab79yMY4vhj9xOGv9zFXmA0yzehlv5lOuoTNnBq494HjVzsICW4sONEyw5awpIGVtFcCt48obP2IwBabEbytHlIc39hyphenhyphens6Bfv-Jqs75iFHJ2MZfPefYN93bFWTfvDI5StevJUuOQNU7TcNJToweRTNsgPSWg1gd3ol84/s800/Guitars.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="533" data-original-width="800" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlQA4wRgDcK5SnzAN9qur1ocWab79yMY4vhj9xOGv9zFXmA0yzehlv5lOuoTNnBq494HjVzsICW4sONEyw5awpIGVtFcCt48obP2IwBabEbytHlIc39hyphenhyphens6Bfv-Jqs75iFHJ2MZfPefYN93bFWTfvDI5StevJUuOQNU7TcNJToweRTNsgPSWg1gd3ol84/s320/Guitars.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><u>You get two kinds of guitars - electric and ?</u></div><p>14 March 2024</p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">I absolutely adore kids. And not
just my own. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">There is just something so
completely and utterly magical about little people, that I cannot help but be
drawn to them and love them. In addition, I’m not selective of their ages.
Babies, toddlers, small kids, bigger kids, and even those grumpy and
attitude-filled teenagers. I simply always find a way to connect with them,
draw them in and have a conversation with them. I think it’s about gaging where
they’re at in their growing-up journey, tapping into that and embracing what’s
currently happening to them. I can chat to even the most off-the-wall
hyperactive kid, shy little dreamers, as well as sully teenagers. They would of
course never admit it, but they actually like to be heard and to feel as though
their opinion counts. It’s easy to draw them out. Especially if you use their
lingo (but not overly so, nothing more cringe than an adult trying to say sick
things, like sick), appear to be indifferent and don’t make too much eye
contact. That’s with the teenagers of course. Little kids want your full on
attention focused on them.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">But without a doubt, one of the
greatest gifts of children (spanning the whole variety of ages), is their take
on life. The way they see and perceive the world around them. Their
interpretation of so much that we take for granted is disarmingly refreshing.
As adults we can become so jaded and often words, sayings and experiences lose
their impact. We become numb to it. It’s just part of life. Been there, done
that, seen so much. In addition, as adults we don’t questions as many things as
we probably should. We just accept. Like why does your nose run, when it can’t
do so at all. Its doesn’t have feet. And speaking of feet, how come we have fingertips
but not toe tips?<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Now with little people,
everything is a marvel. And the world is a giant place filled with endless
opportunities and experiences. Just waiting to be discovered. Just imagine how
incredibly exciting that must be? Just close your eyes and ears and imagine discovering something for the first time. It must be incredible!<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">A major upside of little kids and
their perception of the world, is the apt way they have of describing things or
summarising something that’s happened. Extremely refreshing and usually very
funny too. Truly unique.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">My brother used to live in Joburg
for many years, yet he always travelled as a musician. And when he came to the
Cape, he used to stay with us. We loved it. He never wanted one of the kids’
rooms. Instead he always opted for the couch as he was a night owl and would
enjoy falling asleep with the TV on. So he was always at the centre of our family life.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Albert recalls visiting one time,
when Amber was about six or seven years old. A touring musician is invariably
packing a lot of instruments at any given time. And any visit from Al was no
exception. This time, Amber showed particular interest in his numerous guitar cases
and asked him to show her what was inside them. He dutifully started off with some
of his electric guitars. She appropriately oohed and aahed. Full of knowledge
of what they would be used for. After all, she’d seen him performing countless times.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">And then he opened up and revealed
an acoustic guitar. And she bubbled with excitement, eager to show off her knowledge.
“Ooooohhh! I know that one. You use it to make Afrikaans music.”<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Albert was floored and no doubt tickled
pink, bursting out with laughter. Funny enough he only told me the story last week
and I guffawed too. Such an entertaining description of what acoustic guitars
are exclusively used for.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">I rest my case. Kids are highly
entertaining. In addition, I do understand where she was coming from. Her
logic was rather appropriate. Though the Afrikaans music genre has grown in
leaps and bounds, there is still a large portion of it, which is performed with
a, shall we say, “softer” hand.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p>
</p><p><br /></p>From the birds and the bees to family treeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14300555924899491187noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098604292442392707.post-38564009398306873132024-03-12T16:40:00.003+02:002024-03-12T16:40:35.524+02:00Really, really missing my Dad today<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoVLjBrGUzuXXVJoI6QwGzIhKnc4YNgCAmOQri7o_lJ9A1mAmHZxHcuXVu9PLQqueSlktzFMO5v6PCSHsKvn3sgVlgcMs05zhQPUsk1XbGMp3W0YIPWmPHSxqaTYbF2p_VKFscEf3u_t6ap-9IHBwlejLQeN5v9_23P9nsrsA7RCMDApzsJPqEPL94jEo/s315/Frankie%203.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="315" data-original-width="315" height="315" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoVLjBrGUzuXXVJoI6QwGzIhKnc4YNgCAmOQri7o_lJ9A1mAmHZxHcuXVu9PLQqueSlktzFMO5v6PCSHsKvn3sgVlgcMs05zhQPUsk1XbGMp3W0YIPWmPHSxqaTYbF2p_VKFscEf3u_t6ap-9IHBwlejLQeN5v9_23P9nsrsA7RCMDApzsJPqEPL94jEo/s1600/Frankie%203.jpg" width="315" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p><u>Really, really missing my Dad today</u></p><p>12 March 2024</p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">I’m really, really missing my Dad
today. I think about him all the time, and that’s a given. But today I ache.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Not quite sure what brought it on.
It’s not like it’s a birthday or a special occasion, it just is. But perhaps
there have been some hints along the way.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Yesterday an old band member from
the very beginning days of the Blues Broers, posted a pic on Facebook. My Dad
is actually pretty much completely out of the pic, as he wasn’t the focus. But
even before spotting John’s tag, I just knew it was him. Wearing his beloved
suspenders, playing the drums ( swear I even recognize him from the way he’s
poised with the drumsticks in his hands) and the hint of dark hair. In addition
there was the Smokehouse Blues sign up against the wall and we had so many
awesome jols there. The whole pic simply made my heart squeeze.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Then there’s the fact that My Grantie
is away for two nights. Now, I’m a strong independent woman. Don’t think I’m
particularly needy and a bit of alone time (with three kids in the house) is
always good for the soul. But I do so love My Grantie and spending time with
him. So yes, we’ve spoken multiple times since he’s left yesterday, on the
phone and via WhatsApp. Yet he’s not here. So maybe that also played a role.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">But what really tipped me off,
was music. I’ve really been obsessed with Spotify of late. And get great
enjoyment from constantly adding songs. And I was thinking back to some of the
songs that we used to listen to while I was growing up and still living at
home. Our home was never quiet. It always felt as though my life at 29 St James
Street in Somerset West had a constant soundtrack in the background. And so
many of my memories of my childhood are linked to songs.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">So I’ve been diving in, adding
some old songs that I haven’t heard for many, many years. Songs from my parents’
favourite records, which obviously became ours too. And then CD’s, when that was
the thing. I did a search yesterday and added a few just such tunes and loved
it. Made me think of my Dad, as I could picture him humming along, sometimes
singing, dancing and the never ending drumming of his fingers. Either against
his legs, or on a counter or tabletop. Sure it’s an inherent drummer’s thing.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">And then this morning while
driving the boys to work, I randomly remembered David Hewitt’s African Tapestry.
One of the very first CD’s my Dad bought. We all marveled at the crystal clear
clarity when he bought it. CD collecting was just starting to be a thing, so our musical choices
were limited if we wanted to listen to a CD. And right from the very first
listen, we all loved it. Remember when you used to listen to a complete album
from start to finish? Over and over again. No skipping of songs, no other
random artists and genre’s thrown in. Just the pure enjoyment of listening to
one exceptionally talented artist who has honed and crafted his skill.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Was listening while still on the
way to drop the boys off. Felt a bit heartsore, listening to the first two
tracks. But then I got to song number three (https://open.spotify.com/track/5sqthYJA5Cp5r7kHyodxtA?si=TGLxebe3SlOdmynGKv6hdg&utm_source=copy-link). And it was a doozy. Absolutely
floored me. My heart was racing and I was mere seconds away from depositing the
boys at work. But the minute they got out of the car, I amped the volume up as
much as I could, skipped to the beginning of song three and listened to it all over again.
And I frigging bawled like a baby. Such a wash of emotion, that it completely
took me by surprise. Was holding thumbs that every single robot I would
encounter would be green, as I didn’t want to make eye contact with a vendor or
domestic worker handing out contact details, looking for a job. Had it down to
a fine art. Would slow down without stopping, timing the robot change so I would
never have to be stationary. I’m quite gifted actually.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Felt emotional all the way home. And
cried freely, cause it’s healing. Just giving in to the feelings. And then I
saw my Amber-Berry when I got home and that was it. She hugged me so long and
hard. Then dutifully indulged me by listening to the song with me again. She’s
a really good egg.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Going to a special farm when you
are just 46 years old is way too young. Frank D Frost was larger than life.
Flamboyant, colourful, eccentric, talented, a gifted artist, a brilliant
drummer, unconventional, a visionary, extremely funny and delightfully quirky. Maybe
that’s my perspective as a daughter. Yet, I’ve known so many people and just
know that he was magnetic and that people were drawn to him. He just had
something about him that was intriguing.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">So whilst working today I’ve been
listening to a never ending stream of music that reminds me of him. Looking at
his beautiful artworks in my home and admiring them afresh. Saw his green eyes
in the mirror this morning when I brushed my teeth. And I’m thinking what else I
can do to make me feel close and connected to him. Perhaps I need to get myself
some zoo biscuits, his favourite treat. Or maybe the answer is to have a few Gauloises
Plain cigarettes? Though I’m fairly certain that I’d keel over if I tried that.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">So here’s what I’m thinking.
Music soothes the soul. And it’s really good to remember him. He deserves that.
So I’ll continue my Frank Frost inspired musical journey. There is just so much
to tap into, the possibilities are near endless – The Beatles, The Rolling
Stones, The Blues Broers, Ray Charles, The Blues Brothers soundtrack, BB King,
Edith Piaf, The Police, Tears for Fears, Jethro Tull, Eric Clapton, eVoid,
Crowded House, John Lee Hooker and some classical songs as well. Will be hard
to start to scratch the surface, as the musical world is my oyster. As it was
his.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">In addition, I think it’s time to
watch an old home movie again. Will be so wonderful to see him and hear his
voice again.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Miss you Frankie-Baby. You were
something special. Love you long time.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">A-hummuna-hummuna-hah!<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-3NEaviDE99C6TTLX4wGKS6271AJ3pr_spOs81uReLmwENPAD6eawLR3Y990l52yvesbyBysvmYAIOVPiTeg2j-q-iH6mHo9OiX_NGMURW7D-iQe5IpDFOunV8JWfoffRTtkMSeq_aJrrrQOLU0XTrsMWGg-7X1dDCKUjph-F6hrLllX6pza5My7u15M/s1080/Frankie%208.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-3NEaviDE99C6TTLX4wGKS6271AJ3pr_spOs81uReLmwENPAD6eawLR3Y990l52yvesbyBysvmYAIOVPiTeg2j-q-iH6mHo9OiX_NGMURW7D-iQe5IpDFOunV8JWfoffRTtkMSeq_aJrrrQOLU0XTrsMWGg-7X1dDCKUjph-F6hrLllX6pza5My7u15M/s320/Frankie%208.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><o:p>My very beautiful Mom and Dad. Pic taken at Kleinbaai many moon ago.</o:p></p><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjSqMLZuhDEdTg9293gvoTISyUwg2TfVHzA4G4fbumTMMSCRQDErBXltA0CDHY8P8IcaRPCITgEDGLIZZ_T6XzIffqMn92UhYKnmbcliPpbq8FbqHIpN43hdXhAujhHcQu6DDf59H_gHVjoyolPz1_ek5GoQIq54S_UR-4WZvQvyTJOLDeNt0HGuRxqWU/s2704/Frankie%207.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2704" data-original-width="2704" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjSqMLZuhDEdTg9293gvoTISyUwg2TfVHzA4G4fbumTMMSCRQDErBXltA0CDHY8P8IcaRPCITgEDGLIZZ_T6XzIffqMn92UhYKnmbcliPpbq8FbqHIpN43hdXhAujhHcQu6DDf59H_gHVjoyolPz1_ek5GoQIq54S_UR-4WZvQvyTJOLDeNt0HGuRxqWU/s320/Frankie%207.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">Proudly showing off their first grandchild, my Luke</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEooFPaRwXRGztjVYT8LS1uqz4DOknSF0sPuP7fekxbNJevucHLKfWQJEFbx0YHtxoXi0Ar1wua9CHef6D7xyE_692cmjvvObnPqWfTeuOSU9DW4N3Iu6VIgIJsLjGVDq_j2ifi-M0i7CMQ3ZpvfVYYe82MpFDpuKq0F2iaT2O1kKLmQHHO4_lLAy_CLM/s1848/Frankie%206.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1848" data-original-width="1848" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEooFPaRwXRGztjVYT8LS1uqz4DOknSF0sPuP7fekxbNJevucHLKfWQJEFbx0YHtxoXi0Ar1wua9CHef6D7xyE_692cmjvvObnPqWfTeuOSU9DW4N3Iu6VIgIJsLjGVDq_j2ifi-M0i7CMQ3ZpvfVYYe82MpFDpuKq0F2iaT2O1kKLmQHHO4_lLAy_CLM/s320/Frankie%206.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><o:p>My Dad absolutely adored Luke. So sad that he didn't get to meet his six other grandchildren. He would've been putty in their hands.</o:p></p><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyQSjSv7k9Q5Bv4T8awuSl0ekvdU2o0dwo8CCavy9PdIJ-zWT_5J8G3fzbNQEpSqGxDy7ccTTa5q9zw7FrVNrWOUgCsxKkLjWAaxGtTIRlcMmOiyHg9d8Du1Tb_EsCTRjTVgFtRMJ738RoaONjXC6VWUB6ZKmjdkrr2TCkyFZnxb502rYlgXiyoO7wAXE/s2732/Frankie%205.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1928" data-original-width="2732" height="226" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyQSjSv7k9Q5Bv4T8awuSl0ekvdU2o0dwo8CCavy9PdIJ-zWT_5J8G3fzbNQEpSqGxDy7ccTTa5q9zw7FrVNrWOUgCsxKkLjWAaxGtTIRlcMmOiyHg9d8Du1Tb_EsCTRjTVgFtRMJ738RoaONjXC6VWUB6ZKmjdkrr2TCkyFZnxb502rYlgXiyoO7wAXE/s320/Frankie%205.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><o:p>A rare gem. A pic of me with both of my Dads.</o:p></p><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBCX91aWCm0fmI-RlRw0Z46a4qd6O2wE5YmfS2m_qyf7ShO_eh2YevJB1k-53xYARg_Xby3spRTFd4cKgG3lxGQ0BQL-6hXRG8K5Oq4LhfzQlyir9wLzgSGMP_ZeIYtkJMOax_NrztqKzruJ98cOuxWasQrZaK-h4PBcwu3lKNJQL-evCaOmjZ-eCV2v4/s632/Frankie%204.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="632" data-original-width="632" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBCX91aWCm0fmI-RlRw0Z46a4qd6O2wE5YmfS2m_qyf7ShO_eh2YevJB1k-53xYARg_Xby3spRTFd4cKgG3lxGQ0BQL-6hXRG8K5Oq4LhfzQlyir9wLzgSGMP_ZeIYtkJMOax_NrztqKzruJ98cOuxWasQrZaK-h4PBcwu3lKNJQL-evCaOmjZ-eCV2v4/s320/Frankie%204.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><o:p>Frankie-Baby - the nutter with the drum held aloft</o:p></p><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihihViMPRmMqaxAmHTADOpjXA5mY9v0JeuCFML_UaAIlBcooZCzDp5C072vjBAUG91I5r0qZry13ODwGLciM3zfhxvFUZvULe8D4Da9xmioel9L6AMacnCmDrDnr0qH_lkRHsZBKHzaQQD4ZuFkExMGq5gIn5-8XxSghzaASpNkA83nF8yPtosbvMZago/s604/Frankie%202.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="404" data-original-width="604" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihihViMPRmMqaxAmHTADOpjXA5mY9v0JeuCFML_UaAIlBcooZCzDp5C072vjBAUG91I5r0qZry13ODwGLciM3zfhxvFUZvULe8D4Da9xmioel9L6AMacnCmDrDnr0qH_lkRHsZBKHzaQQD4ZuFkExMGq5gIn5-8XxSghzaASpNkA83nF8yPtosbvMZago/s320/Frankie%202.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">He loved Oppikoppi and having a street named after him was such a highlight and thrill for him</div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1_i0ezbfMs6E1X5Mh8Ti9keaF6JT6tPDWHNZIqPLyBzEpp1kq5Q-GTRjo_0ndTBS79OzHrG02Vx6YxRm_96R_CMnm1tBFXlm2SIN8umb7wqoXcxyN7TkpGqXLb4uA80OYXqVURpbp89z71M5sRiVzh6i2Ms7tjKCHXyQkcDAC054wTYDN61OCcVEKOIQ/s1080/Frankie%201.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1079" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1_i0ezbfMs6E1X5Mh8Ti9keaF6JT6tPDWHNZIqPLyBzEpp1kq5Q-GTRjo_0ndTBS79OzHrG02Vx6YxRm_96R_CMnm1tBFXlm2SIN8umb7wqoXcxyN7TkpGqXLb4uA80OYXqVURpbp89z71M5sRiVzh6i2Ms7tjKCHXyQkcDAC054wTYDN61OCcVEKOIQ/s320/Frankie%201.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><o:p>The pic that started it all. Thanks John Frick for the share. Think you mentioned that someone called Steve Reitz took the photo. Unmistakably my Dad in the back.</o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><o:p><br /></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p><br /><p></p>From the birds and the bees to family treeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14300555924899491187noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098604292442392707.post-83626459288966288512024-03-11T20:42:00.003+02:002024-03-11T20:42:29.766+02:00Gonk Lovin'<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVTonEMjEVk9rsK-GxPKmTyg6gFiz9QRROBmVGy5SR3wrneNp8mSc56hB3sHoxAqvC5WMWpCEzXkY_vn07E80ggUX8YYl4lIPzi2EHcDPZeeto5fMux90eyRbxE4ddCDl3_FlAbHfHT-4aD_j2MEiH14-I2sT8EbfTQS3K0d3g4zFS4FxT6OS5yICKJw8/s2846/Gonks%202.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2671" data-original-width="2846" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVTonEMjEVk9rsK-GxPKmTyg6gFiz9QRROBmVGy5SR3wrneNp8mSc56hB3sHoxAqvC5WMWpCEzXkY_vn07E80ggUX8YYl4lIPzi2EHcDPZeeto5fMux90eyRbxE4ddCDl3_FlAbHfHT-4aD_j2MEiH14-I2sT8EbfTQS3K0d3g4zFS4FxT6OS5yICKJw8/s320/Gonks%202.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><u><br /></u></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><u>Gonk Lovin'</u></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">11 March 2024</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Obsessive compulsive much?<o:p></o:p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">So here’s the deal. When I do
something, I. Am. All. In. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">It is my superpower. But it can
also be my kryptonite. It’s all about perspective. However, I’m a glass half
full kinda gal, so I choose to see it as a positive. Cause why wouldn’t you,
right?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">My life is liberally sprinkled
with many obsessive projects and interests throughout the years. And I’ve loved
every single one. Or I would not be indulging in them in the first place. Makes
sense.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">So, what is my current flavour?
Well, funny you should ask. You did ask, right?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Gonks!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Gonks, I tell you!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Gonks, and I absolutely LOVE
them!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">What, you don’t know what Gonks
are? Can’t blame you. I didn’t know either.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">However what I did know and have
known for many years is that one of my obsessions is, was and will always be
Xmas. The most magical time of the year. I can wax lyrical about Xmas
decorations. It can become a problem, depending on how you look at things. My
Grantie has a lot to say on the topic, especially when it comes to carting all
of my Xmas decoration boxes out of their various hiding spaces at the end of
the year, when I go into Xmas décor mode. As well as at the end of the festive
season, when he is roped in once more to help take the boxes back again. In fact,
all things Xmas makes my beating heart go a flutter with excitement!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Now when it comes to Xmas
decorations, I love the old school type of thing. No bling or glitter. No big
baubles and shiny tinsel either. Nothing wrong with it if that’s your thing. It
just so happens to not be my thing. You do you and all of that. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">And in my quest for old school
decorations, I’ve always been besotted with the little Norwegian decorations.
Kinda chunky gnome type Father Xmas characters with big beards, wooden bobble
noses, round bellies and delightfully cheery hats sporting a bell. I’ve admired
them often in shops and online, but they’re quite pricey. Which is a bummer.
For the longest time, I’ve thought that I could probably try my hand at making
them. And at the end of last year, I finally went for it. I even discovered
what they’re actually called. Gonks. Even the name is cute!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Played around for a while with a
basic “pattern” of sorts. Which basically meant cutting out paper beards and
hat designs. Then tracing that onto scrap material and making a “prototype” (sounds
so fancy). Thought it worked quite well. And from there it was easy. A little
bit of felt, I had ample cotton, knew where to buy some bells and wooden
bobbles as well as the few odds and ends I didn’t have. And I even had a bit of
leftover teddybear stuffing from something I did a few years ago. Used my paper
“molds” so to speak – then it’s trace, cut, sew by hand, stuff and there you
go!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">And thus, a new obsession is
born. And I couldn’t be happier. Look, it’s cheaper than therapy. So there’s
that.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">I can concentrate for long
periods of time and can focus. But I also dislike being idle on the one hand.
Grant and I enjoy watching a series at night, but I can’t only do that. If I don’t
do something else at the same time, I’m prone to resorting to fiddling with my
phone. Alternatively, I do a big challenging puzzle over a period of time or
play multiple rounds of double pack patience. My favourite has always been
crafting. Cause here’s the thing. If I don’t do something with my hands and
still mildly engage my mind, I will quite simply nod off. As in can’t keep my
eyes open. Terribly dreary.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">So, I’ve been making gonks by the
gazillion. First I made a few for myself. Then I thought of gifts for family
and friends, albeit that it would have to be for next Xmas, cause I clearly
missed last Xmas. And then I simply didn’t want to stop. It’s such fun. And I
would clearly run out of family and friends to gift them to, so I’d have to
eventually find an offset point for them. If not, I’ll simply have to resort to
gifting them. To everybody and anybody I can think of. Look, if Xmas is not
really your thing, then that’s not my problem. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">So ideally, I’d like to flog some
towards the end of the year. I’m thinking Xmas markets and the like. Maybe a
few shops that sell that kind of a thing. Or even selling them on my social
media. Who can tell. Maybe nobody else likes them. What makes this wonderful
world of ours so fabulous, is the fact that everyone is unique and has their
own taste as well as personal likes and dislikes. For now, I’m simply loving
the creative process. Finding it extremely rewarding and so fulfilling. Yes, I’m
a thrill a minute. I know. You don’t have to tell me.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">I’m running out of containers to
store them in, so might have to make a plan with that. It’s a lengthy labour intensive
hobby and takes quite a while from start and finish. But I am so thoroughly
enjoying it. Also, thought that I might make a few Gonks with dark green hats.
And then maybe some neutral type grey ones too. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">And there I go again. Mind
spinning with new possibilities. Note to self – get more boxes to store them
in.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Gonks. Completely and utterly
adorable. At least to me!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXCodj62Srbv7kplOK2plNBUNdgAtINh0r4XcvJA2yGuBpO5o2C57KhSmIPefOFECH_YM_WxuH4cOEtAVv5G1KLL3qW9-88CxZgXKZVQATsIlgLIaWX_rWAmn5SP7SAjaxrP47eLm-mxg7ojtsTsMUWdLpzxaCYeAWj4gIF7Uee5CUoxrSN4cqFd00Ls0/s4000/Gonks%205.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4000" data-original-width="1936" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXCodj62Srbv7kplOK2plNBUNdgAtINh0r4XcvJA2yGuBpO5o2C57KhSmIPefOFECH_YM_WxuH4cOEtAVv5G1KLL3qW9-88CxZgXKZVQATsIlgLIaWX_rWAmn5SP7SAjaxrP47eLm-mxg7ojtsTsMUWdLpzxaCYeAWj4gIF7Uee5CUoxrSN4cqFd00Ls0/s320/Gonks%205.jpg" width="155" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgV_uhlxJ1ULrsqyUAKIufq0pW3ujLFaOl8c5d3NsNslNHa_FMgo97VSvHZ_kkdtugmPjvggzgBJSiQg80LbiEAC8uQBqHxzd5vuwuHTrF_V6QdyVDA753Q7uFgbJYzEiS0EBuCVbDAPg1_U1wkwpzUAAydPEmn7lLMo3nSz3LF2w6F-XjBkEJ-n_GXqu0/s4000/Gonks%204.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4000" data-original-width="1936" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgV_uhlxJ1ULrsqyUAKIufq0pW3ujLFaOl8c5d3NsNslNHa_FMgo97VSvHZ_kkdtugmPjvggzgBJSiQg80LbiEAC8uQBqHxzd5vuwuHTrF_V6QdyVDA753Q7uFgbJYzEiS0EBuCVbDAPg1_U1wkwpzUAAydPEmn7lLMo3nSz3LF2w6F-XjBkEJ-n_GXqu0/s320/Gonks%204.jpg" width="155" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKHghLPmP0U3T87neM7CU31_ttzYZUMLxxOSrlxsqSmFxtJnI7BhIyB_qcrBu3haw4KfEa4cnz_oP53U0tRFTBeU5Lb_j6m6gryk4YXR1KDcBGAi5OsOT7IGn3Z1n3GGBASNhgxjLF6gnDBoAfVJvGRlBHK1lqOrkFDRlSFUTYB0ntso1g_1A7i8rlIbE/s4000/Gonks%203.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4000" data-original-width="1936" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKHghLPmP0U3T87neM7CU31_ttzYZUMLxxOSrlxsqSmFxtJnI7BhIyB_qcrBu3haw4KfEa4cnz_oP53U0tRFTBeU5Lb_j6m6gryk4YXR1KDcBGAi5OsOT7IGn3Z1n3GGBASNhgxjLF6gnDBoAfVJvGRlBHK1lqOrkFDRlSFUTYB0ntso1g_1A7i8rlIbE/s320/Gonks%203.jpg" width="155" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZjVDP0GOY9ZC6OwrvwgPNcOkWWA5448lan-Xl1WlHmygAKhoAua5f1313Xa0K-ogCJ0hkuPguNmQnk3Di1-KlmXgJqv7TXknPCu-XwyCL5joZxNYkSfd3XZ_DojcEYnMHGoqM-mMsocOWl5wJ25KX2tD-Kio_3vcpNHNMCaHwi-KNRwi4G7997rBDMgk/s3370/Gonks%201.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2814" data-original-width="3370" height="267" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZjVDP0GOY9ZC6OwrvwgPNcOkWWA5448lan-Xl1WlHmygAKhoAua5f1313Xa0K-ogCJ0hkuPguNmQnk3Di1-KlmXgJqv7TXknPCu-XwyCL5joZxNYkSfd3XZ_DojcEYnMHGoqM-mMsocOWl5wJ25KX2tD-Kio_3vcpNHNMCaHwi-KNRwi4G7997rBDMgk/s320/Gonks%201.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p></div><p><br /></p>From the birds and the bees to family treeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14300555924899491187noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098604292442392707.post-66329434484040345642024-03-10T15:12:00.000+02:002024-03-10T15:12:19.266+02:00Technology - it's got a definite odd element<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0Ub0gCfXbaXylHcim0vHlajIUt-gsfems0snmYFx_qrq-dF_yPQUoh8HUmTs7d0RS7-ZwyN990WWh6wOF9fR3FZlO1NqTh-DEldtxs09jkwQ_iYvMCIeSJDYrpNjVMHgZuFbbElvrIfqy5pHZsvETJCjV4Iq7JrJ6FbKJW03xg7y3BZgMWGaFB3tOuyQ/s1000/Technology.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="578" data-original-width="1000" height="185" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0Ub0gCfXbaXylHcim0vHlajIUt-gsfems0snmYFx_qrq-dF_yPQUoh8HUmTs7d0RS7-ZwyN990WWh6wOF9fR3FZlO1NqTh-DEldtxs09jkwQ_iYvMCIeSJDYrpNjVMHgZuFbbElvrIfqy5pHZsvETJCjV4Iq7JrJ6FbKJW03xg7y3BZgMWGaFB3tOuyQ/s320/Technology.png" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p><u>Technology - it's got a definite odd element</u></p><p>10 March 2024</p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Technology. It’s been life
changing. And it’s added so many wonderful elements and phenomenal benefits to
our lives.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Where to start? Technology is
just such a broad term. But I suppose it encapsulates any electronic device,
designed to make our lives easier. Or at least that’s my take on it. And by easier,
I mean quicker. It helps to speed up the whole instant gratification process
even more. Cause who wants to wait for anything, right?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Personally, I’m a very big fan. To
name but two examples - cell phones and the miracles of the internet. I mean
when you think about it (and you’re not very bright, like me) it’s hard thing
to wrap your head around. How come I can send a single message on our Lombard
family WhatsApp group and get instant replies? And by simply saying messages,
it can encapsulate pics, videos, voice notes and the like. It defies logic. Considering
the size of the Lombard clan, it’s a relatively small group, with only 24
participants. Some of the younger cousins and great-grandchildren have declined
to join. No stamina, the youth of today.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Anyway, I can send a message on
the group, check and see the moment it’s been read by participants across the
world. And within seconds, my cousin Gareth can send a response. All the way
from Sydney. Or my cousin Maria from Edinburgh. Or my cousin Elaine for that
matter, during break time in the staff room at a school in Kuilsrivier. My
cousin Adam from… (you get the point). Seriously, think about it. How crazy is
that? <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">My Dad would so have loved it. It
was something that we could not even imagine back in 1999 when he went to the
special farm. And back then we were already convinced we were living in the future.
I mean, we had cell phones like bricks, that could be used for weight training
by that side. Double benefits right there! Most families had a home desktop computer
and the internet was already a thing. But not at current capabilities. I had
not imagined things could get more advanced back then.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Now it’s all instant cell phone
banking. Ordering groceries, take-aways, clothes and even more technology
online, simply to have it delivered straight to your doorstep. Streaming
anything you can even think about watching on a screen. It’s quicker to cook
food. Everything is faster. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Hell yes! It’s great.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">But it’s also confusing. And
strange on a whole other level.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">I recall getting a new microwave
a few years ago, and vividly remember saying to My Grantie, “I like the new
microwave’s ringtone”. Cause yes, it had a ringtone, when any function you
selected was completed. The same can be said for our washing machine. Which
leads to another confusing example of technology. When our washing machine
(about two washing machines ago – they don’t last very long in our home) broke
a few years ago, My Grantie Googled possible trouble shooting solutions.
Eventually got “a washing machine man” to come and have a look at our washing
machine. And he declared that our washing machine needed a new motherboard.
Seriously? A motherboard? For a washing machine. That’s very odd. It’s not a
computer. Though technically on one level, it is. Most peculiar.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">But technology has also come at a
cost. And a huge one at that. It’s created so many incredible job
opportunities. But it’s also made so many previous professions defunct. Surplus
to necessities. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Imagine telling a school going
kid that they’d need to go to a public library to use a reference book in order
to do research for a school project. So outdated. I’ve mentioned this to my
kids and they just think it’s so archaic. Putting coins in a photo copier in
order to make a paper copy of a reference book. Now you simply take a pic or
scan the image on your phone. Couldn’t be easier. Not to mention quicker. But
you don’t really need that function now, do you? Cause you simply Google. And
it’s right there. At your fingertips. Madness.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Alas, here I am, sitting in my
lounge. Writing a blog on my laptop, with my phone at my side. My Grantie is
watching Feeding Phil via Netflix. I can smell the potatoes I’m roasting in the
air fryer. And just now I might even reheat some of last night’s cooked carrots
to add to today’s roast meal. Just fetched my boys from work, so they’re
chilling out. Luke’s playing Playstation. And Cole’s listening to music on
Spotify. All happening simultaneously. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Which means, not only are we
currently living in the future, but if the past and the previous speed of progression,
innovation and development are to be believed, we ain’t seen nothing yet. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Cannot wait for my first flying
car. I’m thinking red will be a really cool colour. Would've been so handy when my kids were younger. The school run would've been a breeze. Or perhaps they would've gotten to school in my self driving car?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p><br /><p></p>From the birds and the bees to family treeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14300555924899491187noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098604292442392707.post-33689867239723716982024-03-09T15:15:00.004+02:002024-03-09T15:15:51.492+02:00A catch-up with Mildred. My KFC loving alter-ego. <p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuNq9_l1orfVgmP3eXX0VYZOkVcohdld_oTSkeZch3AOvnHnqd2d-EX68316ZH35yXyqfssxR1f12aCBdF9-Fnh9lJRbzmb0Nqyfvumm07WtjkZV9mQnPDHHKFgcCBRkYpVv24KWvTzXMUWIjJ9R2nOEUePA2rJ2QSwCns7xmPuLaugAgIEkm3dXGsgbU/s1400/Colonel%20Sanders.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="990" data-original-width="1400" height="226" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuNq9_l1orfVgmP3eXX0VYZOkVcohdld_oTSkeZch3AOvnHnqd2d-EX68316ZH35yXyqfssxR1f12aCBdF9-Fnh9lJRbzmb0Nqyfvumm07WtjkZV9mQnPDHHKFgcCBRkYpVv24KWvTzXMUWIjJ9R2nOEUePA2rJ2QSwCns7xmPuLaugAgIEkm3dXGsgbU/s320/Colonel%20Sanders.png" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p><u>A catch-up with Mildred. My KFC loving alter-ego.</u></p><p>9 March 2024</p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Hello Dearies! It's me, Aunty
Mildred.<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Emoji",sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe UI Emoji";">👵🏼</span> <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">I've read on the Facebook that it
is always good to introduce yourself to people. My Harold (may he rest in piece) was also a firm
believer in looking someone in the eye, shaking their hand and saying,
"Harold's the name". <br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">I was looking at the KFC on that Interweb (Isn’t it a wonderful thing? All of that clicking. Though it does
takes a bit of time with my darn arthritic fingers.). Anyway, I was hoping to
spoil me and the other crinklies with some chicken over the weekend. But
unfortunately I see that there are no specials. It is okay. Maybe I'll ask them
at the retirement village, "Autumn Years", to see if they can round up
the bus and we can load up a few of the gals and go to that drive-through
thingy and get everyone an ice-cream. One of the blessings of having dentures,
is that ice-cream is so easy to eat. Why, I can take my teeth right out and
suck to my heart's content. Agatha say’s it’s unattractive and very unladylike.
But what does she know? She’s just jealous cause mine are far nicer than hers.
That underbite of hers is most unbecoming.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">I’ve always loved that Colonel
and his secret blend of eleven herbs and spices. Personally, I’ve always
thought that he’s rather soft on the eye. Much like my Harold’s younger
brother, Cecil. But that’s a story for another day. I might even have had a
chance with him, had that mean spirited Winifred (thrilled by how badly she’s
aged) not flashed her skinny legs at him. Or perhaps it was that apple pie that
she so shamelessly insisted on making for “the family”. All the time! Out of
the kindness of her neighbourly heart. Well, I saw right through that, I did! Brazen
hussy! You can’t try and pull a blatantly obvious trick like that without raising
suspicions. Perhaps it was for the better that Harold rather preferred my milk
tart. To be fair, it’s not the only tart of mine that he liked… If you catch my
drift. Oh boy, I bet Agatha will raise her eyebrows again. That biddy better
watch out, she doesn’t have many of them left. And she does a terrible job at
trying to colour them in.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">So back to my beloved Colonel’s
chicken delights. Now I’ve always been a very big fan of his. Why just the
other day, I was speaking Gerald (he moved into Autumn Years a few months ago –
shame, his dear Nellie passed away), and whilst playing Bingo, we spoke
about our favourite foods. And would you believe it? He loves it too. I’m liking
this common ground. And I think it might lead to something in the future. Now,
to be fair, my future is not all that long. So I might try to nudge him a bit
in the right direction. By making some pie? <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Look, it’s not that I don’t miss
my dear Harold (may he rest in piece), but Gerald is a wonderful cravat-wearing-gentleman.
And don’t you just love a snappy dresser? In addition, he’s got a full head of
hair! None of that unattractive comb-over stuff. And he doesn’t smell of moth
balls. Also a huge big advantage. His kids are all grown up and happily settled,
living far away. So they won’t be interfering. Which suits me perfectly!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Anyway, dearies. I have to go.
Agatha has just popped in to let me know that the Bridge game is starting now
at 1pm and I still want to fluff up my hair and change out of my slippers. At
least, that's what I think she said. I didn't feel like her ragging me today,
so I turned my hearing aid off. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Wait, now that I think about it, Gerald will be there too. Perhaps I should just dab something nice behind my ears. Perhaps I can allure him with my perfume? And a smidgen of lipstick won't go amiss either. Why, I might even try to stay between the lines this time. Though I have seen on the Facebook that the young people do so like those big lips. Personally I think they resemble pufferfish. But I'm a modern woman. And more than happy to do my part by trying to stay up to date with what those milleniums (or is it millenials or maniacles?) are doing. So wish me luck. I shall report back soon.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Keep well dearies, <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Your Aunty Mildred <span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Emoji",sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe UI Emoji";">🍗</span><o:p></o:p></p><br /><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8cbiqiPST13PKz3MMphneDbyRngTiIS-deXnhTC9ExpI0MXKOBsnlF6kryckgIYfdWXvNFjI_0s5ebInYXnlaN8CCsq_ROVRQylR_QqY04bJ9FWxPxIVAqVJOITrZzmg8ZS6wRuUD9lWOjWVp9uUUnnJ1T904iN0UAu4iwgSifyChElc29c4dz-c0heQ/s800/KFC%202.webp" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="455" data-original-width="800" height="182" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8cbiqiPST13PKz3MMphneDbyRngTiIS-deXnhTC9ExpI0MXKOBsnlF6kryckgIYfdWXvNFjI_0s5ebInYXnlaN8CCsq_ROVRQylR_QqY04bJ9FWxPxIVAqVJOITrZzmg8ZS6wRuUD9lWOjWVp9uUUnnJ1T904iN0UAu4iwgSifyChElc29c4dz-c0heQ/s320/KFC%202.webp" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikGdLqWX99CcMjHZFmyds8ybj2ZFyyXJd6CqY0hQOpm5U-d4yVGZR_OWDhKV0fRY0dZ9Uyq5ZEUukDLN05YBbDeetCfzD-1q9ow8q6zDAVWWjudYtojXlbZoZarmhWvHeXeOgdZ6uH7Gh7P8NpsEliozGOvcNqANt4vZUcOu5mH-8vyCFvfsjmlHD_62A/s1540/KFC%201.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="1540" height="166" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikGdLqWX99CcMjHZFmyds8ybj2ZFyyXJd6CqY0hQOpm5U-d4yVGZR_OWDhKV0fRY0dZ9Uyq5ZEUukDLN05YBbDeetCfzD-1q9ow8q6zDAVWWjudYtojXlbZoZarmhWvHeXeOgdZ6uH7Gh7P8NpsEliozGOvcNqANt4vZUcOu5mH-8vyCFvfsjmlHD_62A/s320/KFC%201.png" width="320" /></a></div><br />From the birds and the bees to family treeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14300555924899491187noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098604292442392707.post-62113319432203690472024-03-08T15:09:00.000+02:002024-03-08T15:09:38.977+02:00Sharing with my lovely husband<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBkigJUu_weLPmra8fAeGaVuQbv75jVi_nVG2QH0egYIdJl0Qa4U-MdXRt2PTssDGwfS209tClmd8QJ3EyavoAh-NxuCaQ8yfQPkzeqyy6ziQ1FLnDBudV6lYgFX6rTYXdSTukWXlfnrd2qpQu-z-5GqOrAiEAgeL9G1ZruIBWbcyJ2GKt7negQxa4mkM/s1024/Red%20&%20black%20gummy%20sweets.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1024" data-original-width="1024" height="246" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBkigJUu_weLPmra8fAeGaVuQbv75jVi_nVG2QH0egYIdJl0Qa4U-MdXRt2PTssDGwfS209tClmd8QJ3EyavoAh-NxuCaQ8yfQPkzeqyy6ziQ1FLnDBudV6lYgFX6rTYXdSTukWXlfnrd2qpQu-z-5GqOrAiEAgeL9G1ZruIBWbcyJ2GKt7negQxa4mkM/w246-h246/Red%20&%20black%20gummy%20sweets.jpg" width="246" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><u>Sharing with my lovely husband</u></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">8 March 2024</div><br /><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">Aaaaahhh!
Marriage. It’s all about compromise and sharing right?<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">And you
have to choose your battles on what to compromise on. As well as on what to
share.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">Yip, I
don’t mind compromising and watching this weirdly intriguing documentary on
identical twins given different diets and seeing the impacts on their health.
One eating strictly vegan and the other eating “normally” (see what I did
there?). Would I ever choose to watch this on my own. Hell no! That’d be weird
and it doesn’t interest me in the slightest. But he’s kind of keen and it’s an
easy compromise and now that I’m watching it, I’m super intrigued to know how
John is going to adapt to his vegan diet and if Jovan is going to thrive on his
“normal” diet (yet again, see what I did there?). I mean seriously, why would
anyone ever voluntarily give up bacon? And as for Carolyn and Rosalyn…<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">However, I
do not want to watch
“yet-another-WW2-documentary-or-movie-on-the-horrors-of-war”. Strange, but
true. So, bite me! Doesn’t mean I’m not horrified by past atrocities, WW2 in
particular. But it’s grueling, heartbreaking and I know how it ends. Not making
light of it. I just don’t choose to watch it often. Very well aware of what
happened without the help of additional vivid images, videos, audio and
survivor stories. People suffered unparalleled cruelty. I’ve watched lots of
stuff about it in the past. Some of them brilliant, But, I’ve gone there.
Before I graduated in the art of compromising. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">This is
exactly why I don’t even ask him to watch Virgin River or Bridgerton with me. He’d
hate it. Probably as much as I’d hate anything war related. It’s a compromise.
See! Now don’t get me wrong. I know exactly how Virgin River or Bridgerton are
going to end as well. Which is exactly my point and why I choose to watch
those. Girl meets boy. Usually a delightful meet-cute. Evil past lover
resurfaces. A plethora of misunderstandings ensue. The occasional accidental
pregnancy gets thrown in. Picturesque scenery. Male eye candy. Frequent
interfering and meddling parents. Always a fabulously quirky best friend. Song
and dance thrown in liberally. Near catastrophic parting. Followed by joyful
reunion and lots of kissing. The end. Absolutely perfect! Who wouldn’t choose
that?<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">Now
occasionally, My Grantie deems a romantic type chick-flick worthy of indulging
me. But it’s a challenge. Is he being sweet and thoughtful? Yes, very much so.
However, his unsolicited bloody commentary is a real mood breaker and passion
killer. “What an idiot”, “Nobody says stuff like that” (Yes, Baby, they
actually do. Did you not just hear Noah in the Notebook say it? I mean for
goodness sake!), and probably my least favourite – “Stuff like that doesn’t
happen in real life”. Talk about a buzz kill. Definitely not chill AT ALL!<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">So, we
watch stuff that we both like. A lot! And believe you me, there’s loads of
middle ground. Just taking a simple example like watching a commonly enjoyed
series. But compromise is not just about TV. It means occasionally making him
his favourite dish. I can’t even stomach the smell. But I do it, cause I love
him and it makes his heart so incredibly happy. Doesn’t mean I don’t make
something else for me and the rest of the family to eat. Look, I love the guy,
but I ain’t eating that.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">I think the
same can be said for sharing. I’d like to think I’m generous by nature. So will
always give him the best of everything to my ability. And my favourite is when
he doesn’t even know it at all. Just a small kindness. Nope, I really can’t
even think about having any more biltong/chocolate/nuts/juice, etc. It’s all
you, Baby! I enjoy it most when he’s blissfully unaware that I’m doing this.
Just because. Now I’m not into sharing that much when it comes to KFC. Hey, I’m
not a saint. One has to draw the line somewhere. And everyone’s got their
vices. Mine is still the Colonel’s very best blend of eleven herbs and spices.
Mildred, my Kentucky loving alter-ego, is a beast! And that chick’s got an
insatiable appetite when it comes to that particular weakness of hers. She's voracious! Look, I
don’t question it. I just feed her.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">But my
Grantie so generously shares with me too. He lets me sleep on his pillow with
him and share the exact same spot on the bed. Hey, I’m a cuddler. And
absolutely nothing in this world beats spooning. Btw, I like being the big
spoon and hugging. Just so you know. He knows this and he knows it makes my
heart go pitter patter. And you know the old happy-wife-happy-life adage,
right? Does he die of heat and most probably claustrophobia? Yes, he does. But
him getting hot, clearly translates as me being hot. Obviously! So I ain’t
complaining.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">Another
excellent example of sharing is jelly sweets. Lawdie, I love me a gummy sweet.
You can suck on it. You can chew it and gobble it up. Or you can use your front
teeth (obviously keeping your mouth closed) and meticulously chop it in halves
and then quarters and then eights and sixteens and then … And then you can try
to squish all of the bits into one side of your mouth, count the bits with your
tongue inside your mouth and move them to the other side of your mouth. All
without them melting first. I think this is a under-appreciated skill. With
regards to the counting, I might have a secret maths thing going on. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">So when it
comes to gummy sweets, nothing beats a red or black, right? The juiciest and
sweetest flavours. My best! I mean who likes the measly yellows or greens?
Well, oddly My Grantie does. </span>Why would anyone willingly choose yellow
and green sweets? Well, we’ve got a theory. His mom absolutely loves yellow and
green sweets, so he reckons he was deprived as a kid. Any mixed sweets from his
youth, and his mom would swop out yellows and greens with him. Which means,
that he’s got an unquenchable thirst for those colours. And I sooooo don’t. So
I get Grant’s black and reds and he gets my nasty colours. Yippieeeee! This is
just little old me. Winning at life. Yay! Btw, does anyone else find the brown
Smarties boring? I mean they taste the same as the other colours. And I know it’s
just a colourant that they add to make them look pretty. But, brown? Seriously!
It just smacks of having no imagination. And lack of effort. Come on Nestlé! Up
your game already!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Sharing and compromise definitely makes life infinitely
sweeter (<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Emoji",sans-serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Aptos; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol-ext; mso-hansi-font-family: Aptos; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: "Segoe UI Emoji";">😉</span>).
In fact, it makes all of life sweeter. Especially when it comes to red and
black gummy sweets. In addition, it makes me happy. The fact that it makes
others happy too, is a wonderful additional side bonus. Now don’t even get me
started on the magical ripple effect of kindness. Life changing!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiga9GGuzDayd3hL3hWwH2mYjc0opFKNjYWYqEkMEtmrTjWPElSXodpVX6jq6g8ExNWBf5e0DQf85nsaFuER4LGNUc8j2vTLZwGl1WWBTWClfx58YASbQ0PaOxHs0or2OYyGukV4stRM5glDEnhbar4P84vPndU0TGCGeXEJVag1-ZQxM2rRCxnW97YYAw/s250/rowntrees_sweets.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="250" data-original-width="250" height="250" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiga9GGuzDayd3hL3hWwH2mYjc0opFKNjYWYqEkMEtmrTjWPElSXodpVX6jq6g8ExNWBf5e0DQf85nsaFuER4LGNUc8j2vTLZwGl1WWBTWClfx58YASbQ0PaOxHs0or2OYyGukV4stRM5glDEnhbar4P84vPndU0TGCGeXEJVag1-ZQxM2rRCxnW97YYAw/s1600/rowntrees_sweets.jpg" width="250" /></a></div><br /><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p><br /><p></p>From the birds and the bees to family treeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14300555924899491187noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098604292442392707.post-76338990740978835452024-03-07T15:08:00.004+02:002024-03-07T15:13:40.868+02:00The best thing about Spotify is not even the music<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2tIaREH1Ay4N3auG7LG-lITQoetfQ1p_i57RpUnjpA1i31f1XQDxIQb6iJv0zPJmbMKMBbxAJGoBnxWz2k3RsH-02EWNtAFEyQtd4L5NUArORMpIRb9flXbvqlHB7E8EJpSxuHlXQJQRwjfPJqI6mAVRV0TIbIct9LFcSpqkk-LAZxvskZSPQIysCYHU/s4618/Microphone%201.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4618" data-original-width="3464" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2tIaREH1Ay4N3auG7LG-lITQoetfQ1p_i57RpUnjpA1i31f1XQDxIQb6iJv0zPJmbMKMBbxAJGoBnxWz2k3RsH-02EWNtAFEyQtd4L5NUArORMpIRb9flXbvqlHB7E8EJpSxuHlXQJQRwjfPJqI6mAVRV0TIbIct9LFcSpqkk-LAZxvskZSPQIysCYHU/s320/Microphone%201.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p><u>The best thing about Spotify is not even the music</u></p><p>7 March 2024</p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">I’ve<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>been a slow adapter to Spotify. Go figure.
Which is actually quite odd. Cause I am really, really passionate about music.
Our home is never quiet and there is simply always music playing constantly. Not
to mention the never-ending playlist in my head. In addition, any car ride is
filled with music, with a big contest as to who gets to play DJ. Solo trips are
filled with my fave songs, that I sing to very loudly and animatedly. I’ve even
got a bling microphone in the car for this exact purpose and I’m an absolute
pro at dancing while sitting and driving. Robots (or traffic lights for you
weird foreigners) are my best. Don’t give a hoot who watches. In fact, it
merely helps to up my enthusiasm. Like to give the lucky peeps a bit of a show
while I’m at it.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">But I’ve always just gone about
it old school. By putting songs in a folder on my phone. How terribly
neanderthal of me. Or is it Gen X or Gen Z? I know I’m not a Millennial, or a
Baby Boomer. But I’m not actually quite sure which category I fit in? Fine, I
was born in 1973. You figure it out. And please let me know.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">So back to Spotify. Everyone has
been raving about it for years! And I get the whole concept. I thought I understood
the basics as well as the purpose. I mean it’s pure genius. I just didn’t
really get to make a start of it, exploring my way through the plethora of
audio pleasures. Who knows why?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">And then I dove in.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Dear. Heavens. Alive!!! It’s
absolutely bloody brilliant! Can’t believe I wasted all of that pointless time
not embracing it with both arms (jazz hands on occasion), toe tapping
enthusiasm and bling microphone waving around excitedly, much earlier. What a
blithering eejit!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Alas, forgive me. I finally get
it now. And boy, do I!!!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">It’s been pure unadulterated joy
diving into my favourite songs. Super quick and easy, with crisp clear quality.
And I was all in on liking songs and making the odd Playlist. But I was still a
mere novice. Personally remembering a forgotten song or artist, searching for
them and then adding them that way. Every so often, I’d remember a long forgotten
artist or song that I absolutely loved, only to find that they were not on
Spotify at all. Shooketh, I tell you! And then I’d instantly think about why
they choose not to have their songs listed. They’re probably getting paid a
very, very piddly amount. In which case I truly sympathised with them.
Impressed with their dedication to their art and not bowing down to peer
pressure, sticking to their guns and all that. But I am always a little bit
disappointed and bleak that I can’t listen to their music. However, does this
stop me from still listening to Spotify all the time? Hell no! I’m not into
self-punishment after all.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">And then, one fine day, I
discovered that Spotify makes artist and song selections for you, based on your
recent activity. Oh. Sweet. Mother!!! Unbridled excitement, I tell you! Don’t
you just love a good algorithm working it’s manipulative mastery? I mean, I always
knew Spotify could and would do this. But I just didn’t really explore it much.
Nor experience it. Probably because I really like the music I already love so much.
If that makes sense. And not just the old stuff either. I’m constantly adding songs
based on music I hear on My Grantie’s playlists, or one of the kids, randomly
in a shop, on the radio, or even on the TV. So my music selection was not stagnant.
But perhaps it was a bit too consistent and not exploratory enough.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">But now I’m a full on Spotify groupie!
I would say I’m a Spotify slut, but decorum. And so on and so forth. So, Spotify,
Bring. It. On.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">So here’s the surprising thing.
Much as I love Spotify, and believe you me, I really, really do, finding new
music or even old favourite music is not even my best thing.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Want to know what it is?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">It’s the frigging lyrics!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Is my hearing really all that
bad? Now Grant has always accused me of slaughtering song lyrics. Most especially
in the car when we’re driving together and listening to his Playlists. He even
gets quite mean. He’s got a rock-solid embargo and prohibition on microphone wielding
while we’re driving together. So cruel! However, there’s absolutely nothing he
can do about the jazz hands. I simply refuse to give those babies up. Have I
mentioned yet how fun robots are?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">So I sing loudly, emphatically
and super enthusiastically. And I don’t let a little insignificant detail, like
not knowing the song lyrics at all, put me off in the slightest. That would be
boring. So, I simply make them up on the spot. So much more fun! Hey, I’m
actually being creative here! I’ve always thought I’m rather good at this. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Apparently I’m not. Spotify has
highlighted this for me with crystal clear clarity. Neon flashing signs and
all. To be fair, I find it extremely funny and absolutely hilarious how badly I've been getting lyrics wrong. And for how long I've been doing it. It's a skill!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Jeez, probably half of my
favourite songs have been butchered by me over the years. Moreover, you know
what the implication of this is, right? I clearly don’t know the actual meaning
or significance behind so many songs.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">It’s been a cruel awakening. So I’ve
done the next best, most obvious thing. I intentionally and with great deliberation
ignore the song lyrics. Why be normal if you can rather be creative?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">In all seriousness, thanks so
much Daniel Ek and Martin Lorentzon as well as the rest of the gang at Spotify.
You’ve made the world an infinitely more beautiful and colourful place. And I’m
so grateful for your weird computer geek genius.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Now bloody pay the artists more!
I have been humming Michelle Shocked in my head for days, and I can’t find it
anywhere.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dxXaqny4U94WKgm-AQ02mSU1o9jxIEwrCWW-QITD5ITLS5JfUk-fsQ-D5tF8xRU54PICxrXUU7E8pItu5tytQ' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">My Amber-Berry is delightfully indulgent. And only mildly critical of my song lyrics.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dy9t0W9TkF2Kuoa3HOSt0fbi8sDtrw7-wj8yVQpuyA2nuJBc7YDHaSk8CkGMP-iydRA0Z0G0hBITaqNQzo3wA' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Driving back from hockey matches in Stellenbosch a few years ago. Amber dutifully coached all of us on the correct lyrics for this song. Still delight in singing it with the exact words.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQrrXFMU9lwt9ve4KhTf-b9QGzBzg5HX2yMLUPVc9Zqmb6KK2RvS3hE8GcgWc5HFHNTHfNGp7JbgTnN49xpZA8BQaosMvrz4PpNyUYE8nUuOG3-7cEaCV8JjRA7A7SdvwzZyNvq5lA9drUNEm0lMOq-4wFmb9cp4O1TpdsLu7WBloBUm0QpQq63IB77OY/s4000/Microphone%202.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3000" data-original-width="4000" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQrrXFMU9lwt9ve4KhTf-b9QGzBzg5HX2yMLUPVc9Zqmb6KK2RvS3hE8GcgWc5HFHNTHfNGp7JbgTnN49xpZA8BQaosMvrz4PpNyUYE8nUuOG3-7cEaCV8JjRA7A7SdvwzZyNvq5lA9drUNEm0lMOq-4wFmb9cp4O1TpdsLu7WBloBUm0QpQq63IB77OY/s320/Microphone%202.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />From the birds and the bees to family treeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14300555924899491187noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098604292442392707.post-43479637429092822024-03-06T14:43:00.002+02:002024-03-06T14:43:49.011+02:00The gentle and sometimes forgotten art of husband-manipulation, but it's actually about plants<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhI9v2xz1gUl7cTrRkHtR2tUD7MHwQxclggT-36BLJavTX42sQ11HAVaSj-flBSDAcD9hk9NbJRdvg723I0YoHvu7B7Q9Pq6c-YDE-mHtcPQzmidA-MZ808BeOG3mIzyD8l3xQyghCsGTyCftGs1QSs9Oub0QE_OYsWLwIkWCDHfMYuPALqFeSsLm1B2EY/s1600/Garden%201.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhI9v2xz1gUl7cTrRkHtR2tUD7MHwQxclggT-36BLJavTX42sQ11HAVaSj-flBSDAcD9hk9NbJRdvg723I0YoHvu7B7Q9Pq6c-YDE-mHtcPQzmidA-MZ808BeOG3mIzyD8l3xQyghCsGTyCftGs1QSs9Oub0QE_OYsWLwIkWCDHfMYuPALqFeSsLm1B2EY/s320/Garden%201.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><u>The gentle and sometimes forgotten art of husband-manipulation, but it's actually about plants</u></div>6 March 2024<p></p><p><br /></p><p><span style="text-align: justify;">It’s official. I’ve stopped
killing plants. Most of the time. Or should I rather rephrase? I can now fairly
safely say that I’ve stopped killing everything green. Look, I’m not saying
that I don’t kill anything, but my success rate is definitely up. I’m probably
at a solid 80% most of the time. Unless I’m dealing with a plant with a mean
disposition. Yes, you actually get those. Sooooo dramatic!</span></p><p><span style="text-align: justify;"><br /></span></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">So it all started with my eldest
child, Luke. A few years ago, he did the absolute worst and most unthinkable
thing. He moved out. How bloody rude! I vividly remember him being about 4 or 5
years old and promising me that he’d never leave me or move out. Hey, it was
his suggestion. I was obviously thrilled, that in his 5 year old
wisdom he decided this. And it just so happened to coincide with my wishes too.
Win-win, right?</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">We had it all figured out. We’d
buy a house next to ours, with a handy and cutesie little gate separating the
two properties. I’d paint it red, but if he felt strongly about it, I’d
consider green or blue. In fact, we toyed with the idea of a lovely ladder over
the fence between the two properties. That way we could still do regular Friday
evening movie and pizza nights and I’d be on hand to make special breakfasts
over weekends, alternating between pancakes, flap jacks and waffles. I’d even
weigh up my options on increasing my breakfast treat repertoire.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">And then he simply left and moved
to Stellenbosch. Rather rude if you ask me. This was NOT part of our deal. I
thought we had a plan. Or rather an iron clad agreement. Pffffft! 5 year olds!
What are they like? So flaky!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Alas, back to plants. So there I
was, pining away cause Luke moved out. And I desperately needed something happy
to think about, other than him moving out. And leaving me… In addition, I needed
something to keep me busy. Firstly, I eye-level de-boyed his room (ensuring
that his bed and pretty much everything he didn’t take with him when he moved
out was still there, yet some bits were discreetly stuffed in cupboards
bursting at the seams), but I made it more Helene friendly. Soft touches here
and there. Created an office and desk space for myself, moved a few things
around, decluttered, shifted some things, and made a happy place for me. Added
some pics above the desk, my favourite Dr Seus pic, some Van Gogh prints, a few
old colorful bottles, and then I picked a few hardy stubborn leaf-things from
the garden that I hadn’t managed to kill yet. Personally, I was convinced that
the plants that hadn’t snuffed it yet, were doing so to spite me. Or maybe they
were simply testing their endurance and stamina? Either which way, there were a
few die-hards in the garden. Mostly our bamboo/reed, which became invasive
years ago. I think it was trying to claim the house for itself. We’re currently
at a stand-off. But, back to my “office”, it actually started to look quite
homey.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">My super talented cousin, Jacques
is the most incredible leathersmith and I remember seeing the most magnificent
shelf in his home. A simple wooden plank, with leather straps and I asked him
if he could maybe make me some straps. Lucky me, he gave me a set of straps. I
raided the garage for a plank and immediately added my brand new shelf.
Extremely impressed with my decorating skills by this stage. I’m a hoarder and
collector of the very best kind. Or worst kind, depending on your perspective.
Grant’s opinion fluctuates. Back to being an
antiquarian/compiler/amasser/accumulator of things, I dug out a few bits and
bobs and liberally sprinkled my newly decorated haven with my favourite things
– stuff. Yay! Don’t you just love stuff? Such a delightfully broad description
of simply anything. As well as everything.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">However, I was never going to be
spending money on doing this. And I only had so much space to fill, so once my
office was dutifully cluttered, I had to find another space to spice up.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">And then it dawned on me… I had
this particularly ugly corner in our “garden”. Maybe I could do something
there. It was more just a slab of cement, with vibracrete walls around it.
Beeeeaaauuuriful! Our trailer used to stand there, two old discarded cement
bird baths I was going to mosaic one day (had not done anything since I got
them about 15 year prior), random cement block bricks, our three hideous black
bins, some loose planks and other odds and ends as well as a plethora of leaves
from the neighbour’s tree. Like properly ugly. Moreover, we absolutely NEVER
use our front door. So every time we left home or came back, we had to walk
past this eyesore. As did our guests. It had gotten to the point, where I
didn’t even see it anymore. You know how that happens right? Selective
blindness and all that. I simply averted my gaze without even knowing it.
Looking straight through it multiple times a day. Hey, it’s probably a coping
mechanism of sorts.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">So I set my conniving sights on this
spot and did what any good self respecting woman would do in a situation like
this. I plotted and planned. Might even have made a mindmap of sorts. But
basically, I made my long suffering husband, My Grantie, move the trailer. I
vowed to find a different, yet still easily accessible spot for the bins, and I
would incorporate the bird baths and anything else I could find to try to
beautify this blemish on our property. But how to go about this endeavour?
Well, that takes a wee bit of planning. And I love me a good old planning
project.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Timing is everything when it
comes to this. I gave My Grantie a three day lead time. Not that he was aware
of this in the slightest. And I went about setting the stage. Always did have a
penchant for acting… So I earmarked the Saturday for this project, which meant
that besides plotting in advance, I kicked off my master plan on the Wednesday.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Started my campaign on Day One by
looking morose and sad, “Cause I’m missing my boy so much and I need something
to distract me. Can we listen to Norah Jones and Tori Amos again?”. Minimised
wearing eyeliner. Always guaranteed to make me look emaciated and sick (read
deathly unattractive). Sloffed around in unattractive PJ pants and hunched my
shoulders. To be fair, I did still brush my teeth and shower. So I didn’t go
full crazy on him. A girl’s got to have some standards and dental care is
everything.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">By the morning of Day Two, I
suggested needing a project. Also mentioned Norah Jones and Tori Amos again and
threw in some Sinead O’Connor for a bit of variety. You know, spice things up.
By the evening of Day Two, I mentioned maybe trying gardening again. My
statement was met with raised eyebrows and general concern for plant life
everywhere. Pretended to agree with him. You know, not wanting to seem too
eager. Or as if I had already planned everything (evil laugh in my head).
Soundtrack for the evening of Day Two was, “Eric Clapton – Tears in
Heaven”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>By the morning of Day Three, I
suggested doing some necessary clearing out and possibly tackling the ugly
corner, “cause it looks so bad when anybody comes here”. By the evening of Day
Three, with a bit of gentle prodding from my side, mildly suggestive comments
and some “spontaneous” suggestions, I could see that he was no longer looking
as horrified and that he was warming to the idea considerably. Considered
trying the “Celine Dion - My heart will go on” approach, but suspected that
he’d see right through me, cause I’m not a Celine Dion fan at all. Overkill is
a very dangerous thing and a trap one can easily fall into. After all, subtlety
is the name of the long game. Thought if all else fails, I could resort to “REM
– Everybody hurts”, if I needed to pull out the big guns. But I let that stew
for a few hours. Just keeping it in my back pocket for in case.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">By the time we went to bed on Day
Three, it was all his idea to tackle the ugly corner. Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!!! Pure
evil genius! By the way, for any other notes and helpful tips on how to
“manage-your-man”, please feel free to reach out to me. This is indeed a free
service that I offer. At this stage. I’d consider doing a workshop if there’s
enough interest. I’d like parties of 10 max. So might have to split multiple
groups up. Note to self – side hustle business opportunity right here, baby!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">By the morning of Day Four, we
were all up bright and early and Amber and Cole got roped in too. Siestog! It
was all "Daddy’s idea", so I told them that we should just humour him. He was
taking Luke’s departure really hard. Fully playing on their emotions and their
love for their Dad. Yes, I was overcome with a heady sense of power. Can you
really blame me?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">By the end of Day Four, the
trailer had been moved, the bins were no longer an eyesore, the wood scraps
moved and those that could not be repurposed chucked out. The bird baths were
in position and filled with soil that I stole from an unused corner around the
side of the house where nobody could see or even go if they wanted to. I even
unearthed some previous projects that I had refused to get rid of because I
just knew that I would get a use for them some day. And there you were. Old
shutters and window frames up against the walls, any loose pots dotted around,
odd bits and pieces I’d picked up from thrift shops and fallen in love with
sprinkled about liberally, and a random sprig of greenery here and there.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">And then I unleashed my master
plan. I spread the word about attempting to garden. And the plant cuttings, they
came a comin’! My grandparents, my mom, friends, aunts and uncles, kind
neighbours and so the word spread. I was relentless. And slowly, bit by bit, it
started to take shape. Miraculously, stuff grew! Who knew I could do it? I set
the bar low though and went for succulents. Those little suckers are hard to
kill. They’re delightfully stubborn. I also profusely thanked every person who
gifted me with plant cuttings, but warned them that this was indeed an
experiment. Plant genocide could not be guaranteed. Funny thing though, is that
plant people are extremely kind. And super understanding. As well as
wonderfully encouraging.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Perhaps it is the love with which
they gave me the plants, or the well wishes or happy mojo? Look, I don’t
question it. I’m just grateful. Stuff grew. Hesitantly at first, not trusting
me. Can’t really blame them. But as the weeks passed, they started to grow even more.
Cautious at first. Then hopeful. And finally positively thriving. Trusting the
“new leaf” (see what I did there) that I had turned over. And they rejoiced in
their new home!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">I was finally a grown-up. I could
grow plants. I could propagate. I could see progress. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Apart from growing my three
children, it’s been my most successful growing project to date. One that gives
me pleasure and joy on a daily basis. I still build on it daily. And truth be
told, I can highly recommend it. The pure unadulterated pleasure of eating
granadillas from your own garden is unrivalled. Not to mention the tomatoes by
the gazillions (they only thrived for one season, and then sulked and decided
to high tail it out of my garden). And don’t even get me started on
Kappertjies, or rather Nasturtiums. Such happy little flowers.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">So, gardening. Try it! Who knows,
maybe you’re not a plant serial killer either.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Hey, if I can be reformed, anyone
can!<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Please feel free to check out my
cousin, Jacques Lombard’s Website and Facebook page. The man is a creative
genius!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Belt & Band<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><a href="https://www.beltandband.com/">https://www.beltandband.com/</a><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/BeltandBand?mibextid=ZbWKwL">https://www.facebook.com/BeltandBand?mibextid=ZbWKwL</a><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoc59U4vvgf0GDvHnx3vfBBn9su-tU2fVRE7vvjKJN3RVeJ9Oxy-v-LSfsrHEW9-yQ8igT3GC6TCZnIumUlN0O0gaOYxISmmR62Aj8N4pwT8vLqjCpdpXjPZ0V9zFWvfrT1uErMvZgX04bx6X0d50q3-a_GpcHke7ahFo1ztyA8Y_4UhDEilLWnMmtr1k/s1087/Before%201.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1087" data-original-width="825" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoc59U4vvgf0GDvHnx3vfBBn9su-tU2fVRE7vvjKJN3RVeJ9Oxy-v-LSfsrHEW9-yQ8igT3GC6TCZnIumUlN0O0gaOYxISmmR62Aj8N4pwT8vLqjCpdpXjPZ0V9zFWvfrT1uErMvZgX04bx6X0d50q3-a_GpcHke7ahFo1ztyA8Y_4UhDEilLWnMmtr1k/s320/Before%201.jpg" width="243" /></a></div><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><o:p> Before pic for evidence. Trailer, gross bins and lots of scrap removed already by this stage. I had even swept!</o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuIKj4rxutYetESi8sq9oI0-4YkRpkEBZ2oWvY8RpfpxhBmt_VUs3ozDAWkmqWKL3XajpxnJh6DJOspSH0hfvxu1shTBdqbW6XpsxGz7zOwCrZN8WfECoj4agK_pTrepU28KkAHbWagjFoR39FDBOmnVb6I7v4xFh6JEsBDBYqxFSWVEAKYWwGcZDdBOc/s1600/Before%202.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuIKj4rxutYetESi8sq9oI0-4YkRpkEBZ2oWvY8RpfpxhBmt_VUs3ozDAWkmqWKL3XajpxnJh6DJOspSH0hfvxu1shTBdqbW6XpsxGz7zOwCrZN8WfECoj4agK_pTrepU28KkAHbWagjFoR39FDBOmnVb6I7v4xFh6JEsBDBYqxFSWVEAKYWwGcZDdBOc/s320/Before%202.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><o:p>My unknowing minion, working like a trojan. So grateful!</o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0DxZYFWOIC_BDtNR1fND2oygEIuiQ3deLpJlrO9zUzygmQFJ4k7p2hCb8TZYc4b93Ulo8qQOzCpI8-KOJqlcKXoI-0TlvLfRY0Xb76SbtU_rLmmgzDx_bpmq6zyS8LStJS68KgKhEx4XUYuwHGq0N9HalBAlTyPcqqgcEmp_8g8W3DV8CXVtTHNOx7d4/s4000/Office%20Leather%20Shelf.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2450" data-original-width="4000" height="196" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0DxZYFWOIC_BDtNR1fND2oygEIuiQ3deLpJlrO9zUzygmQFJ4k7p2hCb8TZYc4b93Ulo8qQOzCpI8-KOJqlcKXoI-0TlvLfRY0Xb76SbtU_rLmmgzDx_bpmq6zyS8LStJS68KgKhEx4XUYuwHGq0N9HalBAlTyPcqqgcEmp_8g8W3DV8CXVtTHNOx7d4/s320/Office%20Leather%20Shelf.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">My stunning shelf, courtesy of the leather straps from my cousin Jacques Lombard from Belt & Band</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibKw1ooaOXPzMCY4ly2Zs6I7Lf9ZeKCaR_hyphenhyphenQQjJs0hvfxXq6MH7F0lYcpk9eXOfsfdt2Ll4g4lJKnhPSU11DC2WMS0FCZ7DDQrgljlHmvn6AfmMb9mDo1kd48dcAMwAzOwzDlNQf6Jw6qnLchol1mjyMZVnnINK8ZFPDtHUXJA-ESQPnGNHDFui6ugCo/s1600/Garden%202.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibKw1ooaOXPzMCY4ly2Zs6I7Lf9ZeKCaR_hyphenhyphenQQjJs0hvfxXq6MH7F0lYcpk9eXOfsfdt2Ll4g4lJKnhPSU11DC2WMS0FCZ7DDQrgljlHmvn6AfmMb9mDo1kd48dcAMwAzOwzDlNQf6Jw6qnLchol1mjyMZVnnINK8ZFPDtHUXJA-ESQPnGNHDFui6ugCo/s320/Garden%202.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">Some more after pics. Think these were taken about a year ago. So squint your eyes and imagine further growth and even more plants.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdRsHB1l81ZWQGJUfSw4y4XWIY6yEFP26qYe_tE2Gyxmb7Imgj3HBtMV9Yhk3ImWFbPyy8naoXYbK0Obhbhdf8KfT1QHLtuSm13PZS4lSu88ZltN5_7SL3LvXayKwUJTY2VFk2wwE82oxPoZqPoQhJF-8rHAuyUUmFzHpRLFfEAHPRhu7qChgbAVb-1dE/s1600/Garden%203.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1034" data-original-width="1600" height="207" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdRsHB1l81ZWQGJUfSw4y4XWIY6yEFP26qYe_tE2Gyxmb7Imgj3HBtMV9Yhk3ImWFbPyy8naoXYbK0Obhbhdf8KfT1QHLtuSm13PZS4lSu88ZltN5_7SL3LvXayKwUJTY2VFk2wwE82oxPoZqPoQhJF-8rHAuyUUmFzHpRLFfEAHPRhu7qChgbAVb-1dE/s320/Garden%203.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">Love, love, LOVE! Makes my heart so very, very happy!</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><br /></p><o:p><br /></o:p><p></p><br /><p></p>From the birds and the bees to family treeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14300555924899491187noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098604292442392707.post-56908090835248885162024-03-05T14:25:00.001+02:002024-03-05T14:25:38.266+02:00I think I'm back, but let's see<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYNx7L_OuYOmk1WdZS14NUWPdz6sw-vMOdCtNPm7BMs0d99J_HKovrq4tlBi4nPvlSbQ1q8tIKoagMz9HgIkJJzjWCW6thCTF_U1Ql1u1JeGQ1J5VC4LQSIKIoJniFXkrLa8I5LvFBiXWLpyQuqKPGbKXwx2GUaIx4jvH900cjn44ZVrUjXzOUx84BnLQ/s5632/Helene%20Pic%20-%20Blog%201%20-%2005.03.24.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="5632" data-original-width="4224" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYNx7L_OuYOmk1WdZS14NUWPdz6sw-vMOdCtNPm7BMs0d99J_HKovrq4tlBi4nPvlSbQ1q8tIKoagMz9HgIkJJzjWCW6thCTF_U1Ql1u1JeGQ1J5VC4LQSIKIoJniFXkrLa8I5LvFBiXWLpyQuqKPGbKXwx2GUaIx4jvH900cjn44ZVrUjXzOUx84BnLQ/s320/Helene%20Pic%20-%20Blog%201%20-%2005.03.24.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p><u>I think I'm back, but let's see</u></p><p>5 March 2024</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">So here’s where I’m at. Older
than I was the last time I did this. Blegh! So what. Still don’t feel any
older. Don’t really act older either. Amber occasionally asks me to grow up,
but it sounds like a really boring endeavour. So I’ve decided against it.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">My kids are all adults. Kinda!
Basically, which means that I’ve got nobody left in school. Yeeeeehaaaaa! Which
is actually a big up to me, cause it means that I made it through school, a
total of 4 times, including my own lacklustre first attempt, back in the day. Though
it does make me a bit sad. I’m one of those really odd people, who seriously
enjoyed the school run thing. As well as the whole having kids at school thing.
Odd, I know. But I always knew it was a season in my life and I’m partial to
seasons and enjoying every phase of the parenting journey along the way. I was
also extremely aware of the fact that while the days might seem long, that the
years would be short. It really would be gone very quickly and then it would be
over forever. Never to be recaptured again. Yes, as previously mentioned, I’m
odd.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">As for the school run, it meant chatting
to the kids in the car. Captive audience and all that. They couldn’t escape.
So, a fair amount of the time they had bloody earphones on. But mostly we took
turns listening to each other’s music. And we talked. Sometimes about
meaningless trivial things, like “What’s for supper?”. As well as figuring out
the logistics of fetching which kid, where and at what time. But we also spoke
about other stuff. Real stuff. Life stuff. Like, why you can’t feel it when
somebody licks your elbow? Did tortoises have eyebrows? And why we really
couldn’t attempt to finally enforce 3 day weekends every single week. Mondays
were overrated after all. Important discussions like that.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">I always got the very best and latest
school gos, fresh, fresh, FRESH! Amber, without fail, delivered the juiciest
and most detailed stories. My favourite. I also always got stories from Amber
when she was still in high school and beyond, and I would be the lifting mom to
and from parties and chills. The minute she’d get in the car, usually with a passle
of other girls, I’d ask the burning question that’d been on my mind since the
moment I knew she was going to a party, “So, who cried in the bathroom?”. Cause
it’s a well known and I’m sure documented fact, nay phenomenon, that at any
teenage girl gathering or party, some young girl (occasionally more than one)
was always going to cry in the bathroom due to some idiotic boy either ignoring
her, or paying too much attention to her, or for drinking too much, or for
saying something highly inappropriate, or for not saying something highly appropriate,
or for not commenting on her outfit, or new hairdo, or for his own ridiculous
fashion or hair choices, etc. Absolutely endless opportunities. So this was definitely
a highlight of late night lifting and well worth the effort of staying awake in
order to fetch from parties. Yes, I volunteered for this exact reason. Hey, I’d
take my pleasures where I could find them. Not that I encouraged or looked
forward to some young girl having an agonising time, it was just a given thing,
that it would happen. Promise I’m not cruel. It was more about the fact that
Amber would so eloquently regale me with these stories and no doubt enlighten
me with said idiot-boy’s stupid behaviour. Now, given the fact that I am also
in possession of two boys, I’m sure mine also caused a fair amount of bathroom
time. Boys! Girls, I tried my best. And I’m really, really sorry. They’re a foreign
species at the best of times.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Cole’s stories usually involved
his escapades and the reaction of others to them. Highly entertaining and I simply
always laughed out loud. We all did. To this day, nothing has changed. Delighted
that he’s still the same and I so enjoy his quirky, unusual and refreshing take
on life as well as his fabulous social commentary on everything. Definitely unconventional,
usually ridiculously apt and somehow spot on. It’s truly a gift. However I simply
NEVER got a bloody thing from Luke. Not really much of a sharer that one. Still
not. Secretly convinced he works for some or other government agency, enforcing
him to practice the discreet sharing of minimal knowledge. I mean, he might
actually want to share more. But who knows. He might have to kill me
afterwards, so it’s a bit risky. Though to be fair, he would always entertain, by
filling me in on the latest school fight or disrespectful student-to-teacher
moments. Think he lived for those. Kinda weird that given that, he did a
teaching stint in Thailand and absolutely loved it. However, come to think of
it, corporal punishment is very much a thing in Thailand. Though foreign
teachers could not administer violence themselves, I’m sure he was allowed to
watch. <span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Emoji",sans-serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Aptos; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol-ext; mso-hansi-font-family: Aptos; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: "Segoe UI Emoji";">😉</span>
Seriously though, he taught kindergarten kids. You know the age where little
kids still love their teachers and are eager little sponges, excited about absorbing
knowledge. And he completely and utterly thrived and embraced it with utter
joy. Still makes me smile when I think about it.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Anyway, so here I am again.
Writing, albeit rusty. So, I’m not going to commit to doing this daily, but I’ll
definitely try for more frequently. How’s that? It’s a start, and I’m looking
forward to it.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>From the birds and the bees to family treeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14300555924899491187noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098604292442392707.post-80943048811824538962019-06-21T14:49:00.000+02:002019-06-21T14:57:10.141+02:00Post 15th Birthday Chill Survival Tales<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNk-3c4HWUoF5ity4qJ6SiROICrWm7onO39sBw2HNg14eabs25k9Er8G8a3FIxU_ojHJIPEWzUc4b-SmjeHPZ8ZTwhv3tjIJRBP72mQ6o1wE6rLv7BqhYn99FmTWI3loy5CaB_roVbT9k/s1600/Polo+neck+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1543" data-original-width="1600" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNk-3c4HWUoF5ity4qJ6SiROICrWm7onO39sBw2HNg14eabs25k9Er8G8a3FIxU_ojHJIPEWzUc4b-SmjeHPZ8ZTwhv3tjIJRBP72mQ6o1wE6rLv7BqhYn99FmTWI3loy5CaB_roVbT9k/s320/Polo+neck+2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<u>Post 15th Birthday Chill Survival Tales</u><br />
21 June 2019<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
Post 15th birthday chill survival tales. It is possible for
5 boys to eat 20 burgers. The words, "Dude" and "Bra", can
with a moderate degree of success be incorporated into the same sentence about
5 times. But a 6th attempt is just one too many. Add 5 boys, 20 burgers,
chocolate cake, gassy cooldrink and chips into a fairly small confined space
and mix. The result is only going to bed at 4h30 in the morning. Some boys make
healthy choices like drinking water instead of gassy drinks and avoid sugar,
chocolates and sweets. Weird. Refreshing, but weird. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Boys like dancing. Go figure! Stomping is beeeeeg. Like
girls, they also spend a fair amount of time in the bathroom. However it's not
habitable thereafter for lengthy stretches of time. Playstation is still popular,
but so is bouts of Minecraft, voice noting is king and YouTube videos rule.
Inactivity for long periods of time require physical recharging activities such
as wrestling, throwing a ball, hand tennis and jumping. At times dangerously
high testosterone levels require masculinity tests such as chili eating
contests. They really danced after that! <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The presence of a mother can occasionally act like truth
serum. I have enviably accurate Intel on who sucked face with who at the most
recent party. Or is it whom? Occasionally, 2 boys sucked face with the same
girl. Though luckily not at the same time. Sometimes the lips were missed
entirely, and in true vampire tradition, they headed for the neck. Eeeuuuwww!
Don't know if this is a sign of virility? Once again, eeeuuuwww! Oddly enough,
the girls in question "proudly" post pics of themselves on social
media, sporting their love bite. Most peculiar. Back in the day, chicks used
scarves (even in summer), makeup and plasters at a push to cover up hickeys.
Cole successfully chatted up a "hot" 17 year old girl at the Mall
yesterday, got her number and chatted to her via WhatsApp. Was going swimmingly
until he let it slip that it was his 15th birthday. Chatting has ceased. With
that girl. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Chains around the necks with locks are VERY in! It's quite
acceptable for everyone in a group to wear one. Black is a cool colour. Polo
necks have made a comeback. Deep voices travel. Boys don't laugh, they guffaw.
Morning walks to the Cafe around the corner include all modes of transport -
walking, skateboarding, and if you're The One and Only Cole, hopping on a pogo
stick. All the way! Why be normal? Had I made a triple batch of flap jacks for
breakfast, they would've polished that too. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Boys can be very, very sweet. Even offering to wipe down a
table and pack the dishwasher. Happy to schlep mattresses to and fro. I baked a
chocolate cake quite late last night. In my over-zealous attempt to make it
look zhoosh with icing and grated white chocolate on top, I tried to turn the
warm cake out of the pan too soon. Predictably the cake collapsed. Looked
seriously messed up. Patted it back down in the pan again, tried to ice it, but
only really succeeded in lifting off the top layer of cake. Giggled a lot,
tried to fill the holes with icing and blur the overall effect with grated
chocolate, but you could see things had not gone according to plan. One of boys
looked kindly at me and said, "You can just say it's meant to be chocolate
brownies. It will still taste the same.". And he was not only kind, but
right. It was huge and they pretty much devoured it. Straight out of the pan,
all gooey and warm chocolatie. Yum! <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
You can plan a "party" for 2 weeks and it can turn
into a production, with half of the kids not being able to attend. Or you can
quickly rustle up a birthday chill in less than 24 hours and wing it. No
frills, no fuss, and absolutely perfect in every single way. So love being a
mom. And soaking up all of these experiences and memories. Being a mom is a
blessing and a gift. And a busy house is just my favourite! #momglow<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="_5afx" style="background-color: white; color: #385898; cursor: pointer; direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVzFznihJ6em1RBpPes-304ZmCoZPAkzL68OVR-CRGzRu1r8x3pzvigprI4-R85cK4y8hWRjl_g1RuY1Xf1bFFp0DgSu5dgou3jkv1ZYLerVpNqGu4-KjUjmnFdcSowqzTI1SeCd85qhE/s1600/Polonecks.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1367" data-original-width="1600" height="273" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVzFznihJ6em1RBpPes-304ZmCoZPAkzL68OVR-CRGzRu1r8x3pzvigprI4-R85cK4y8hWRjl_g1RuY1Xf1bFFp0DgSu5dgou3jkv1ZYLerVpNqGu4-KjUjmnFdcSowqzTI1SeCd85qhE/s320/Polonecks.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="_5afx" style="background-color: white; color: #385898; cursor: pointer; direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
Faces cropped out to protect the fairly innocent... Twins, right! Matching polo necks, chains with locks, black
jeans, rolled up (well, duh -
obviously), oh and white shoes. On a
side note regarding the chain with the lock, we've had a few
near-chipped-tooth-escapes. Locks are helluva heavy. Not really a good combo for an active young
boy, fond of wrestling, hand-tennis, randomly rolling around with the dog,
hockey in the garden, excitable games of PlayStation, …<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
From the birds and the bees to family treeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14300555924899491187noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098604292442392707.post-39652636981631514082019-05-02T16:40:00.001+02:002019-05-02T16:40:29.497+02:00Oupa Willem's Memorial<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiH7Z_ydKlyL9nj-q1eWtG_Dno9s1GR0v-NbbCORFs5o4zfAwfNbvdvq0SZBkUyzENhbl8gE1tyBgqI_zJOP16MTL2U9SMCzAEjoRrkxAHye_IlkcKhb-ejexJMbU03rKUSEDi-yzdciK0/s1600/Screenshot_20190502_163146.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1071" data-original-width="1080" height="317" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiH7Z_ydKlyL9nj-q1eWtG_Dno9s1GR0v-NbbCORFs5o4zfAwfNbvdvq0SZBkUyzENhbl8gE1tyBgqI_zJOP16MTL2U9SMCzAEjoRrkxAHye_IlkcKhb-ejexJMbU03rKUSEDi-yzdciK0/s320/Screenshot_20190502_163146.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<b><u><br /></u></b>
<b><u>Oupa Willem's Memorial</u></b><br />
2 May 2019<br />
<br />
On the 1st of July 2018, my beloved and very quirky Oupa Willem went to a special farm (up in the sky). I was privileged and fortunate enough to do a eulogy for him at the beautiful old little stone church in Tulbagh. A national monument. Just 6 months later, Oupa Helene went to join Oupa Willem at the farm. And once again, I got to honour a much beloved grandparent. I thought I'd like to share the eulogy I wrote for both of them.<br />
<br />
This one is for you Oupa!<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><u>Oupa Willem</u><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><u><br /></u></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Growing up,
most of my friends had conventional grandfathers. ‘n Oupa wat ‘n koerant lees. ‘n Oupa wat op die stoep sit. ‘n Oupa wat oud en passief is. Maar my Oupa?
Well, he worked in a dynamite factory.
And that pretty much sums things up.
He was many things, conventional was NOT one of them. And I am exceptionally grateful for that
distinction.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Willem
Adriaan Lombard was unique. A unique
person. A unique husband. A unique father. A unique friend. And most definitely a unique
grandfather. And for that, all of his
grandchildren thank their lucky stars.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">As the eldest
grandchild, I have the longest stretch of memory of him, and as such I remember
him from his middle 40’s. Pretty much the
same age I am now. Not many people can
say that about their grandfather. Over
the years he got a bit slower, a bit shorter, but not much else changed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">The wacky
remained. The quirky remained. And the creative out-of-the-box thinker
remained.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">I have been
flooded with memories of Oupa, throughout the years. From being little and visiting them in
Pinetown. From horsey rides on his back,
to helping me with school projects. From
surreptitiously slipping some money into my hand at Kleinbaai to buy Ouma some
chocolates, to seeing him continually sitting behind his computer. From his ridiculous and abnormal love for
printing (there are entire blank stretches of Brazilian forest thanks to him), to standing in the kitchen at Kleinbaai, in his night shirt, making the "Miesies" some morning tea. From always fixing
something, somewhere. From the radios
and microwaves, to the ovens and washing machines. And irrespective of what he fixed, there were
always spare parts left behind. Parts that
had formerly been part of said item, now deemed surplus to requirements. From always being busy and having a project
or hobby, to continually renovating, painting or building. From quietly sitting and watching TV with
Ouma and simply holding her hand, to tenderly kissing her. From his ridiculous love for check shirts, to
his old school insistence on always dressing up for special occasions in his
UCT blazer, wearing his standard badge.
A real gentlemen. From the sound
of him cleaning his pipe, to tobacco everywhere. The way he nearly always burnt his fingers
with matches every single time he lit his pipe, to the homely synonymous-with-Oupa smell of his pipe. From his daily
obsession with reading the newspapers, to his deep and abiding love of classical
music. From his ability to play any
instrument at the drop of a hat, even the fool.
To seeing him playing the piano and serenading Ouma with songs from
their youth, or simply singing along to Ouma, whilst she’s playing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Oupa Willem,
with Ouma Helene at his side, played a seminal and defining role in my
life. Helping to shape the person I am
today. And I think this can confidently
be said for all of Oupa’s grandchildren.
Oupa and Ouma formed a solid home base for us, albeit at their beloved
Cloetenberg or Kleinbaai. Ever
consistent. Never changing. Always dependable. Simply rock solid and there. Deeply loving. Always welcoming, embracing, and happy to see
each and every one of us. Involved in
our lives, knowing our people, interested in our interests and hobbies, caring
in every single way.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">I have learnt
some exceptionally valuable lessons from Oupa Willem. Lessons that will continue to shape and
define me. The value of passion for
life. The importance of hard work. That dedication pays off. That one can have long term visions and short
term goals. Oupa never stopped planting
trees, even though he would not see them grow tall. That it was important to keep up to date with
current affairs. That little people
should not be daunted by big projects and mammoth, seemingly impossible
tasks. That if you believed you could do
something, and you put in the hard work and effort, you would succeed and learn
in the process. Possibly adapting your
plans along the way. That problem
solving involved lateral thinking and often lead to unusual and unexpected, yet
rewarding outcomes. That you were never
too old to learn. That reading kept your
mind active. That it was of the utmost
importance to do things with every fibre of your being. To be joyful.
That research was a very good thing.
That what kept you young, was keeping abreast with changing technology
and of not being fearful of the future and change. That it was okay to be different. That eccentricity was a wonderful
quality. That you could have your own
opinion. That you could go against the
grain. That you could rock the
boat. That it was essential in life to
have hobbies – most especially interesting, unusual and challenging
hobbies. The deep satisfaction gained
from swearing in Afrikaans. The deep
appreciation for swearing in Afrikaans. And
the inventive use of swear words in Afrikaans. But most importantly of all, he taught me
about love. About marriage. About acceptance. And about family. And that family, is everything.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">There are
some things I’ll miss more than others.
His love for sport and how excited he got when he watched it. His sense of humour and propensity for
naughtiness, laughing, teasing and joking.
The fact that he almost never wore shoes. His ¾ pants in summer, his check shirts in
winter, and his standard black bowtie and UCT Blazer for special occasions. His adoration of his dogs. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Popping in at Cloetenberg in the mornings
after doing the school run, ringing the front door bell, and a small, scrawny barefooted
Oupa, wearing his night shirt, with his skinny little legs sticking out,
surrounded by dogs at his heels, scratching his red wild bedhead hair, smiling
at me and saying, “Jis Bok!” </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Always a big hug, kiss and a smile, using his
silly dog voice and pretending his dogs are greeting me. Following him back to
the bedroom, and sitting on the edge of the bed with him and Ouma. The morning newspaper strewn across the bed,
interesting and extremely intellectual books on the bedside tables, mugs of tea,
bits of tobacco, a pipe and box of matches lying to one side, a dog chewed
hearing aid amidst it all, and always a jar of peanut butter, with a spoon
sticking out, for midnight snacks. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Ons mis al
klaar vir Oupa. Ons gaan baie
verlang. Maar ons gun vir Oupa die
rus. Ek hoop Oupa kan elke dag rustig
die koerant lees. Dat Oupa, Buddy en
Bonnie lekker tyd saam kan spandeer. Dat
daar baie tabak is en dat die Springbokke beter speel. Ek belowe, ons sal gereeld vir Ouma tjoklits
koop. En ek hoop van harte, dat iemand
tog net f*kken Afrikaans kan praat. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Ons is baie
lief vir Oupa.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPjYaJMwZUAy-9DktS8o3jt898pPVJ6V90OGNIROR9ULT1eDlbNX9uYQ_0Fe4hx54NoYtD5we2AgDpxOQ5eh2nqFI7-kDx-38rYvAhskJ_EcnmsVkLcb94LpvZghsKrZW_K8JFQk39VT4/s1600/IMG_20180627_191448_282.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1458" data-original-width="1458" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPjYaJMwZUAy-9DktS8o3jt898pPVJ6V90OGNIROR9ULT1eDlbNX9uYQ_0Fe4hx54NoYtD5we2AgDpxOQ5eh2nqFI7-kDx-38rYvAhskJ_EcnmsVkLcb94LpvZghsKrZW_K8JFQk39VT4/s320/IMG_20180627_191448_282.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Oupa and Ouma looking ever so dashing for Daya's (Rob's) hippie themed 60th birthday party</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFZmdAzd1tpc1by17ugVXfSSWf28FVbppoPbe-DHO2MJqogMQU5TDumskg1Z5VSO9OEicFYNtWTgjTXaid4c3Cz4xegnY7lqY6xeURkksO5BjODYjxArsa_XQM-dNLICKq-wcM7RPFChA/s1600/Screenshot_20190502_122503.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="896" data-original-width="1080" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFZmdAzd1tpc1by17ugVXfSSWf28FVbppoPbe-DHO2MJqogMQU5TDumskg1Z5VSO9OEicFYNtWTgjTXaid4c3Cz4xegnY7lqY6xeURkksO5BjODYjxArsa_XQM-dNLICKq-wcM7RPFChA/s320/Screenshot_20190502_122503.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Oupa and Ouma at Willem and Charmaine's. Oupa sporting his signature sartorial elegance, wearing his UCT Blazer, a check shirt, and of course, his badge. Praat Afrikaans of F*k Of!</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjv2ZPmjuRYUeEpBrnX7y5nkQER4Z-YGJVhjs_P82a6fs-fa4JTXg7XLd0vdfK_aVbCUG5Nhy7QLfqv6P6vVxOvs72L5tK7DjKXEMTcywqR5kWxIy9buzSduicNJkcPy7kgXUl7duHIVxg/s1600/Screenshot_20190502_122535.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1058" data-original-width="1080" height="313" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjv2ZPmjuRYUeEpBrnX7y5nkQER4Z-YGJVhjs_P82a6fs-fa4JTXg7XLd0vdfK_aVbCUG5Nhy7QLfqv6P6vVxOvs72L5tK7DjKXEMTcywqR5kWxIy9buzSduicNJkcPy7kgXUl7duHIVxg/s320/Screenshot_20190502_122535.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Dressed up for a Xmas celebration at the old age home. Ouma wearing an old Father Xmas around her neck. Oupa wearing his signature blazer, bowtie and standard badge. Praat Afrikaans of F*k Of! He certainly meant it!</div>
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Oupa and Ouma visiting me. Absolutely LOVE Oupa's shirt! "Never underestimate an old man who is also a chemical engineer". #truestory</div>
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Inside the beautiful old stone church. Absolutely magnificent and a very fitting setting for a grand send-off. Willem at the helm.</div>
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Vark blomme, an old yellow wood table, a stone floor, a special pic, a grandfather clock, and the Oupa Willem bust. Perfection!</div>
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Please click and like <a href="http://cloetecapers.blogspot.com/" style="text-align: justify;">http://cloetecapers.blogspot.com/</a> Thanks!</div>
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From the birds and the bees to family treeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14300555924899491187noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098604292442392707.post-4710766513395904402018-12-22T13:08:00.000+02:002018-12-22T13:09:37.327+02:00Hi there old friend, it's been a while...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTaPrQ6EI8hUFodmdQp-Bpnj0P-fLG2ySvxlMhlYxRfb0WHBclii88wr10oYrNL7WDZ9A2qX90CShMzxkiVpvPPD8fs-P9TMP7CS5A45ZyqOvM7nN-LYsm4KLh75D_tPuaItHIbb2QiH0/s1600/Helene+Blog+Pic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1527" data-original-width="1600" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTaPrQ6EI8hUFodmdQp-Bpnj0P-fLG2ySvxlMhlYxRfb0WHBclii88wr10oYrNL7WDZ9A2qX90CShMzxkiVpvPPD8fs-P9TMP7CS5A45ZyqOvM7nN-LYsm4KLh75D_tPuaItHIbb2QiH0/s320/Helene+Blog+Pic.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<u>Hi there old friend, it's been a while...</u><br />
22 December 2018<br />
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Hi there
old friend, it’s been a while.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I
have missed you dearly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So much so!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You were my solace, my quiet space, my place
to reflect and my non-judging companion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Always listening, ever patient, indulgent of my efforts and celebrating
my victories with me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Rejoicing in my
children, my family and the simple joy I get out of everyday seemingly small
things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Things that bring me great
happiness and that give me that warm fuzzy feeling.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That fill my soul with gratitude,
appreciation and love.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You enjoyed my
quirky sense of humour and we had lots of fun together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Now I know
I’ve been gone for a ridiculously long time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And I don’t want to make promises I can’t keep. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Promises of seeing you every day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of hanging out together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I’d like to try to see more of you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So here’s my request.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Please don’t sulk keyboard and PC.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let’s take it slowly and rekindle our mutual
joy in being together again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Just
lately, I’ve been asked by two different people from very different walks of
life, with very different businesses, to write them a little blurb.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A year end newsletter for parents and a Maths
website intro.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Firstly, I LOVED it!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was so satisfying and rewarding.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And secondly, I was so humbled by their love
and appreciation for the trail of words I’d strung together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Overflowing gratitude for such an easy
enjoyable task.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So it made me think, and
it made me miss, and it made me long.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">I’ve always
forgotten that there’s an audience out there when I write.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because in my mind, it’s just me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My keyboard.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Spell check.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And my PC.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I’m always quite taken aback when I
realise that others might read what I’ve written.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Like it’s a huge surprise.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Which is silly, yet true.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Cause when it’s just me, my keyboard, spell
check and my PC, I don’t really write for an audience.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sorry, but it’s true.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m having a conversation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Albeit mostly with me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">So here’s
by checkered writing past.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I did my
beloved blog for a few years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve
always done speeches for special celebrations like weddings, birthdays,
anniversaries and just of late, I’ve done two funerals.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not because I particularly love public
speaking (who does), but because I love words.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And I enjoy playing with them and making them beautiful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However I also did a weekly wine newsletter
for a small boutique wine business for a few years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Which was rather odd, as I know nothing about
wine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As in nothing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t even really drink wine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But the owner would give me a few wine
specials and then I’d have carte blanche to do with it what I’d want.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And boy did I have fun.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At the start of each newsletter I’d have to
use Google first.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sauvignon Blanc is a
white wine, right?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think Merlot is
red.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Alas, I had a ball.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">So why not
have fun again?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As is, I have a few
half-baked blogs, simply waiting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Perhaps it’s finally time to dust them down and finish them off.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My mom always tells of people on her travels,
enquiring about the blog.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Expressing
their love of it, and their sadness that it had stopped.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Which is endearing and terribly sweet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> What? I had a following? Who knew?</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Anyway, so
perhaps it’s time to have some fun again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">(Please bear with me in my very clumsy efforts, as I've kinda forgotten how to even upload a blogpost)</span><br />
<span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<a href="http://cloetecapers.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">http://cloetecapers.blogspot.com/</a></div>
From the birds and the bees to family treeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14300555924899491187noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098604292442392707.post-16604762186242431112017-03-19T20:33:00.000+02:002017-03-19T20:33:01.705+02:00Advanced Level Badges - Taking my mom's-group-secret-society, to the final level<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWOW_sCkCtWUly_-yfrPt4OchbWsd_e7Ba4B_1W_q18K6-M8rrJmzc_tEAZOct1Mu6o_G5IMDV20WSaSfSWxtm_SJamLSsuNKM114PAWCLNnTXTXokG8UttQA5oMO3PJXmw8KJh6eRr_E/s1600/Badge+2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWOW_sCkCtWUly_-yfrPt4OchbWsd_e7Ba4B_1W_q18K6-M8rrJmzc_tEAZOct1Mu6o_G5IMDV20WSaSfSWxtm_SJamLSsuNKM114PAWCLNnTXTXokG8UttQA5oMO3PJXmw8KJh6eRr_E/s320/Badge+2.png" width="274" /></a></div>
<br />
<b><u><br /></u></b>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<u>Advanced Level Badges - Taking my mom's-group-secret-society, to the final level - Achieving badge earning crowning glory - Professional, proficient, prolific, pro-frigging-tastic!!!</u></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
18 March 2018</div>
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<br /></div>
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By now, most moms have graduated to the advanced level badges. The final stages. The highest of the high. You have passed both the beginner, as well as intermediate stages (see previous 2 blog posts). So now this is where it's all at. By this stage, you are not only professional, but also proficient, prolific, and all round pro-frigging-tastic!</div>
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<br /></div>
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Eat your heart out Baden Powell, my society is waaayyy cooler!</div>
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<br /></div>
<br />
<ul>
<li><u><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">Recitals/Concerts/Eisteddfod</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span></u><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"><u>s/Gradings/Graduations/Prize Givings Badge</u> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> these are the long-suffering moms. The ones who have sat through 3 hours of
prize giving, only to watch their little cherub, go up, for 11 seconds, to
receive a certificate for choir attendance</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">…</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
Eisteddfod is my worst. The
opportunity for disaster is just too ripe.
Like your kid or someone else</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">s forgetting the dance moves and freezing. Or singing their solo off key. I physically age at these events.</span></li>
<li style="text-align: justify;"><u>School Meeting Badge</u> <span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> this one needs no introduction. Places of education have a propensity for
meetings. Of the lengthy kind. The requirements of this badge, are at least
7 PTA</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">s. However if you are presented with the
necessity to attend 3 PTA meetings on the same night, at the same time, at at
least two different schools, the requirement drops down to three. Been there, done that. Wished I had a clone.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"><u>Book Covering Badge</u> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">– </span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">this badge can only be achieved in
January. Moms joining our group in February,
will have to endure a whole 11 month long wait, in order to qualify for this
badge during the following January. Now
the whole cover-the-text-book-with-plastic thing is not too bad. Nor is the whole
cover-the-workbook-with-pretty-paper-before-covering-it-with-plastic
thing. The problem comes in when you
have 3 kids. Each having a minimum of 11
subjects. Some requiring more than one textbook. And more than one workbook. You can literally find yourself with a
hundred books to cover. It is wise to
train your kids to do this arduous task themselves, or to assist you at the
very least. Even if there job only
entails cutting bits of sellotape.
Fanning you cool with an old Ideas magazine, and making you coffee.</span></li>
<li><u><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">Mom</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span></u><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"><u>s Taxi Badge</u> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> there is an automatic exclusion on this badge
for mothers who live within walking distance of school. In addition, if their children do no
extra-mural, off school premises, they do not qualify for this badge either. To best qualify for this badge, said mother
needs to preferably have more than one offspring. Personally if you</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">re aiming at getting your badge quickly, I can
recommend 3 kids. Each of them doing
extra-murals at the same time, at different venues. Furthermore at least one child has to be
teenager, requesting midnight pick-up times.
Bonus points are earned if you live in another town to the one that your
kids do their schooling in. I found that
this was one of my easiest badges to complete.
One Wednesday afternoon was all that it took</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">…</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"><u>Lost Property Badge</u> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">mothers
with children with ADHD are also easy-achievers with this badge. They are proficient in digging through lost
property boxes at various schools. They
mark every item said child takes to school.
In more than one place. However,
most importantly, they never send nice towels, best shoes, new clothes, good
cutlery and crockery, or favourite items along on school camps. These items will never return. It can be noted that sleeping bag covers,
should be cable tied to the zipper of sleeping bags. These mothers spend the GDP of some African
countries on slip slops every summer.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"><u>Split Personality Badge</u> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> this badge goes to all mothers of
teenagers. These mothers experience
moments of deep concern. When they look
at their former-sweet-children, who have suddenly changed into
hormonal-teenage-horrors. Occasionally
these mothers consider counselling, medication, alcohol (for themselves) and
exorcism, as a means of reaching their former darling children again. Please note, that changes in personality, generally
run concurrently with physical changes in the body. You know exactly what I mean. Apparently, they will eventually morph back
into human life form again. I</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">m currently waiting as fast as I can</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">…</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"><u>Delaying Tactics Badge</u> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> aaahhh, yes!
The old Delaying Tactics Badge.
This badge can only be awarded under two circumstances. The requirements are strict and adherence is
expected. You may only qualify for these
badges at: Bedtime,
Homework/Studying. Children do anything,
say anything and behave in any way, to avoid these two unavoidable
outcomes. Occasionally, they will even
fake their own death. They will need
innumerable bathroom breaks, profess starvation, have leg cramps (phantom </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> have you tried making a poo yet?), stomach
cramps (phantom </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> have
you tried making a poo yet?), headaches (phantom </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> have you tried making a poo yet?), they will
be thirsty, and my personal favourite </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> have the longest, boring, most dull,
unimportant story to tell you. Taking 13
looooooong minutes. In which time, you
can feel yourself aging. Please note
that it is important that the mother in question, refrains from clubbing the
child with a TV remote (loads of red tape).</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"><u>Cake Sale Badge </u></span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> this badge is awarded to those mothers who
lovingly bake and make home-prepared treats for cake sales at school. Numerous times. Over and over and over again. There comes a point, when you feel that you
will never get the smell of popcorn out of your hair (sorry, I don</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">t bake </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> popcorn is about as good as it gets from
me). However, fear not. This badge is also awarded to those mothers
who do the selling at cake sales. The
ones who end up paying in an exorbitant amount of money for the poor kids who just
don</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">t have
enough cash on them, and you don</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">t have
the heart to say, </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">“</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">No my
love, you can</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">t have a
chocolate cupcake</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">”</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">. These mothers handle sticky coins and help
little fingers to open wallets. They run
after kids who forgot their change and they patiently give little kids the
chance to feel grown-up by doing their own selection and timeously counting out
their money.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"><u>Telephone Badge</u> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> this is a special one. There is a reason, the old chord phones of
yonder were replaced by hands-free portable ones. Few things are more trying than a child who
discovers, 17 seconds after you</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">ve taken
a phone call, that they need to ask you a super-dee-duper important
life-and-death-question. Like, does
Barney have a belly button. Yip! At birth, all children have an inbuilt
sensor, that goes off. Mainly when you</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">re on the phone. They</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">re hungry, they need you to wipe their bum
(they like to holler this loudly, so the person on the other end of the line
can hear it), they</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">re
thirsty, they</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">ve got a
sore foot (have you tried making a poo yet?), they</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">re killing their sibling, or my personal
favourite </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> the
whole super-dee-duper important life-and-death-question thing. Like, why is the grass green or why are
bananas bendy? Which brings me
back. Phones with chords were fazed
out. As a safety measure. To protect children. From irritated mothers. However, it can be noted that some of these
mothers did use these chords on themselves, in self-mutilation. I really understand.</span></li>
<li><u><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">I</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span></u><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"><u>m-Hungry-Badge</u>
</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> this
badge can be attained at any time of the day or night. However, it is easily achieved during certain
critical moments. The half an hour
leading up to you cooking supper. The
half an hour after you</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">ve just
cleared the table from a meal and they</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">ve assured you that they</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">re full.
Any shopping trip ever.
Particularly when you</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">re in
the aisle of torture (the sweet and snack aisle), or when you</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">re waiting at the till and the tills are simply
lined with all things sugar. Actually,
any time they leave the home and they know that you</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">re carrying your wallet, you</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">re vulnerable.
You are not immune if you</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">ve just
fed your child. Because here</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">s the trick </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> these hunger pangs are not actually hunger
related at all. It can also be said that
kids have a fondness, which they</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">re fond
of declaring loudly (to anyone willing to hear </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> the elderly makes for a great audience), for
expensive items. Like watermelons out of
season, when they cost the same as a rump steak. I can really recommend hearing loss (don</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">t forget your earmuffs!). However, I usually have healthy snacks on
hand. Apples, carrots, etc. Ironically, upon presentation of these food
alternatives, they usually find themselves feeling full after all. Hunger gone.
It</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">s a
miracle!</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"><u>Story-Time Badge</u> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> this badge is only for those mothers with
small children. Obviously. You qualify for this badge, once you can
quote a book, verbatim, from front to back, without even opening the book. Extra points are given for being able to
quote the page number. Even more points
are earned for being able to do this feat, when being randomly woken up at
3am. The expert mother can even doodle
the appropriate pictures. Badges are
also awarded to mothers who bravely dodge the, </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">“</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">just one more story</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">”</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">, request, 943 nights in a row. Irrespective of how many stories she has
already read to the child. Or the
lateness of the hour.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"><u>Sleep-Dodge Badge</u> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> most mothers complete the Sleep-Dodge and
Delaying Tactics Badges together, as there is some common ground between the
two. However some kids take the whole
sleep-dodge thing to a whole new level.
There is a reason kids are for well-known for their amazing creativeness
and imagination. The dramatic child goes
with the, </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">“</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">there</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">s a monster under my bed</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">”</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> story.
The clever mother, though sympathetic in the beginning, must harden up
and be smart. Especially if this is the
23<sup>rd</sup> consecutive night in a row the child has dished up the same
story. Particularly if the child has
already exhausted the other Delaying-Tactics resources to no avail. And said child is exhibiting no obvious sign
of fear and is in fact sporting a smirk.
Because they are indeed laughing at you.
I was the lucky recipient of a gold-star-medalist in the Sleep-Dodge
stakes. My little cherub could
projectile vomit on cue, in order to avoid sleeping. Yip, on purpose. For fun.
To avoid sleeping.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"><u>Glitter Badge</u> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> this badge is given in conjunction with
playschools and preschools across the world.
It entails liberal dusting of all artworks with glitter. In fact, excessive use seems to be
encouraged. Kids tend to come home,
covered in glitter from hair to toe. The
most pesky place to remove said glitter, is from the actual scalp area. True story.
Glitter is truly, the gift that keeps on giving. It never ends</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">…</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">..</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"><u>Roadtrip Badge</u> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> I am only giving you 4 words. These are the only words needed to explain
this badge </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">– “</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">Are we
there yet?</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">”</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> These
words are usually uttered at 7 minute intervals. From the start of your four and a half hour
journey. Non-stop. By various kids. However, brief reprieves do exist. At every 42km enforced bathroom break demand
by the kids. Irrespective of whether
there</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">s a
bathroom in sight or not. Sigh.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"><u>Show Badge</u> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> aaahhh yes!
The Show Badge. This is not to be
confused with the concert badge. The
show badge, describes the little home-plays kids tend to do. Or should I say, little home-style theatre
productions. Rule of thumb </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> they will not be well rehearsed. You will be required to clap
enthusiastically, irrespective of talent, plot line and props. These </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">“</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">productions</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">”</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> (I use the term loosely), will usually be
rather lengthy. So make sure your seat
is comfy. I once had to endure a 23
minute dying scene by one of my kids. In
the scorching hot sun. I nearly expired
from heatstroke. And boredom. And my hands were sore from clapping. I</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">d mistakenly assumed that my enthusiasm will
speed things up. Sadly, it encouraged my
</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">“</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">dying
swan</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">”</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">, to
make many near-recoveries, before finally, mercifully succumbing. Truth be told, I nearly assisted him to meet
his maker in the end, by wacking him over the head with the little kiddie chair
I had to wedge my bum into. It was a
near escape.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"><u>Birthday Party Badge</u> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> this badge is awarded to the mother who has
lovingly baked and self-prepared every edible treat, for the kids and the
parents. She</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">s packed party packs, colour-coordinated
everything, bought matching balloons, risked fainting from blowing up the
balloons, and lovingly made personalised birthday invitation for all of the
little guests. This badge is also
awarded to the mother who simply sends an sms out, 3 days before the proposed
party. She scoots down to the local
bakery on the morning of the party, to buy any cake she can find. She randomly buys edible treats for kids and
the staying moms alike. She no longer
does party packs and simply resorts to bowls filled with sweets on the
table. Kids have pockets, don</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">t they?
They can choose their own treat to take home. If there are leftovers. There</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">ll be balloons, if she remembers, but it</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">s not a given.
I</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">ve been
both these moms. The
party-mom-over-achiever and the last-minute-dot-com-party-mom. I can confirm that the kids have equal
amounts of fun, either which way. They
don</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">t care who made the cake. They just want
tartrazine, sugar and food colouring.
And lots thereof. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"><u>Dance Party Badge</u> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> brave, brave, brave moms. The thing with a dance party is this </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> dance parties only ever occur when there are
hormones involved. Which is why little
kids don</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">t want
dance parties. Because if you</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">re a boy, then girls are gross. And vice versa. The first rule of thumb, that teenage
hormones are a brewing, is the request for a dance party. Unfortunately, dance parties are an
after-dark-event. So have your
spies. Be vigilant. Personally, I can recommend headlamp
torches. Easy to spot the little buggers
in the dark, when they</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">re
trying to sneak off to have a smooch.
Stealth is everything. Because
basically, your precious child, that you</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">re going to all this effort for, does not
really want you to be there at all.
Their requirements of you are simple </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> send out the invites, make sure there</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">s food and cooldrink, ensure the music is loud,
and make yourself scarce. It is a proven
fact that sexist division will occur for the duration of the party. With boys hanging in one corner, laughing and
goofing off. And girls titivating in the
bathroom and having big girlie dances with each other. Until 3 minutes before the first parent
arrives. And everyone finally starts
dancing. Together. Strange but true.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"><u>Sleepover Badge</u> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> this badge is only awarded to parents who have
hosted sleepover parties. Regular
average one-kid-only sleepovers don</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">t count.
Cause the thing with sleepover parties, is this </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> THEY DON</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">T SLEEP.
It is a cruel misnomer, calling these parties a sleepover, when in fact
they don</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">t. Nothing could be further from the truth. Instead you</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">ll be treated to lots of giggles if it</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">s girls, pillow fights with boys, make-up
spilled everywhere with girls, farting with boys, pieces of pizza on your
couch, popcorn kernels under foot, loud guffawing, a pile of lost property
afterwards, jumping on your chairs, running in the passage, etc. With a bit of luck, the early faders will
start to wilt after midnight. But the
die-hards will be loud and rowdy till about 3am, only quietening (if you</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">re lucky), after dire threats. Which gives you about 2 hours if you</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">re lucky, before the first ones start waking up
again at 5am. However, this does all
change when they</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">re
teenagers. Sort of. They go to even bed later, but if they</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">re boys, they</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">re in a man-cave. Girls watch movies until the early
hours. They rise later, however it might
be for different causes altogether</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">…</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"><u>Boardgame Badge</u> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> this applies to all games, played whilst
sitting down. And though boardgames are
the norm, cards do also qualify. Go-catch-a-fish in particular, played 23 times in a row. It</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">s really a chore and requires diligent work to
continuously lose. Snap, however is also
a qualifying game. Monopoly is the
easiest game to play in order to get your badge. Mostly because the average game lasts about 5
and a half hours. And your 12 year old is
a loan shark, charging exorbitant rates, as the banker. Making you pawn your precious Clifton and Westville
too. It is very hard to withstand their
boastful gloating when you land on their expensive property, with its rather
distasteful and excessively flamboyant 3 hotels. On one property. On occasion I</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">ve considered offering my real car as capital
surety, in order to pay back my debts.
Because the truth of the matter is, they won</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">t let you bow out gracefully and admit
defeat. They enjoy watching you
suffer. And it usually gets worse. After offering to donate your kidney and a
spleen just to get off their empire, chances are you</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">re going to land on Chance and get lobbed with
a fake dentist bill. For the very same 12 year old, with his crooked teeth. Jeez!</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"><u>PMS Badge</u> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> this badge is obviously reserved for mothers
of daughters only. Once a month, a
body-snatching alien swoops down, and turns your already-hormonal teenage
daughter, into a 2 headed beast. One who
bites and snaps at anything and everything.
I suggest you throw chocolate at it.
It tends to help. Alternatively
there is a muzzle. Though this is
apparently frowned upon. Please go into
this with your eyes wide open. No matter
what you say or do, you are clearly wrong and insensitive. When you reach breaking point, I suggest you
concentrate your efforts on consuming the chocolate yourself. And make a grab for your earmuffs at the same
time. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"><u>Star Chart Badge</u> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> effective though the old star chart is, it
demands dedication, perseverance and persistence. There comes a point, in every single star
chart experience, where I</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">m at
least 2 days behind, because I</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">ve run
out of stars. Or rewards. Or both.
All mothers make this same mistake.
It is exhausting. And at some
point, it just becomes ammunition in your child</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">s Delaying-Tactics game as well as their
Bedtime-Dodge efforts. Do not get roped
into playing their game. You must remain
strong. Do quick hand drawn crooked
stars in blue pen if the need calls. And
leftover Spur mints from your handbag are ample rewards at a push don</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">t you think?</span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: Arial Unicode MS, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif;">The moral of the story is
this </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif;">–</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif;"> us
mothers have it tough. It is one pitfall
after the next. Until you have that one
magical moment. When the stars are
aligned. Your kids are achingly
sweet. And you simply know </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif;">–</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif;"> it</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif;">s all so worthwhile, and I</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif;">d do it all over again. Because every mother knows the undisputable
truth </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif;">–</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif;"> THEIR
kids are the best. And they wear those
hard earned badges with pride. Because
it means you</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif;">ve
walked the walk. Not only talked the
talk. You</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif;">ve put in the time, the effort. And you</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif;">ve given your heart.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif;">Us moms. We rock like that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<a href="https://www.facebook.com/FromTheBirdsAndTheBeesToFamilyTrees/?fref=ts" target="_blank">Please click and like on Facebook - Thanx!</a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
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<br />From the birds and the bees to family treeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14300555924899491187noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098604292442392707.post-25519693577087647562016-01-29T12:27:00.003+02:002016-01-29T12:27:32.588+02:00Intermediate Level - Badges, badges, badges! My very own Mom's version of Cubs/Scouts/Brownies.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<u>Intermediate Level - Badges, badges, badges! My very own Mom's version of Cubs/Scouts/Brownies.</u><br />
29 January 2016<br />
<br />
Following on from yesterday's Beginner Level Badges, from my Mom's Society, I present to you with the Intermediate Badge Requirements listed below:<br />
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<div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"><u>Personal Space Badge</u> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> this badge is awarded to mothers at
birth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, it is a gift that keeps
on giving.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Children have no sense of
personal space.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nor boundaries.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is a concept, they simply can</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">t grasp.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Nothing is sacred.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not even the
air you breath.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They are particularly
fond of breaching the personal space bubble, when they are sick.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And simply dying to give you gastro too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or on the odd occasion, when they have a
nightmare, and you selflessly invite them into your bed, so that you can
comfort them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Beeeeeg mistake!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They will hog your duvet, your pillow and
mattress space too, and you will find yourself, doing a death-defying cling to
the outer ends of the bottom left hand corner of the mattress, for a wee little
bit of sleeping space.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Only to find a
foot in your face.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One wearing your
sock.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Jeez!</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"><u>I-Forgot-I-Have-A-Test/Oral/Project Badge</u> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> this badge is only ever awarded after bedtime.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Which is when unparalleled amazing memory
recall from offspring, usually comes into play.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Mere hours before the aforementioned test, oral or project.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In general, requests of this manner are
hardly ever generic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Rather, they</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">re extremely type specific, of the </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">“</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">I need Lumo green A3 paper</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">”</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">, variety.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Something hard to drum up out of thin air.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Like having failed to mention the need to
dutifully record the moon phases for the previous lunar month, complete with
accompanying pictures.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You know, sort of
</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">“</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">easy-to-achieve</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">”</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>You can simply fabricate</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">…</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">.. Why
just a few years ago, my one kid <span lang="EN-US">“</span>recorded<span lang="EN-US">”</span> the most cloudy moonless nights in living history<span lang="EN-US">…</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"><u>Triangle/Square Badge</u> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> this award is given to all those mothers who
have accidently cut their beloved offspring</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">s lovingly prepared sandwich into triangles,
when it was meant to be cut into squares.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>However, the reverse is also possible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Hell hath no fury like a toddler who wanted triangles and you foolishly
presented them with squares.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Pffft!</span></li>
<li><u style="text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">I’</span></u><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"><u>ll-Do-It-Myself
Badge</u> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> this
award is given to all mothers who have heard this phrase over and over
again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It can be noted that this phrase
is most often uttered by children, who really can</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">t be doing what they want to be doing, by
themselves.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Like peeling their own
orange, with a sharp knife, at the age of three.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However it is not merely reserved for
death-defying feats.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is also uttered
most frequently, when the mothers are pressed for time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And they</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">re in a reeeaaallly big hurry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Like being late for the school run with a kid
in Gr1 (they stress terribly at this age), and your delightful toddler, insists
on first putting their snack box into their school bag for playschool, and
having a lengthy struggle with a stubborn zipper on the offending bag.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then insisting on putting their bag on their
back, on their own, battling to get their arms through the straps.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All this in aid of the 12 step journey to the
car.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Having reached the car, they then
insist on taking the bag off their back.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Battling once more.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then they
insist on climbing into the car, at a snail</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">s pace.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Before struggling with strapping themselves into the safety belt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All of this accompanied by howling from the
Gr1 kid.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In hindsight, never leave home
without earmuffs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They come in handy at
the most unexpected times.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"><u>Safety Belt Badge</u> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> this badge is awarded to all mothers who on a
daily basis, has to utter the time-old-phrase of </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">“</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">please put your safety belt on</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">”</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This
despite this being the norm, for every single car trip.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ever taken.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Anywhere.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No exceptions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ever.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"><u>Toothbrush Badge</u> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> this badge is a really trying one and simply
always well deserved.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It entails the
mother uttering, </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">“</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">please
brush your teeth</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">”</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> in a
calm and friendly voice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Followed
shortly thereafter, by, </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">“</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">go and
brush your teeth</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">”</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">, and
then, </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">“</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">Your
teeth!</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">”</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Lastly followed by, </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">“</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">for the 4<sup>th</sup>/5<sup>th</sup>/6<sup>th</sup>
time, go and brush your teeth right now</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">”</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At
this point, it is a given, that the child has still not brushed their
teeth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After a few more </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">“</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">terse</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">”</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> and less friendly instructions, sometimes
accompanied by an increasingly raised voice, the child might eventually
proclaim to have brushed their teeth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>You might even hear the sounds of the electric toothbrush in the
distance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But do not be fooled.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The wily child, simply puts the toothbrush
on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Without putting toothpaste on it
first.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wetting it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or even putting it in their mouth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They will try this tactic every single
morning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And most especially at
night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They are slimy little suckers
when it comes to brushing their teeth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"><u>Towel Badge</u> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> mothers who spend an inordinate amount of time
picking up or instructing their offspring to pick up their towels, need no
explanation for this award.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It speaks
for itself.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"><u>Lice Badge</u> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> the lice badge is also slightly larger than
the average badge.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And is gold
embossed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It entails the long suffering
mother spending hours of her life, combing out nits out of a howling child</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">s hair.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>A child who proclaims at 23 second intervals, </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">“</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">you</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">re pulling my hair</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">”</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There
is a reason, that lice combs are used.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And not lice brushes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A whack
from a lice comb, does not inflict too much damage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Whereas brush beatings can be rather severe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It really is an in-built safety measure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The reason for the gold embossed badge, is
the fact that lice infestations, are the equivalent of a relay race.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Lasting weeks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No sooner have you deloused child one, before
they pass it on to kid 2.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just when kid
2 is lice-free, kid 3 is infected.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And
kid 1 starts complaining of itching once more.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Lice badge moms are known to be overly fond of alcohol.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"><u>Communicable Disease Badge</u> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> the Communicable Disease Badge is not an easy
achievement.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And is usually achieved
after Chickenpox.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Once more, Chickenpox,
is not so much a disease, at it is a relay race.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The itchy baton being passed from one kid
onto the next.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you have 3 kids, you
can find yourself housebound for 5 weeks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>With miserable kids.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Spotty miserable
kids.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Who can</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">t refrain from scratching.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The benefit of most anti-itching oral
medicines, is the high alcohol content.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>There comes a point, when the kids are too zonked to scratch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Use this time to sleep.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"><u>Walking Tissue Badge</u> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> this badge, goes to every single mom who has
ever used her t-shirt, dress, jersey, sweater, scarf or pants to wipe a child</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">s nose.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On
rare occasions, she can even be known to sacrifice a sock, or her handbag
lining.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At a push, a till slip from
Checkers has also done the trick.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"><u>Cartoon Badge</u> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> this badge is awarded to moms who have lost a
certain range of hearing, due to squeaky cartoon voices.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The decibel range is forever more
scarred.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Upon hearing just a few seconds
of the Barney song, or the voice of Phinneus, or Hannah Montana, these moms can
be found in the corners of rooms.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In a
foetal position, rocking themselves, mumbling, </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">“</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">make it stop</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">”</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">, over and over again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They have also been known to make bizarre
looking Voodoo dolls, resembling Hannah Montana and Barbie.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Occasionally even Spiderman and Superman.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"><u>Learner License Badge</u> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> I don</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">t really feel that I need to expand much on this
one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Suffice it to say, that you as the
mother, are a blithering idiot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Knowing
very little about driving and road safety.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Which is surprising, I suppose.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Given the fact that most moms of Learner Licence kids, have been driving
for 20 years or more.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But fear not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Your Learner Licence driver knows
everything!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Can drive anything.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And the fact that they occasionally nip the
side walk or stall the car, is merely a means of keeping you on the edge of
your seat and ensuring that your knuckle defying clutch on the sides of your
seat, is not released.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It can be noted
that mothers of Learner Licence kids, all of a sudden find themselves, with
offspring who have developed extra sensory hearing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At the merest tinkle of car keys, they come
racing down the passage, with a request to drive you somewhere.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These mothers are known to go into stealth
mode on occasion, to avoid just such an experience.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Using extreme caution to remove the car keys
from the hook at the kitchen door, occasionally going into fictitious bouts of
coughing, to mask the sound of jingling keys.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Learner Licence kids are also fond of the element of dodging the
law.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Requests for driving are often
uttered, when they don</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">t
actually have their Learner Licence on their person.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because, </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">“</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">the police will never pull us over, no one will
ever know</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">”</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">, and my
personal favourite, </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">“</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">I know
how to drive, I won</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">t have
an accident</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">”</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Learner Licence moms are also overly fond of
alcohol.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Occasionally they indulge
intentionally, so that they themselves are over the legal limit, therefore
avoiding the whole teenage driving experience altogether.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"><u>Teenage Badge</u> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> the Teenage Badge is not only bigger than the
average badge, gold embossed and emblazoned with tassels, it also comes with a
voucher for a rare treat -<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>a set of
earphones and an iPod to muffle out the sounds of teenage whining and demands,
a sleeping eye mask to prevent accidently witnessing uninhibited eye rolling
and a t-shirt, stating, </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">“</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">been
there, done that, wearing the t-shirt right now</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">”</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Unless
you have actually parented a teenager, you have no comprehension of exactly
what this entails.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Boundaries will be
crossed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Experimenting will occur.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Liquor will be consumed (not only by
you).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Cigarettes will be smoked.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hormones will be having a party.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There will be boy/girl problems.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Teachers will be declared unfair.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Homework will be ruled archaic and
senseless.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Curfews will be deemed
outdated.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No matter how old you are, how
many children you have born, the fact that you have completed school, and
tertiary education, you</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">ve run a
home, had a few jobs, endured many a hardship, you still would not have it as
bad as them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In addition, despite your
advanced years and life experience, they are sure to know more.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>About everything.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yip, they</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">re special like that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A particular favourite of mine, is the slow
way they speak to me on occasion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Enunciating with care.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As if I</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">m the most intellectually challenged person,
every having crossed their path.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">s a miracle I</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">m bright enough to cook them supper every
night, without burning the house down.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"><u>Lunchbox Unpack Badge</u> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> this is a badge that you</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">ll find yourself earning again, and again, and
again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kids have a latent, inherent
inability to unpack their lunchbox from their school bags at the end of every
day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It might be a physiological design
error.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A group of teenage </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">“</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">intellectuals</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">”</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> are investigating this phenomenon right
now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But they</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">re finding the research a bit lame</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">…</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"><u>Fussy Eater Badge</u> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> aaaaahhh yes!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The Fussy Eater Badge.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This badge
is mostly reserved for families of multiple children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Where more than one child has a dislike for
some random food substance, for no obvious reason.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Like eggs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Please note that said child does not have an allergy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Said child just doesn</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">t like the thought of eggs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, eggs in batter is allowed </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> for treats like pancakes, waffles, flap jacks,
cakes, etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Fussy Eater likes to be
picky about something that most other people are not fussed about at all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Vegetables are a common thread.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Occasionally, the fussy eater, picks a colour
of vegetable they distrust.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For no
obvious reason.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For example.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All of my kids are absolutely crazy about my
Spaghetti Bolognaise.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Particularly, when
they don</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">t have
the bolognaise bit with their spaghetti.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And they actually only have the plain cooked spaghetti on its own.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some even like to forego the whole
cooking-the-pasta-ritual.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And like to
eat their pasta raw.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It makes for very
crunchy meal times.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>#wishiwasjoking</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"><u>Acceleration Reflex Badge</u> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> this badge is awarded to the moms with the
most amount of self-restraint ever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
Acceleration Reflex Badge is only ever awarded to mothers of teenagers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It happens in that exact moment, when you</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">ve spent a bit of time with your </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">“</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">all-knowing and wise</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">”</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> teen in the car, and you drop them off
somewhere.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And as they get out of the
car, and they walk in front of you, you have to clamp down on the urge to
accelerate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And flatten them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Acceleration Reflex Badge moms often have
white knuckles and clenched teeth.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"><u>Chore Badge</u> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> the Chore Badge is awarded to those moms who
have braved the wrath of their children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>By daring to give them humiliating and demeaning tasks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Like making their beds.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Unpacking the dishwasher. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And setting the table.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These are clearly an evil manner of
mother.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Respect!</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"><u>Extra-mural Badge</u> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> this badge is awarded to those moms who have
wasted away the best years of their lives, gaining pigmentation next to the
sports field.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Watching their kids playing
hockey, tennis, netball and rugby.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Mostly with mediocre skills. </span>They</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">ve done swimming lessons and karate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Art, modern dancing and ballet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There have been instruments </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> string, wind and percussion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There has been choir and Playball.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The list goes on and on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And on and on. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These moms have done it all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Albeit from the side lines.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They actually deserve medals, one and all.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"><u>Make-over Badge</u> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> this badge is mainly awarded to the mothers of
girls.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For bravely enduring the worst
manicures in history.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The clown-like
make-up applications and the<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>eyeball
watering, scalp and hair pulling endured, during the routine offers from their
daughters to do their hair.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Brave
mothers have endured this all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even
worse, they</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">ve
professed to love the results.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"><u>Are-You-Wearing-That Badge</u> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> the badge goes to the moms of teens.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Babies don</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">t care what you wear.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">re not discerning about what style of clothes
they ruin and stain for you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Toddlers
and young children are not too fussed either.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>However, the second one of your children develops hormones, they become
the fashion police.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Does.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Matter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>You.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wear</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">…</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">..You.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Will.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Get.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Wrong.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Guaranteed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">s too long or too short.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Too bright or too dull.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">s got too many pockets.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or not enough pockets.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The golden rule is this </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> wear it anyway.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because history will prove, in 10 short
years, when they look back upon the pics taken on this very day</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">…</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">..That.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Were.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wrong.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Because who actually looks like an idiot?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Undies are called just that </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> undies.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It implies that the garment is meant to be worn UNDERNEATH
something.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To name but one example.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">ve all lived to regret our teenage dressing
disasters.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why, personally I can attest
to the bubble skirt fiasco.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
yellow/purple combo at all times.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
hair bubble too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So here</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">s my suggestion </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> simply bide your time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Take pics of what they<span lang="EN-US">’</span>re
wearing this very minute.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">s a bit of a long game, but fear not </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> you will be victorious!</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"><u>Art Work Badge</u> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> this badge is particularly applicable to
mothers of playschool and preschool children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Rule of thumb </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> never
presume to know or understand what the artwork is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It might look like a sweet little painting of
a dog.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But chances are, it</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">s a turtle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Or a frog.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Possibly even a
car.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The first time they come home with
a box construction, it</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">s all
rather sweet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Until you realise that
box-construction-day is every Thursday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And you are never allowed to throw anything away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>EVER!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Any given </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">“</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">masterpiece</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">”</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> can consist out of an empty 17kg box of corn
flakes, a Berocca tube, a tissue box, a rusk box, a toilet roll inner, a box
that formerly contained batteries, and a shoebox.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All miraculously glued together with 3l of
cold glue.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Which is never quite
dry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So it gloops down all over your car.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And have I mentioned yet that it</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">s covered in glitter?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Red if you please.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In addition, brace yourself </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"> there is a whole subdivision dedicated to loo
roll creations.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At Easter time, they</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">re turned into cutesie little bunnies.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At Xmas they become Santa.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At Valentine</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">s Day they become picture frame holders and at </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">…</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">..<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And
so the list goes on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And don</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">t even let me get started on the dry noodle
creations.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You have but nooooo
idea.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Unless you</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">re an Art Work Badge mom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In which case you</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">ll get it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And only too well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So here</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">s my advice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Deconstruct the box-construction creations, piece by piece.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And smuggle the bits out of your house.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Weekly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>In small deposits, in the big black bin, on bin collection day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Shortly before collection.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This all done, lest the child becomes
suspicious of your activities and they decide to investigate the bin.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hell hath no fury, like a child whose artwork
has been violated</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">…</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you are ever caught out, desecrating
artwork, my advice is this </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
LIE!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Save yourself and blame the father</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">…</span></li>
</ul>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Lots of food for thought Moms. I am sure that without too much effort, many of you, have already qualified for an enviable amount of badges. Such is our multi-tasking skills. While you've been thinking you've been merely parenting away, day in and day out, with your main goal simply being bedtime when the little cherubs go off to sleep, you have inadvertently already qualified for many a badge.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Tomorrow I will end off with the highest level of badge earning - Level 3 - Experienced/Advanced. Stay tuned for more tomorrow... </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/FromTheBirdsAndTheBeesToFamilyTrees/?fref=ts" target="_blank">Please click and LIKE on Facebook - Thanx!</a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">
</span>From the birds and the bees to family treeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14300555924899491187noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098604292442392707.post-81695969200264953012016-01-28T11:12:00.002+02:002016-01-28T11:51:24.702+02:00I'm starting my own Mom's variation of Cubs/Scouts/Brownies - Beginner Level<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0ek7ibqbOoi0SMQAaovGg0Ty6t3_gM0isBPgiIcaWnqSKapSOdpVjiKQLairYPO0M3iIonEMmYViFjTkGV2bHh9W5-nTPQcB3EEHd2hGcBUY3Mur3dIsMOMvrMejy7MFhDECSNPy3ixs/s1600/4fa697f32960aaa9fa9e52cd06a9e029%255B1%255D.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0ek7ibqbOoi0SMQAaovGg0Ty6t3_gM0isBPgiIcaWnqSKapSOdpVjiKQLairYPO0M3iIonEMmYViFjTkGV2bHh9W5-nTPQcB3EEHd2hGcBUY3Mur3dIsMOMvrMejy7MFhDECSNPy3ixs/s320/4fa697f32960aaa9fa9e52cd06a9e029%255B1%255D.jpg" width="256" /></a></div>
<br />
<u>I'm starting my own Mom's variation of Cubs/Scouts/Brownies - Beginner Level</u><br />
28 January 2016<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">I</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">ve decided I</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">m going to take a page out of old Baden Powell</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">s book.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Look if he can start a </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">“</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">secret</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">”</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> society, so can I.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Just think of the fun.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">ll do a special handshake.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And make a salute of sorts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Possibly a uniform (though it won</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">t be brown).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And definitely, absolutely, without a doubt, huge, humongous, gigantic,
enormous emphasis will be placed on the gaining of badges.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In true Cubs/Scouts/Brownies tradition.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Please note these will be simple glue-on
badges.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No ironing or sewing involved.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">But here</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">s the deal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>My society will be exclusive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A
Mom</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">s-Only
kind of thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No dads.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No husbands.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>No boyfriends.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And never, ever,
ever any kids.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They can’t even come to
our meetings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My society, my rules </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> KIDS ARE BANNED!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Here will be our pledge.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One we shall recite at every single meeting:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">
</span><br />
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">We, the moms, will unite.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We shall strive for a just universe, where
dad</span></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">s do
equal duties and chores.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We all live
with one goal in sight </span></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">–</span></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> a day
we will have a warm meal, at the same time as the rest of our families.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>An uninterrupted meal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We will one day be able to wear white clothes
again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We will lay claim to bathroom
privacy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Handbags and their contents
will be the domain of mothers only.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We
will not drive around unnecessarily for teenagers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We will make decisions, best suited to our
needs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We will not stop, until our goals
are realised.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">But badges, are actually
where it</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">s all
at.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because let</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">s keep it real.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The chances of us moms actually being able to coordinate our schedules,
in between our running around after our kids, to ever have a meeting at all,
are rather slim.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So we</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">re left with badges.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Which in itself is not really a bad
thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Cause we all like ourselves a bit
of recognition, right?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So as for the badges,
here are the requirements:</span></div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"><u>Change Badge</u> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> this badge is one of the easiest
accomplishments and most moms of school going children, complete this badge
first.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It requires exact change given to
at least 2 offspring, 1 minute before getting out of the car at school.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mostly because the request for change is only
given, 1 minute before getting out of the car at school.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is fair to mention that the change
requirements must include coins and notes, and have to be placed in an envelope
or money bag.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Odd amounts are encouraged
</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> like
R26 and R17.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"><u>Barf Badge</u> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> the badge will only be awarded, after a
minimum of 5 vomit-on-mother-experiences.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>If vomit is in the hair of the mother, then the minimum requirement
drops down to 4.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If the vomit is in the
hair of the mother, whilst driving a car, and it gets on the upholstery and in
the gear lever mechanism, the minimum requirement drops down to 3.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If the vomit happens in a public place, like
a shop for example, on a busy Saturday morning, the minimum requirement drops
down to 2.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would like to point out at
this juncture that Pep Stores in Gansbaai will never be the same again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One of my kids did violent chunks in
Pep.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I still shudder at the memory.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As does the kind cleaning lady who helped us,
I</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">m
sure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And lastly, if the vomit
experience happens late at night on a friend</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">s Queen sized bed, after said friend has kindly
offered her bed, with her nicest duvet, for your kid to have a little kip on,
you graduate to an immediate Barf Badge </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> gold embossed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Especially if the last thing your kid ate was Nik-Naks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Enough said.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Sorry Thea.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"><u>Bean Badge</u> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> this badge is awarded to mothers who have
lovingly watered and nurtured their children</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">s science bean-growing experiment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Numerous times.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This badge goes to the mother who buys a
selection of mixed beans with every cycle of bean-growing experiments.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Said mother has an enviable selection of
packets of beans, all missing about 5 beans only, from butter beans, to
speckled, and red kidney beans too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"><u>School Project Badge</u> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> this badge is given to those mothers, who can
miraculously, whip up a school oral on the lesser spotted toad (amongst
others), in 5 minutes flat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Complete
with pictures.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Though they might be
grainy and very pixelated, and the yellow ink</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">s run dry, so the frog is looking decidedly
purple and unwell.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The very same mother,
might even be clever enough to save every single oral ever done, so that
subsequent children can recite the same drivel, in subsequent years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In extreme cases, this mother can be counted
on to con her 7 year old son that Goldilocks is a very masculine oral, and that
he should definitely go with it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Cause
she has the pictures already.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Though it
can be said that Goldilocks is looking a bit green around the gills (red ink
ran out).</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"><u>Sewing Badge</u> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> the sewing badge is given out to the rarest of
mothers </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> those
with emergency sewing skills.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Like
stapling a school hem in, minutes before depositing said kid into the car
before doing the morning school run.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Safety pins and paperclips are also essentially haberdashery tools for
this mom.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"><u>IOU Badge</u> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> this is also an easily attainable badge.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It requires that the mother borrows money
from her offspring.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Usually birthday
money.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The trick is to give the money
back before the next birthday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Offspring
are known to charge exorbitant interest rates.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>In a best case scenario, these are emergency loans only.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sort of quickly-nip-to-the-corner-café for a
loaf of bread, and rather pay cash than swipe a bank card for R11,50.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The banking charges are ridiculous.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But then again, to be fair, so are the
extortion-like interest rates from the kids</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">…</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">m good for it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I swear!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They know where I live.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"><u>Shoelace Badge</u> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> this mother is presented with a shoe lace
crises.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On a regular basis.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Who knows how they fray so easily?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The mother then takes to randomly chucking
shoes out of any person in the home</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">s cupboard, in order to make a quick-fix
plan.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The mother never actually
remembers to buy replacements.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So a
large majority of shoes belonging to any one person, is lace-less.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However if she does get replacements, the
laces are long enough to lace up Big-Foot</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">s shoes, if he ever wore any.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or short enough for the Tooth Mouse.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If he wore any too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In hindsight the mother is overly fond of
velcro shoes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or sandals.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And essentially the benefit of walking around
barefoot is not to be underestimated.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It
is very healthy and can be seen as medicinal as it enforces the child to get in
touch with mother earth, in an extremely tactile manner.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"><u>Doctor Badge</u> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> this badge is given to that mom who has a
deathly sick child.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the interest of the
health of her child, this mom takes her child to the doctor, and on occasion
even to the ER.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However these children
are known to undergo a remarkable, nay miraculous recovery, upon crossing the
threshold of the doctor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They become
chipper and active.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Pale no more.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Coughing abates and fevers subside.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Lethargy vanishes, and they are 100% happy
and healthy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Until you embarrassingly
leave the doctor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Minus any meds.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And you cross the threshold of your own
home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And said child coughs up a
lung.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And runs a fever of 42.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Occasionally, they even pull out the big
guns.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And projectile vomits.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In your hair.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Please read subsection 2 above.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>This mother also immediately qualifies for the Barf Badge.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Gold embossed.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"><u>Bowel Badge</u> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> this badge is often a prelude to the Doctor
Badge above.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Any indication from a child
that they are unwell, is treated with the same response from the mother, </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">“</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Have you tried making a poo yet?</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">”</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> This response is given irrespective of the
actual ailment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Albeit a sore tummy, a
headache, growing pains, a splinter, feeling dizzy, etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Bowel Badge is the mother</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">s first port of call for all illnesses.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Only once you have exhausted the Bowel
response, a suitable period of time has lapsed, and you</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">ve dipped into your home medicine kit, or you
really fear for your child</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">s
health, does the mother actually resort to taking her child to the Doctor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Read point above, namely the perils of the
Doctor Badge.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because this is a tricky
one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Be very, very sure, before you risk
humiliation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One you</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">ll be charged for by your friendly health care
provider.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At above medical aid tariffs.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"><u>Leftover Badge</u> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> this badge is awarded to mothers who can
miraculously con her family into eating leftovers, with a few minor adjustments.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A tweak here and there usually does the
trick.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Personally I can highly recommend
the addition of cheese.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or a sauce.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or even better, a cheese sauce.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"><u>Bedtime Badge</u> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> this badge is given to the very wily-est of
mothers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The ones who have turned
forward the clocks in her house and have told her kids that it</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">s bedtime already.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hey, it</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">s survival of the fittest some times.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">s me or them</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">…</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">And if I</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">m not here, who</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">s going to staple up their hems?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or write their orals.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"><u>Homework Badge</u> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> also an easily attainable badge.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I find these very easy to accomplish at the
beginning of the school year or new term.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>When kids have to make a cover page for all of their subjects.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All 11 subjects.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have coloured in my fair share of world
maps</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">…</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">
Homework Badge moms are also dab hands at scouring old magazines for pictures
their kids should be finding.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of healthy
food.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And dairy products.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And domestic animals.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And anything that starts with Lucy
Lamplady.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The benefit of moms helping
and pretending that they</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">re their
kids, is that neatness goes out of the window.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Look, when you</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">re
pretending to be 8, you can</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">t colour
in perfectly between the lines now can you?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And scissor cutting skills take years to accomplish.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Homework Badge moms are also known for cutting
certain essential corners.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Like
bypassing the whole magazine route entirely.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And just printing the necessary pictures off the internet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However the blue ink running out and all of
your deciduous tree pictures, looking a bit red is just one of those things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Like it or lump it.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"><u>Lunchbox Badge</u> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> now it can be said that most moms do strive to
pack a nice lunch box.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But there is the
odd occasion, it just doesn</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">t
happen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When the snacky-treat portion of
the lunchbox is 7 sad peanuts at the bottom of the packet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And the fruit is in fact, not a fruit at all,
but a hastily peeled carrot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The trick
with this, is the ensure that the lunch box is popped into their school bag in
the morning, before they have a chance to peep.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Because if they spot the contents of said sad lunch box before you</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">ve even left home, you</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">re going to get an earful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I prefer to think upon these occasionally sad
lunch box days, as a surprise </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">“</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">treat</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">”</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Best
reserved for a grand reveal at school, during break time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When you</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">re not within ear shot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Cause here</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">s the thing </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> usually they forget about it by the time they
get home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And just think </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> it</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">s actually an exercise in delayed
gratification.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because the next day</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">s average-by-regular-standards lunchbox, will
be stellar by comparison.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"><u>Music Tolerance Badge</u> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> this badge can be earned with kids of all
ages.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This badge is mainly applicable on
car journeys.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hence a confined
space.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With no escape possible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With small kids, the tolerance to repetitive
renditions of </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">“</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">The
wheels on the bus</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">”</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">, is
tested amongst others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As well as other </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">“</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">uplifting</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">”</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> and never ending little ditties, like </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">“</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">10 green bottles</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">”</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After
a while, one graduates up to </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">“</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">delightful</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">”</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> and charming children CD choices, like Crazy
Frog.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have no words.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yet now, I long for those days.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>From personal experience with my 3, all car
journeys are an auditory nightmare.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>From
Hip-Hop and R&B, to hectic Rap, Dubstep, Trance, etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And yip, no one can agree on the same choice
of music.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">ve resorted to rewarding myself on the hour and
half hour with requests to urgently listen to the news.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Something I have no real interest in at
all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is a much needed reprieve from
doef-doef-doef at times.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"><u>Countless Counting Badge</u> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> the recipient of this badge has spent
countless hours of her life, counting senseless achievements.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This mother can never regain this stolen time
again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is forever gone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Counting includes random </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">“</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">achievements</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">”</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> like, </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">“</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Please count how long I can do a handstand</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">”</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">, and other treasures like, </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">“</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Please count how long I can hold my breath
under water</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">”</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">, amidst
other senseless accomplishments.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Like
laps swam in a pool, amount of underpants worn together, amount of hair ponies
worn at one time.</span></li>
<li><u><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">I-Can</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span></u><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"><u>t-Find-It Badge</u> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> this is a very well deserved badge.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Given to mothers of blind children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Although said children have 20/20
vision.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is not so much a lack of
seeing, as it is a lack of energy to look.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And look actively.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These children
are not capable of moving anything in their search for something they</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">ve lost.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Zip.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nada.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nothing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Rulers are always at the bottom of school bags, because they didn</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">t look deep enough.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Pencils are hiding underneath books.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The sandals or shoes are where they always
are.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the cupboard.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Imagine that!</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"><u>Finish It or Pincher Badge</u> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">– </span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">this badge is also an easily attainable
badge.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is given to any mother who has
stubbornly been unable to resist temptation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Despite knowing the obvious pitfalls.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The mother who has finished the last 3 bacon kips left over in the
school lunch box.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Who sneaks sweets out
of the kids</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> sweets
packet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Who pops a few nuts into her gob
before packing the rest in the snack box.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Who pinches 4 fries from the McDonalds Happy Meal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Who steals</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">…</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"><u>Laundry Badge</u> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> this is an arduous badge to complete.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It demands sorting through the laundry
basket.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kids have an inherent inability
to differentiate between dirty laundry, laundry that needs ironing, and laundry
they just don</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">t feel
like packing away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Daughters are
particularly deft at this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Especially
whilst getting ready for a big event, like a school dance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Numerous outfit changes are tried on and
paraded in front of the mirror.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Piles of
clothes heap up in the fray.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Anything,
not deemed suitable to wear to the specific event, is relegated to the laundry
basket.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Where the mother has the great
joy or sorting out the piles.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Into
dirty, needing an iron, and just needing to be packed away.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"><u>Lego Badge</u> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">– </span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">this badge is given to any mother who has
risked mortal injury, by stepping on a block of Lego.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Barefoot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>In the dark.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Whilst carrying
something fragile.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Please note that
though this badge is predominantly awarded for
Lego-based-foot-injuries-taking-weeks-to-heal, it is not exclusive to Lego
blocks alone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Barbie</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">s shoes are equally effective.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And damaging.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Skinny cow.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"><u>De-tangler Badge</u> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> all De-tangler Badges are golden.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And embossed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>With gold filigree.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They are also
slightly larger than other badges.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Because they</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">re more
special.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This entails brushing out a rat</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">s tail of hair.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Particularly at the end of a school holiday, after loads of swimming and
sticky sunblock residue has gathered on said rat</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">s tail.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>De-tangler Badges are best accomplished with the benefit of ear
muffs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Alternatively, the use of
earphones, pumping out loud reggae music is recommended.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Only those mothers with the very strongest
resolves and extreme measures of self-restraint, are able to withstand the
temptation of occasionally wacking the rat</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">s tail recipient with a brush.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Apparently this is possible, but no reported
sightings of this achievement have been recorded.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, I</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">m not saying it</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">s impossible per se.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just highly improbable.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"><u>Why Badge</u> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> the Why Badge is one of the most trying badges
to get.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">s not that it</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">s difficult.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">s just
that it</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">s annoying.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Because you hear the question, </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">“</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Why</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">”</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">, so often.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Why?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, who can tell
really.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because I bloody said so!</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"><u>Senseless Information Badge</u> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> in similar vein to the Why Badge, the
Senseless Information Badge is also a trying accomplishment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It entails being bombarded, constantly, with
senseless, unnecessary information.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Like, </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">“</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Did you
know that Rottweilers are stronger than Maltese Poodles</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">”</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">, and </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">“</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">If you lick someone</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">s elbow they can</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">t feel it</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">”</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">, as well as </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">“</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Sia (random singer) never shows her face in
public</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">”</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All information you are none the poorer
for.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Having never heard it ever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In your life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>A never ending barrage of things you could quite happily have spent your
entire life not knowing, and not caring about.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Even worse, you can</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">t simply
ignore the information.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Dialogue is
encouraged, so you have to temporarily at least, store the drivel.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Personally, I see it as an exercise in short
term memory recall.</span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
</ul>
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<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Tomorrow I shall expand on the badge requirements for Level 2 - Intermediate... For now, I suggest you stew on the options available to you above, and make a list of those badges you would like to qualify for first.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
</div>
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From the birds and the bees to family treeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14300555924899491187noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098604292442392707.post-20780465290478631832016-01-18T15:38:00.002+02:002016-01-18T15:38:26.259+02:00Albert Frost - The Dark Prince of Blues with his Fabulous Frau's Frost<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<u><a href="http://www.albertfrost.com/" target="_blank">Albert Frost</a> - The Dark Prince of Blues with his Fabulous Frau's Frost</u><br />
16 January 2016<br />
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">So when your
brother is the Dark Prince of Blues, and he asks you to join the family
business, one doesn</span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">t simply
say, </span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">“</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Yes!</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">”</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">. The appropriate response is, </span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">“</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Hell YES!!!</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">”</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">.
Followed by, </span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">“</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">B</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">tw </span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">– </span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">can my first
pay check be an old guitar case please?</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">”</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> I</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">ve got this really cool project I want to do</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">…</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">So this is
me. Nerdy older sister of Mr Blues himself. Truth be told, I was
the musical genius of the family. Until my annoying little brother picked
up a guitar at the age of 13. The rest, as they say, is history.
And what a happy day that was. Chances are I wouldn</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">t have been able to garner the same status as
the legendary <a href="https://www.facebook.com/albert.frost.music?fref=ts" target="_blank">Albert Frost</a>. Cause let</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">s keep it real - nobody was ever going to call
me the Dark Princess of the Piano, with my moving rendition of Fur Elise</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">…</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">
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<span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">We are an
exceptionally musical family. <span style="color: black;">And no, I</span></span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">m not just saying it. Apart
from a plethora of cousins, all playing in various bands and giving music
lessons and the like, I</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">m talking professional musicians here as well. My
brother-in-law, the legendary <a href="http://www.robinauld.co.za/" target="_blank">Robin Auld</a>, is but one example. Robin needs
no introduction. One of the most talented singer/songwriters ever.
We</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">ve
all been huge fans, since forever. In fact, my sister was a fan first
too. Before deciding to marry him. All for our benefit you
see. At our family Xmas concerts, he plays the guitar. Along with
my brother, my stepdad Rob Nagel (from the <a href="https://www.facebook.com/thebluesbroers/?fref=ts" target="_blank">Blues Broers</a> fame </span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">–</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> another professional muso), and a
whole posse of cousins. Even my grandfather joins the fray.
Personally, my youngest is a keen drummer. Yip, at times our Xmas concert
mimics a mini-music fest. Complete with mosh-pit (okay, just kidding </span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">–</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> but my granny has to be held back
at times from doing stage dives).<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Apart
from being musical, our family is </span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">a large one
too. No, I don</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">t think you
understand. I</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">m talking
seriously beeeg! Just this last Xmas, we had an </span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">“</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">intimate</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">”</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> family
gathering with a sit-down Xmas meal<span style="color: black;"> </span></span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">–</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> for 37 of the closest family members.
Unfortunately, not all were able to join... There</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">s actually more of us. Of the 37, I</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">d say conservatively speaking, about 33 are
proficient <span style="color: black; mso-themecolor: text1;">in</span> at least
one instrument. Some more than one. And as for the rest?
Those measly 4? Well, they</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">re
frustrated musicians. And great music lovers. And simply all of
them sing in the shower.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">My
background is simple. While younger brother sets off to conquer the
world, one guitar riff at a time, older sister studies. Gets
married. Has a trilogy of offspring, and works. Occasionally for
others, but mostly she has her own businesses. However, she has this
dirty little secret. Which is actually not a secret at all. She</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">s swopped her regular black and white piano
keyboard, for a keyboard of another kind. In her spare time, she writes a
blog. A delicious, delectable little pastime, giving her great joy.
And quite accidentally, she succeeds in getting a little audience. A
rather surprising turn of events. Of late, older sister, has been working
fulltime, whilst continuing to run her own business. Leaving her little
time for her writing passions. But fortunes have changed, and jobs
too. Which brings us right back to square one. Older sister now
finds herself heading off into a completely new job direction, leaving her more
time to blog once more. In addition, she</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">s been roped into the family business </span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">–</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> Albert Frost Productions. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">But is she
the only family member involved? Hell no! Albert Frost has a secret
weapon </span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">–</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> our
Mom. A woman, so fond of surnames, she has a few. The inimitable, marvellously
magical Maggie-Lombard-Loubser-Frost-Nagel. Maggie has been doing music
and the music scene since her wayward teenage years, with our father, <a href="https://www.facebook.com/frankfrost27/?fref=ts" target="_blank">Frank DFrost</a>, and his numerous bands<span style="color: black;"> (Black Frost and also
the Blues Broers </span></span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">–</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> cause you see my mom</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">s 1<sup>st</sup> and 2<sup>nd</sup> husbands were best friends,
and played in the same band <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">#truestory
#notjoking #keepitinthefamily</i> – actually, truth be told, my brother played
in the very same Blues Broers – with both his dad and his stepdad at the same
time – though they weren’t both married to our mom at the same time – that would’ve
been even weirder)</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">.
Maggie is well known and loved in the music industry<span style="color: black; mso-themecolor: text1;"> -</span> for her knowledge, skill and passion<span style="color: black;">. She has an incredible grasp</span> of the intricate
ins and outs of SA music<span style="color: black;"> and she quite simply knows
everybody out there. The woman is a walking, breathing, living
legend. </span>She is a veteran when it comes to arranging music
festivals and is revered and adored by all.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">So, exactly
where does this leave our hero, The Dark Prince of Blues? Well, it leaves
him rather nicely. Cause Albert and the Frau</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _MailOriginal;"><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">s Frost make an unbeatable team.
Conquering fans - one song, <span style="color: black; mso-themecolor: text1;">one
riff, </span>and one gig at a time. </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">
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The Fabulous Frau's Frost - we're always laughing together - a favourite pastime</div>
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My favourite gals!</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_EnVwJ0K0xLaYX3MwGJHbJ2bDhE0TplcdyEN7sGEUWQ0sioCoeJTjwghMwy_Z_OrxezDW4uJ_KJi0P5IoQilnYdjfCn33xMo2oCPWyOG9nD8S-vD_Oez89vOUAPLlLsI5rsbloipAoBc/s1600/Albert+Frost_05.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_EnVwJ0K0xLaYX3MwGJHbJ2bDhE0TplcdyEN7sGEUWQ0sioCoeJTjwghMwy_Z_OrxezDW4uJ_KJi0P5IoQilnYdjfCn33xMo2oCPWyOG9nD8S-vD_Oez89vOUAPLlLsI5rsbloipAoBc/s320/Albert+Frost_05.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Aaahhh! Best brother in the whole world. Technically, he's my only brother. But, be that as it may - he's a good egg.</div>
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A trio of family muso's - Albert, stepdad Rob (fondly called Daya) and brother-in-law Robin (fondly called Old Sock by my sister - for undisclosed reasons)</div>
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<u></u><br />From the birds and the bees to family treeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14300555924899491187noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098604292442392707.post-63739301934497274112015-05-19T21:59:00.003+02:002015-05-19T21:59:57.223+02:00Grey's Anatomy<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
<u>Grey's Anatomy</u><br />
19 May 2015<br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"></span><br />
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";"><em>(I wrote this blog nearly a year ago, and somehow never
managed to finish it off and publish it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>So here it goes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A bit late.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Still brought a smile to my lips when I read
it though.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thought you might just feel
the same.)<o:p></o:p></em></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">So I’ve been doing some commissioned hand sewing work for a
friend of mine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The most magnificent
goodies.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And much as I’d love to share
pics, I simply can’t.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We’ve got markets
starting this week, pretty much running straight through until Christmas, and
for now, we’d like to keep the products under wraps.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">Anyway, I do most of the sewing at night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sitting in front of the TV after supper,
while my family is all around me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And
then, once the kids go off to bed, Grant and I tend to watch a mini-series
together, before he heads off to bed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And that’s when I come out to play.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">My house is all quiet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Nobody demanding my time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My
attention.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No one is hungry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Needs help with their homework.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Needs me to quiz them for a test.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Help them with an oral or a school
project.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or drop them off somewhere.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">I have some creative time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It is pain staking, detailed work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But it is beautiful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And super
rewarding.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At the end of every evening,
I can look back and see the evidence of my night’s work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">But here’s the thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I enjoy some company whilst working.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Undemanding company.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">And it is at this exact point, that I invite the Surgical
Interns doing their fellowship at Seattle Grace Hospital, to enter my
lounge.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I’m not really all that
classist.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m quite happy to invite the
Attending’s, as well as the Chief himself too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>All in the interest of increasing my medical knowledge of course …<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">And let me be straight with you – I’ve been doing A LOT OF
SEWING and late night work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Which means
that I’m quite happily whizzing my way through the whole Grey’s Anatomy series
for about the 3<sup><span style="font-size: x-small;">rd</span></sup> time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
joy in “watching” something like this so many times is multiple.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Firstly, I know it already.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So I can but merely listen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t need to make eye contact with
them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And they seem to be quite happy
with my divided attention.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They’re
remarkably undemanding.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Secondly, there
are no nasty surprises.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I mostly know
who’s going to be offed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Who’s going to
pull through.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And who’s going to become
romantically involved with whom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Thirdly, I can verbally talk along in some cases, as I know the
lines.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is rather scary, as I’ve
clearly done A LOT of time, doing Grey’s.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Fourthly, I really love the characters.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Some more than others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Dr
McDreamy is dreamy indeed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is rather
nasty I know, but occasionally I plot on how I’m going to fly over to Seattle,
knock off Meredith Grey, and nab him all for myself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">However, this does present a rather tricky problem.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These doctors are rather good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And given the fact that I’ve watched 8
seasons already (I know – I’m a few behind, but I’m savouring them before indulging
and watching), they’ve covered a lot of medical ground.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Loads of extreme cases, covering just about
every medical emergency, mystery and illness known to man.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In fact, some might probably not be known,
anywhere apart from at Seattle Grace.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The bottom line, is that this means, that these good docs have a fair
amount of experience, with dealing with things out of the ordinary.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’d really have to work hard at making it
look like an accident, in case they bust me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And in addition, I’d have to make sure it’s damn near incurable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In case they save her in the end.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">Anyway, I’m getting distracted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The thing is this, I’m pretty sure I’d make a
rather awesome surgeon round about now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I could intubate and resuscitate with the best of them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But the trick is this – in what area should I
specialise?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Should I go with
Cardiothoracics, Orthopaedics, Neuro, Paediatrics or something else that ends
in an “ics”?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That is the question.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">I find myself randomly wanting to say phrases like, “Push
three of Epi”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or, “Run a central
line”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even though there is no cause
whatsoever for saying any of this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nor the
need to perform one of these procedures either.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>At an ignorant and idiotic driver in rush-hour traffic, I’d like to say,
“Do you want me to give you a subdural bleed with a midline shift?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or, “Don’t make me get out of my car, it is
sure to cause Ventricular Arrhythmia”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>So many, many choices.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I
haven’t even touched on a Pulmonary Embolus yet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nor a Dissected Thoracic Aorta.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And don’t even get me started on the marvels
of plastics.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I could happily rearrange a
face or two…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">I’m basically convinced, that if I put my mind to it, and
put my sewing down for long enough, to give the study of medicine my undivided
attention, I’d be a sure fire candidate for the Harper Avery Award.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The one that only exists on TV that is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In Grey’s Anatomy Land.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But alas, sewing beckons.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s fun.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It’s creative.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And there’s far
less blood.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Which actually suits me
best.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">Which doesn’t mean that I can’t indulge my Grey’s side,
every so often. Particularly with my children.</span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">Cause in the afternoons, when I do my rounds, going from bedroom to
bedroom, with my clipboard clasped against my chest, ticking off what homework
they’ve done, and must still do, I can threaten them with obscure medical
procedures.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some of them even sounding
vaguely plausible…</span></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";"></span> </div>
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";"><o:p></o:p></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">And then when they take a long time to do something, or follow an instruction, I have to physically restrain myself from barking, “STAT!!!”, at them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Such fun – particularly when they flinch!)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div>
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";"> </span><br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">
Denny Duquette - Oh. My. Word.</div>
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McDreamy - enough to put anyone into cardiac arrest</div>
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I rest my case</div>
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Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!</div>
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Seriously?!?!?</div>
<br />From the birds and the bees to family treeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14300555924899491187noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098604292442392707.post-26028297582601906772015-02-12T10:13:00.003+02:002015-02-12T10:13:52.687+02:00I worry about important stuff - like traffic circles<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdxUEUg-_Iy53dwm7sVwD3puhJDupvtrWYyBdQEpO3YKdE4Za-e7eM_lmyOmVR9ev3BplljZuOPU-WWswSm0vAHs6-OUq0brilFomqM2-dmPeGvx1-E8r5DC-sQ3wMAGwhqOTs3gQFn7Q/s1600/Circle+1.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdxUEUg-_Iy53dwm7sVwD3puhJDupvtrWYyBdQEpO3YKdE4Za-e7eM_lmyOmVR9ev3BplljZuOPU-WWswSm0vAHs6-OUq0brilFomqM2-dmPeGvx1-E8r5DC-sQ3wMAGwhqOTs3gQFn7Q/s1600/Circle+1.png" /></a></div>
<br />
<u>I worry about important stuff - like traffic circles</u><br />
12 February 2015<br />
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">Never let it be said that I’m not a deep thinker.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Someone who gives thought to the world and
how she works.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">Now I might appear to be all airy, fairy and fluff on the
top.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But deep inside, my mind is
twisting and turning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thinking deep
thoughts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">Never mind the horrors of famine, 3<sup><span style="font-size: x-small;">rd</span></sup> world
debt, testicular cancer, our failing education system, the disaster that is
Eskom (our most unreliable source of no power), rife unemployment and the fact
that I can’t find a download for The Walking Dead Season 5.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">No sirree Bob.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Apart
from all of the above, I have even deeper thoughts…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">And, quite naturally, they involve double lane traffic
circles.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I kid you not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">Of all the ridiculous things to give energy too!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yet, there it is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Double bloody lane, traffic bloody circles.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">Cause here’s the thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>A one lane traffic circle, is rather easy to traverse.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You merely yield to the right.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wait your turn.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And drive around the flat looking fried egg
in the road.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And take the turn-off you
need.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Easy peasy lemon squeezie.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In fact, I find traffic circles rather
charming.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Really helps with traffic
flow, and it’s a fair and equal system.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Courtesy is called upon, and if everyone plays by the rules, it’s great.</span></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";"><o:p></o:p></span> </div>
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</span><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">And then, some blithering eejit, decided to think out of
the box.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And “invented” the double lane
traffic circle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Blithering eejit indeed.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">It’s actually a no-brainer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The rules are as such.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The person
on the outside lane, can turn off at any exit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Yet, the person on the inside lane, may not.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">SO HOW DO THEY EVER LEAVE THE CIRCLE???<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">Do they simply go round and round until they run out of
petrol?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Do they eventually go completely
mental from getting dizzy being stuck in their perpetual spinning cycle?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And do only the young, brave and foolish,
eventually risk “breaking the law”, as well as life and limb, to try
and exit the circle?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">Because I’m pretty much convinced.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That right at this moment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In fact at any given time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are simply hosts of dithering old
dotties and shrinking grey-haired men, wearing hats and peering over their
steering wheels.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Who’ve been stuck in
the double lane traffic circle, at the Mall closest to them, since Wednesday
morning, when the popped down for the Pensioner’s breakfast special at the
Wimpy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">If only I worried about real stuff.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Like our Jacob Zuma’s State of the Nation
address today, the state of our economy, the escalating crime, failing health
care, and the fact that I can’t find any nice big mangoes at the moment…</span></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";"><o:p></o:p></span> </div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdxUEUg-_Iy53dwm7sVwD3puhJDupvtrWYyBdQEpO3YKdE4Za-e7eM_lmyOmVR9ev3BplljZuOPU-WWswSm0vAHs6-OUq0brilFomqM2-dmPeGvx1-E8r5DC-sQ3wMAGwhqOTs3gQFn7Q/s1600/Circle+1.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a> </span></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
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</span><br />
From the birds and the bees to family treeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14300555924899491187noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098604292442392707.post-9724217642113944812015-01-05T23:10:00.001+02:002015-01-05T23:10:07.930+02:00Amongst other small gifts, I also gave my kids tooth decay for Xmas<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
<u>Amongst other small gifts, I also gave my kids tooth decay for Xmas</u><br />
5 January 2015<br />
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">Christmas stocking fillers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They can be problematic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Fun, yet
one has to put a bit of thought into it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">Generally we give our kids one big present for Xmas.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Something super special, and perhaps a bit
pricey.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A real Xmas present gift.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe some huge box under the Christmas tree,
tempting them mercilessly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And causing
them to pick up said box, perhaps shake it a bit, and turning the guessing
before the time, into almost as much fun as the actual gift itself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">But then, we also do stocking fillers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And the thing with stocking fillers is this –
the gift must be small enough to fit into the stocking (ideally - though
occasionally, I’ve plopped a gift on the floor just underneath the stocking),
and affordable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Cause here’s the thing –
I have to fill up three kids stockings for them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">So this is my dilemma – how to find something marginally nice
costing between R5 – R50 for three kids, when you need to do at least a few
gifts in each stocking to give it some body, is rather challenging.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I scour the markets before the time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Buying silly bracelets, cheap make-up, balls,
water balloons, swimming goggles, chocolates, etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hey, they got
lucky.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Growing up, my mom was sneaky
enough to fill our Xmas Stockings with stationary for the next year at
school.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Though possibly, her thinking
process was inspired.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Pens, pencils,
erasers, rulers and pencil sharpeners are small enough to fit into a stocking,
and do help to give it some shape.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Though there were treat items too. (Thanx Mommy!)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">Food items are also always hugely popular.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I tend to try and put something unusual in
it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Perhaps an odd nice sweetie or two,
they wouldn’t normally get.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Still one
year, they each got a block of Mozzarella cheese – their favourite.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Another year, they each got a bottle of
olives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yet another, a tin of condensed
milk.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So yes, I try to think out of the
box.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">And then this year, I decided to veer off the track a
bit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In addition to giving the kids
water balloons, comics, balls, bracelets, etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I thought I’d up my game a bit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And give them something unusual.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">So I went with tooth decay.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">Each of them got their very own bottle of Nutella chocolate
spread.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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</span><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";"><o:p> </o:p></span><br />
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">Much to their delight.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They were charmed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They’ve kept
their jars in their rooms, and have resorted to initially dipping fingers, and
now long stemmed soda spoons, to get some chocolate gooey goodness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They’ve also proven to be rather resourceful,
exhibiting some as yet unwitnessed before culinary skills… Adding Nutella to
Hot Chocolate or Milo.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even as an Ice
Cream topping.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or better yet – straight
from the jar.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">A lot can be deducted about my kids, from their approach to
their jar of Nutella.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">Luke indulged in thick lashings of Nutella on fresh white
bread.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Stirred into his hot
chocolate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Dribbled over Ice Cream.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Self-indulgent spoiling – just for him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">Amber shares with everyone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Her numerous friends and cousins.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Inviting everyone to grab a spoon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Making sarmies for all.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">Cole showed his usual lack of self-restraint.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No time to wait for a spoon, instead fingers
stretched to the max.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s not a great
advertisement for the merits of delayed gratification.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">Anyway, the delight my simple bottle of R28 per child has
given them, has been a joy to behold.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It
really is the simple things in life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">Tooth decay and impending dentist bills aside, I could’ve
save myself a fortune in expensive Xmas presents.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or aimlessly shopping around for stocking
fillers.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">I should rather just have knuckled down, and bought them
each their own crate…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">
Cole with some of his loot - delighted, happy little boy</div>
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My beautiful, beautiful tree - filled with many decorations collected over many, many years</div>
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From the birds and the bees to family treeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14300555924899491187noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098604292442392707.post-80040887741964620602015-01-01T23:58:00.002+02:002015-01-01T23:58:36.092+02:00Fare thee well 2014, and hello 2015!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
<u>Fare thee well 2014, and hello 2015!</u><br />
1 January 2015<br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">Oh my word!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Firstly, huge big apologies for being so
scarce.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m missing my writing
terribly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I started a new job towards
the end of September, and am finding it increasingly difficult to juggle work,
my family, my home, my Jumping Castle business, daily walks and blogging.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And thus walking and blogging have taken a
bit of a backseat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And oh how I miss it!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">It is amazing how fulfilling
and creative writing is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How it opens a
space in my head and truly taps into my core.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Making me take stock of my life, on a daily basis.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">The end of an old year and
the dawn of a new year, is also traditionally the time when others take stock
of their lives too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>People reflect on
the year that has been.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some set goals
for the year to be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is also a time to
ponder.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To give thanks for the good that
was.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And wave goodbye to the awful that’s
passed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">For me, 2014 was a
challenging year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve taken a few
knocks along the way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some hard.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some even harder.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Others a mere blimp, yet they caused ripples
nonetheless.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But there was great joy
too.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">My motto has always been to
not dwell on the things and situations that have brought me sorrow, discomfort
and pain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’d far rather embrace the
good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Rejoice in the wonder, the magic,
the best bits of life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">For me, 2014 shall always be
remembered as the year I fell majorly in love with my Grantie again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In a really big way.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">We hit a few doozies in
2014.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Faced a few obstacles.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But we’ve grown stronger.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Closer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Become more connected.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Enjoyed one
another more.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">I’ve realised that he will
always have my back.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I have his.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Be my staunchest supporter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And that we make a really, really good team.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">And thus, I’m not setting any
major goals for 2015.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I just want to
come out at the end of it all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And think
to myself, that despite the many ups and downs, I’ve still got my Grantie.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">And in my book that’s great.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">Perhaps at the end of it all,
life is not about the experiences you’ve had.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The places you’ve been.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The things
you’ve accumulated.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The stuff you’ve
done.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">It’s about the people that
have joined you on your journey.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I’ve
clearly picked a great crew.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<a href="https://www.facebook.com/FromTheBirdsAndTheBeesToFamilyTrees?fref=ts" target="_blank">Please click and LIKE on Facebook - Thanx!</a><br />
<br />
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From the birds and the bees to family treeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14300555924899491187noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098604292442392707.post-78736109215470185032014-11-30T19:31:00.002+02:002014-11-30T19:31:52.536+02:00Sometimes my computer laughs at me<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0RWzHWUv1eJ86M1_QW8ZBImefZaqYn79fbblZrKhGI5hRYJDZUsCsYkcfOmhJLXgubdj5jTi0-Nbj_rtfjNC6Hs6OhDeVI5Q2v9TzUF1dh717heYNC-dPVdwE2IxgvRCCl0W0CfJVUig/s1600/images97I1PKXZ.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0RWzHWUv1eJ86M1_QW8ZBImefZaqYn79fbblZrKhGI5hRYJDZUsCsYkcfOmhJLXgubdj5jTi0-Nbj_rtfjNC6Hs6OhDeVI5Q2v9TzUF1dh717heYNC-dPVdwE2IxgvRCCl0W0CfJVUig/s1600/images97I1PKXZ.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<u>Sometimes my computer laughs at me</u><br />
30 November 2014<br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">No, I promise you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It’s true.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not only does she
laugh at me, she sniggers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And
gloats.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Most unbecomingly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">It is a true measure of man, not how he reacts in defeat,
but in triumph.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And my computer, is a
mean winner.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A bully.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A show-off.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Of the very worst kind.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">She confounds me at turns.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And frustrates me at others.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">She delights in confusing me, and finds sadistic joy and
pleasure in thwarting me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At every click.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">What makes it even worse, is that she’s in cahoots.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With my internet connection.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They form a team.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">It’s like they have an agreement and have secret meetings
while I’m sleeping.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Plotting my demise.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">When I most need my internet connection, then my computer
plays Robin to its Batman.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Causing double
confusion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They even have capes,
disguised as metres and metres of twisting roping cables and wires.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">It is amazing, how a simple, fairly small, square and
rectangular black box, can be so perplexing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">I should be its master.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Not the other way around.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">Sometimes, when I’m near to reaching breakthrough or
breaking point, they haul in another evil henchman.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My computer speakers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">On paper, it is an easy fix.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Surely.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Power on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Power off.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Follow all of the cables from the one source
to the next.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Check everything is plugged
in and secure.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">However, I suspect it is easier untangling melted cheese
from a pizza, than separating wires.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">At times like this, I resort to a higher power – THE HUSBAND.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">With a sigh, he is usually able to fix most things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Occasionally accompanied by a shaken head, and
loads of mumbling at my technological ignorance.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">I was having a particularly trying
computer/internet/speaker day the other day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>When I decided to call it quits for a bit, until the oracle (THE
HUSBAND) arrived home from work to fix, THE PROBLEM.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">I thought I’d be industrious.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Start an early supper.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Easy-peasy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Got the goodies, did all the prep, popped the food in the oven.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">It took my about an hour to realise that there was no
tantalising aroma emerging from my kitchen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">I finally joined the dots – power failure in the day, meant
that my stove went back to factory settings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Stubbornly she confuses to heat up and cook (her very purpose in
existing), until I set her clock.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">Yes, it is rather trying.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>My stove has a built-in digital clock.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Complete with flashing red numbers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And I must admit, that nice though this feature is, I don’t really use
her for the express purpose of telling the time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I found it rather debilitating trying to
strap her to my wrist.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And wall mounting
her also seemed a bit of a chore.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In addition,
plonking her next to my bed, so that I could use her as an alarm clock, was a
bit impractical.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Firstly, as a bedside
table she was a bit high.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was really
difficult to balance my nightly glass of water on the gas plates.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And the gas bottle at the back, meant that I had
to have the gas bottle under the bed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Which
meant that the bed was skew and I kept on rolling into Grant at night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Also resorting to cooking in the bedroom was
difficult.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The food splatters on my
white duvet was most unbecoming, and I found using my bed as a kitchen counter
presented its own set of challenges.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">Hence I have a wrist watch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Actually I have a few.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I also
have a wall clock.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Actually I have a few
of those too.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">And thus I had to wait for THE HUSBAND to come home, to set
the stove clock, as I couldn’t find the manual.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Or figure it out on my own.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">And I swear – as I forlornly walked out of my kitchen,
defeated, I could’ve bet I heard my stove snigger.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And laugh at me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She might even have pointed a finger.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or an an element or oven dish my way.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">Even worse – once THE HUSBAND came home, they both shook
their heads.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">We ate supper rather late that night.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">And finally after supper and my once-more-restored
computer-internet-speakers-situation, I decided to lick my wounds a bit, and reflect on my day, by sitting down to a bit of TV.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">Only to be confronted by about 7 giggling remote controls.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And so I rather read a book instead…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
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From the birds and the bees to family treeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14300555924899491187noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098604292442392707.post-75720471772186473052014-10-25T18:36:00.003+02:002014-10-25T22:40:06.710+02:00The Lavatory Retriever<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
<u>The Lavatory Retriever</u><br />
25 October 2014<br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">I saw this on Facebook this morning, and I nearly had a
coronary.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I thought it was absolutely
hysterical!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">Dog – truly man’s best friend and saviour.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">I think this is so funny, because it happens.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To pretty much all of us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At least once in our lives.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">For some, it is the only wake-up we need.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Permanently teaching us to forever more
check, ensure and prepare.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">Safety first!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">As a mom, I’ve had to fling a roll in the loo far too many
times to mention.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And depending on the
severity of the problem, I’ve had to resort to passing them through the crack
of the door with tongs too.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">This normally happens in response to a severe call of
distress.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nay impending panic.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">As a mom, you get to know your children’s calls.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">When they’re babies, you can hear the difference between an
“I’m hungry”, “I’m dirty”, “I’m tired”, “I’m hurting”, and an “I’m just really
bored and want to spend some time with you while you’re holding me”, kind of
cry.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">And I confirm, that now that my kids are bigger, the same
still holds true.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Though their calls are
different.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And unlike babies, who are
left to resort, merely to tears, my kids resort to loud bellows of
“MoOooOooOmmmmMmYyYYyyyYyYyyYyyeeeeeEeEEeeeEeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">And the distressed call for loo paper, while they’re
sitting on the bog, has a unique sound, all of its own.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">In general, kids of all ages, take a special delight in
calling their moms.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Usually loudly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Often repetitively.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mostly unnecessarily.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">At times, I truly try to ignore mine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I really do.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">I find loud music helps.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Or pretending I’m busy with an important phone call.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Perhaps I’m phoning the department of…of…of shoe
laces.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or fridge magnets.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">Then there’s the alternative.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When you simply push any buttons on your
phone, pretend to listen to a caller on the other end, whilst simultaneously clicking
a pen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In-out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In-out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>In-out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This works even better,
when you’re holding a clip board.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And
you’re making a list.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">Just saying.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
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