From the birds and the bees, to family trees.: Move over Brangelina

Wednesday 8 May 2013

Move over Brangelina

Move over Brangelina
8 May 2013

Celeb couple names. They do make me laugh. I mean seriously! Who thinks up this kind of stuff?

Well, I suppose that would be people like me. People with vivid imaginations, who occasionally find themselves with dead time on their hands. You know dead time. Like when you’re driving in the car and you’re talking to yourself in your head. Or when you’re sitting outside school, waiting to pick your kids up and you’re talking to yourself in your head. Or when you’re standing in the queue at the shops and you’re talking to yourself in your head. Or while you’re standing at the stove, stirring a cheese sauce and you’re talking to yourself in your head. Or while you’re…..

Please, please, please tell me that I am not the only person who does this? That I am not a certifiable lunatic, just waiting for the men in white coats to come and fetch me? Because, truth be told, I’ve been known to have the odd debate too, never mind conversation. The advantage being that I normally win. Yay, me!!!

Hey, just look at that! I successfully managed to distract myself. Again! Not, yay!

Anyway, so back to celeb names. Brangelina. For real? Bennifer. Kimye. TomKat (actually that’s quite a cute one). The supply seems endless.

And what with finding myself stuck in traffic this morning, whilst doing the school run, me, myself and I had an awesome conversation about celeb names. In my head of course.

So, if I hook up with Brad, we’ve got quite a few options. We could go with Brelene – though it does sound rather alarmingly like Brylcreem and kills the joy for me a bit. Alternatively, there’s Pittlene – sounds a bit racing-car-pit-crew-ish. Then there’s Herad – which is just grammatically too awful for words. Which leaves us with the only other viable alternative – Helpitt – now that one could work. It even sounds kinda foxy and sexy. I like!

But, then again, it does seem rather rude of me to simply push Johnny Depp to the side, just for good old Brad. And Johnny and I can certainly cook up a few winning name combo’s too. There’s Johlene – way too tame for my tastes. Henny – which is way too Lenny Henry for me. Then there’s Johnte – which reminds me far too much of cricket. Or alternatively, there’s Depplene. And given all of the above, I might just have to give old Johnny the boot. Which is a real “Pitt”-y. Unless we do the whole Jack Sparrow thing, which technically could actually work. Cause then we could do Sparlene. No, we could not. It sounds like Sparletta. Sorry, Johnny my boy. Some things are simply just not meant to be.

And then my over active imagination leapt to South Africa celeb name combo’s. Can you just imagine if Derek Watts and Patricia Lewis hooked up? They could be called, “Delicia”. Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!!! Or Steve Hofmeyer and Amore Vittone. They could go by the moniker of “Ameve” or “Store”. He-he-he-he-he!!!

Which reminded me, that the only workable name that Grant and I could do is, "Grelene". How's that for gruesome! So perhaps I should not judge too harshly.

But perhaps I am simply not thinking big enough. Imagine if two arch enemies like Jacob Zuma and Helen Zille got it together. Then we could get “Zuzille”.

That’s it, “Zuzille” wins!!!

Eat your heart out Brangelina!