Sometimes in a marriage, it's wise to shut the hell up

Sometimes in a marriage, it's wise to shut the hell up
31 October 2013

Man, it is just sooo good to be right about something.  To feel vindicated that you are correct.  To know that you know more.  Secure and smug in your assumption that basically you are the bomb.

And it is easy to fall into combative one-upmanship with your man.  Or your woman for that matter.

To have a need to always be victorious and self-righteous.  To show them how very clever you are.

But man, that is boring!  It is stressful.  And aggressive.  Abbrasive.  Tedious.  And ever so predictable.

Cause here’s my train of thought.  Yes, sometimes your partner is going to act like an ass and say something really stupid.  But sometimes you’ll be the one acting like an ass and saying something really stupid.

So just let it be.  Look past it.  Move on.

In the grand scheme of things, is continually correcting someone else really all that fun?  Cause let’s be honest, who’s the one really looking like an ass?  I told you so, has to be one of the most annoying phrases in the English language for sure.  In fact, I’m betting every language has a version of it too.

Instead, I think this is a far better option.  Shut the hell up.  Nit picking is soul destroying – for both the person doing it, and the victim thereof.

Focus on the good.  On that which is great.  Gloss over the irritating bits.  Because I think that is the trick to being happy.  Tearing apart someone you love, is hardly sporting at all. 

The alternative can drive you batty.  It is exhausting fighting with someone all of the time. 

Now I’m not saying be a wallflower.  Or a silent stewer over something that’s annoyed you.  But just try and take the moral high road as much as you can.  If you feel strongly enough about something, then by all means – give it a go.  Have your say.

But, by bickering and arguing over everything, all of the time, you can ruin a relationship in the blink of an eye.  Because if that is your frame of mind, then with very little provocation, you can find fault with it all.

For myself, I mostly gloss over the bits where I think my husband’s being an ass or an eejit.  In my head alone it is satisfying enough, knowing that he is wrong and that I am right.  In my humble opinion of course.

Cause chances are, every so often he thinks the same thing about me too.

And so perhaps, in a warped way, us two ass halves, make an asshole.

Which is kinda perfect in its own way. 

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