Tuesday, 12 November 2013

Tattoos - they can work against you


Tattoos - they can work against you
12 November 2013

I think that for the most part, I get tattoos.  Most people like art – some just happen to like their art on their bodies.  And I’ve got no problem with that.  It actually makes perfect sense in a way.  You get to take your art with you, wherever you go.  It is a permanent visual reminder of something that holds value to you.

Some people do tattoos, to commemorate events in their life.  Others to honour someone special to them – either living or dearly departed.  For some it’s their “totem” animal if you like.  Perhaps it’s a memento of a holiday, or an occasion.  And for others – they just like the joy and thrill of getting inked.  The pleasurable pain of beautifying your body and adding something significant to your being.  And I do believe that it can be addictive and so rewarding.  Or at least, that’s what I’ve been told.

Personally, I don’t have any tatts.  Not that I have a problem with tattoos.  It’s just not a road I’ve gone down.  I’ve never expressed the desire or need.  Which doesn’t mean I haven’t picked out what I’d get if I ever indulged.  It’s a no-brainer for me.  I’d have a little moustache tattooed on the inside of my index finger, where it lies against my middle finger.  I think it would make the perfect prop for a photo opportunity.  Such fun!  Perhaps I’d even do one on both index fingers – one ‘stache could be all handlebar, and the other perhaps a bit more austere. 

And a few weeks ago, my Twisted Sista’s and I went to Cape Town and spent a night painting the town red.  And upon our travels, walking up and down Long Street in Cape Town, we just so happened to pass a Tattoo Bar.  And of the six of us, my friend Thea and I were sorely tempted.  In fact, we nearly went ahead and took the plunge.  It would have been such a delightfully impulsive thing to do, and I was charmed at the thought.  However, it would have held real significance for me, if all of us did it.  Also the cost of a tattoo, as well as the valued time needed to do it, tipped the scales eventually.  We had other plans for our night and time was precious.

My Grantie has a stunning tattoo that holds special meaning.  Upon the birth of his precious little gal, he had her name tattooed in Chinese on his upper left arm.  And it is just so sweet.  Quite predictably, Amber finds it utterly charming.  Most of the Lombard boys in our family, have the Lombard family crest as a tattoo.  The family bond is so strong and is so special that even the boy cousins that don’t have the Lombard name, still have it done.  And it’s hardly surprising that my Luke has already expressed a desire to have the Lombard crest done, once he’s old enough.  In fact, my Luke has pre-planned most of his tattoos for one day too.  I’m sure Cole will probably feel the same.

It’s become so trendy and done.  And most people have them.  Quite often, when they start, they don’t stop either.  Years ago, it was a novelty.  And perhaps even a bit of an oddity.  But nowadays it’s not uncommon to see people with entire arms done, quite often in tribal Samoa-ish type patterns.  Calf muscles, entire legs too.  And so I think that perhaps the tattoo area has grown in general.  From a discreet and small little item, perhaps on a shoulder, or butt cheek, people have clearly gone with the whole bigger-is-better frame of mine.  And in addition, people are starting doing tattoos at a much younger age.

And usually, these tattoos look pretty awesome!  I admire the art work.  The dedication and obvious pain in having it done.  Some tattoo artists are amazingly talented and people are super creative in choosing subject matter.  There is some seriously beautiful ink work out there.


Occasionally, it is just so very wrong.  Tattoos can turn bad and work against you.  Perhaps part of this problem is the age people get inked at.  What holds special significance for you at age eighteen, will more than likely not really float your boat ten years later.  Never mind a lifetime later.  Also, relationships end.  People move on and find new love.  And there you sit with, “Bob forever”, stuck on your arm.  Not all that great.  Personally, I love how Angelina Jolie had the coordinates of all of her children’s birth places tattooed on her arm.  Now that is really cool.  But it probably wouldn’t really work for me.  Unlike Angelina, whose kids were born all over the world, I’d be lumped with three identical tattoos for the location of Vergelegen Medi-Clinic in Somerset West.  So – not really a winner either.

But if you’re in the mood and feel like a wonderfully evil pleasure – google “worst tattoos”, and brace yourself for a really good laugh.  It’s horrible, but sometimes laughing at the misfortune of others is funny.  It’s human nature.  And we all do it.  Most especially if the only real harm done, is a bruised ego.

And so I thought, I’d select a few of my faves, and share with you.

Have fun!!!

Me horsing about with my "tatt" - pretty snazzy, right?

All righty then!

Nice one - NOT!

Embrace your excess body hair, in this case your random upper arm fluff. This one is actually kinda funny.


I mean why wouldn't you want a Patrick Swayze Centaur?

I would imagine that trying to enter the gainfully-employed-field, looking like this might be a bit difficult.

Taking branding to a whole new level


Converse shoes are so pricy these days - perhaps this is a good alternative?

Eeeuuww (but funny)

Look no matter what, this guy can NOT leave Brenda. She pretty much has an open ticket to do exactly what she wants. I'm thinking he'll remain loyal.

Err, right! There's a whole bunch of "wrong" with this picture. The question though, is where to start? Perhaps the frilly clothing?

Coulrophobia - the fear of clowns. Super creepy!

Perhaps not so "awsome" after all

If the guy sporting this tat, asks you out, you have to decline. Irrespective of the day, you need to stay home and wash your hair instead.

Gross, but funny at the same time.

Didn't think it could be done - but here it is. This one is even worse.

I'm sure she's a beliver now! In the almighty power of the dictionary.

Just keep smileing - cause the alternative is surely tears

I LIKE Dave - he's a funny guy!

This is just so messed up!

Possibly a gamer? 
Favourite bad tattoo - EVER!!! This is unbelievably funny and I giggle each time I see it.

Sure! Tomarrow. The day after taday. Not yestaday.

Regret nohing you say? Perhaps want to retract that?


1 comment:

  1. That Bob Marley tatoo is hilarious!!
    And why do I find the poephol ones so funny too?