Adults - they make no sense

Adults - they make no sense
5 September 2013

Little kids in particular, are unable to grasp some of our more subtle language nuances.  The difference between literally and figuratively goes right over their heads.  Literally and figuratively…

And so, telling your annoying kids to stop pushing your buttons, might leave them well and truly perplexed.  And start looking for exactly where those mysterious buttons have been hiding all of these years. 

Personally, I’ve also been known to tell my kids that they’re pushing me over the edge.  This despite there not even being a ledge.  And I suspect that when I say things like this, they wouldn’t mind giving me that last final shove.

Occasionally, I say, “I’m up to here!”, and I lift my one hand up high above my head.  And I fear that as I start shrinking with my advanced years, this might lose impact.  Already, Luke is way taller than me.  And I do look rather stupid when I wave my little hand up in the air, and he looks almost down at it with humour in his eyes.  It’s not really effectual at all.

The trick is when they ask us or challenge us on these funny things we say.  And then upon trying to explain it, we realise how silly it really sounds.

But in the same vein, we too are guilty of this.  And therefore, we sometimes miss the little things that kids say to us.  We take them at face value and often don’t give them credit for how clever they really are.  And how their innocent words can be misconstrued.

A few years ago, my sister regaled us with a story of my then-four-year old niece, Honey.  And so to set the scene, picture this:  Honey is sitting on the couch, most likely watching a bit of telly (she’s British and I believe they do the telly over there – sadly my kids have to watch the TV instead).  And my sister, Katrine, was in the kitchen, most likely pottering about or cooking a meal.  When from the lounge, came Honey’s piercing little girl voice saying, “Mummy, I’ve got something sticky in my nose”.  And I do believe that while my sister was fetching a damp cloth to wipe it all down, she said in a loud voice from the kitchen, “Is it syrup?  Or jam?”  Possibly at an attempt at humour, she might even have said, “Is it maybe some honey, Honey?”

Well, imagine her surprise, when she got to the couch, and found that Honey, had in actual fact, stuck a little stick up her nose.  Kids!  And so, yes indeed.  Technically she did have something sticky up her nose.  Though the remedy involved a pair of tweezers and not a damp cloth.

Still, maybe we don’t actually give kids enough credit.  Some things they most certainly understand very well.  And therefore, when my kids push my buttons the most, and I’m about to go over the edge, because I’m up to here, I normally give them a final warning.

“Mommy’s going to the dark side.”

Amazingly that usually seems to do the trick.  Because the dark side’s pretty grim.  I’ve taught them well.

And then as a final parting shot, I have been known to indulge in a bit of heavy breathing, Darth Vader style, and say to my eldest son,

“Listen to me.  Luke, I am your mother”.

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