From the birds and the bees, to family trees.: If his bits weren't attached, he'd lose those too

If his bits weren't attached, he'd lose those too
19 August 2014

I’ve always been one of those pathetically predictable people. Pretty much even tempered. Moderate. Responsible. Stable. Dependable. Blah, blah, blah. Boring!

Always looked after my stuff. Don’t really break things often. Never lose things either.

But the universe has a very odd sense of humour. And I love her for it. To cure my boring regularity, she gave me Cole.

My delightfully “loskop” kid. And I can’t quite put my finger on it. Did I get him, because the powers that be knew that I needed someone to loosen me up? Or did the powers that be give me to him, so that he would always have someone to look after him?

Whatever the cause, we have a definite symbiotic relationship.

A large part of my function as his mother, is to remind him about things. And look for his stuff. Cause remembering his own stuff is way too boring and mundane for him. He’s got more exciting things to think about.

His current obsession is paper airplanes. He’s obsessed. He makes them from anything and everything. In all different sizes and shapes. On all different papers. From newsprint, to folio’s, magazines, to cardboard. He decorates them, times their flights, lengthily discusses their trajectory with anyone willing to listen, selects suitable launching pads, measures flight distance covered, etc. His room looks like a paper tip. And woe betide you if you throw one away. He’s even taken to enormous flights of fancy – huge A3 sheets of paper, sellotaped and glued together, to make monstrously big planes, that are aeronautically impossible to ever take flight. Still, this is his flavour of the moment.

The downside of the way that Cole’s brain works, is that he simply doesn’t have space inside there for arbitrary things. Like bringing his school bag home from school. Collecting his lunch box after break. Picking up his shoes after sports practice.

It is a challenge. Mostly for me. He’s not concerned at all. That’s my job.

Monday last week saw him coming home without his school shoes. Well, he had hockey after school, so he got changed in the changing rooms, and most likely left them there. Luckily in preparation of eventualities just like this, he has two pairs. On Tuesday he came home without his school sweater. Luckily in preparation of eventualities just like this, he has more than one sweater. On Wednesday evening I got a phone call from another mom, saying that they had picked his PT vest up on the sports field after school that afternoon. Luckily in preparation of eventualities….. This was just a regular week. Nothing out of the ordinary. Amazingly all the bits eventually found their way home. More by luck than anything. The grace and kindness of others.

The only reason that Thursday and Friday afternoon didn’t yield a similar something-left-behind-or-lost-surprise, was because he went off on a three day sports tour to Oudtshoorn. Anything sent off with Cole on camp or tour, is an act of faith. As we might never see it again.

I dutifully marked every single item of clothing and sporting equipment. Being familiar with his pattern. The hope being that when he left something behind, someone else might pick it up and hand it in to a teacher. It was not an “if”. It was a definite “when”. However, I decided to draw the line. Jocks and socks were left unmarked. If lost, I would write it off to collateral damage. A casualty of war. It certainly wasn’t worth my time. Or the cost of the khoki I would ruin and dry out in the process. High ticket items were marked in more than one spot. Extremely well. I’ve learnt the hard way.

When he came back on Sunday, a few things were clear. I firstly checked whether his most prized possession made it home. Happy to report that he is still the owner of Princess A5 hockey stick. It is his pride and joy, and for the first few weeks after getting it, he slept with it every night. Secondly I checked for his hockey togs and school shoes. Though we have doubles of both, it would be awesome to continue having doubles of both. Huge was my surprise, when I found two pairs of matching shoes – togs and school. Oh happy day! Next I unpacked the clothing bag, and the next obvious thing jumped out at me. He wore the same jocks, pants, shirts, socks, and sweater the entire tour. They practically stood up on their own. Though I am not unfamiliar with this boy pattern. Cole is of course not my first boy child to go off on tour or camp. I’m not even entirely sure he thought of turning the jocks inside out for alternate days. So I saved a heap on washing. Though the limited dirty laundry he did bring home, had to be washed more than once.

I wasn’t sure if he had left anything behind. But all the bits and pieces appeared to be there. However by Sunday I got a message from a mom saying that she had Cole’s school sweater (never even noticed it was gone), and that she would deliver it laundered and clean at school the next day. On Monday morning, when I was hanging up the washing, I found a friend’s school shorts in our wash. So I’m assuming Cole’s pair is floating out there somewhere.

All in all, he had a lovely tour. Though for their fun outing on Saturday afternoon to Wilgewandel holiday farm, he left the pocket money I had sent with at his room in the hotel. Not all that surprising. It was the whole reason he had pocket money in the first place. Luckily part of the package was a go on most of the activities on the farm. But kids could buy extra rides, attractions and snacks with their own dosh. Still Cole did quite well. A friend paid for a Camel ride for Cole and his latest love. Not quite a horse and carriage, but still. Bet it was pretty impressive.

All I’m saying is that it’s just as well his bits are attached. Cause if it wasn’t for that, he’d lose those too.

PS: Yesterday afternoon saw him coming home without his maths book for homework. Wondering what missing item this afternoon will yield… Or rather not yield.

So a few hours have passed, and this is what I can report. Fetched him from school in the driving rain – minus his school sweater. Luckily in preparation of eventualities like these… And big surprise – no Maths book either. His homework is supposedly complete. Right!

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