Wednesday, 18 June 2014

The Money Oven - My latest invention

The Money Oven - My latest invention
18 June 2014

So hot on the heels of my Nobel Peace Prize nomination (or perhaps because of it), I’ve decided to play “Inventor” again.  And if you don’t mind me saying so (yet again), I’m a friggin genius!!!  A genius I tell you!

My brilliance knows no bounds.

Whilst still basking in the glory of TWITS (, which incidentally stands for, TEENAGE WEAKNESS IRRITATION THWARTING SYSTEM, my marvellous teenager repellent, I thought I’d give a hand at doing it again.  Inventing something miraculous.  Wonderful.  Barely believable (in fact is this even possible?).

I, Helene Cloete, have invented a Money Oven.  I know – a money oven!  How clever!

Tell you more?  Of course I will.

So here’s the crux of the matter.  The money box successfully (really?), converts 5c coins, into R500 notes (didn’t know we got those did you now?). 

Yip, you heard me.  It turns insignificant-barely-worth-a-mention 5c coins into R500 notes.  I swear.  It does.

All you do, is feed your 5c coins into the slot.  Or the oven, if you like.  But whereas the conventional oven works on an application-of-heat-to-successfully-bake-or-cook-goods-concept, the money oven requires no heat at all.

Just pop the coins in the slot, rub the oven anti-clockwise seventeen times, do a tumble turn, whistle Camptown Races, count in three’s from 7 to 73, hold your breath for 13 seconds, tie your hair up in 4 ponies, recite the Mr Delivery Pizza Menu, and voila!  Out at the bottom, your R500 notes will appear.

Don’t believe me?

I suggest you give it a try. 

I am willing to sell you one of my money ovens, for the rather meagre and conservative amount of R22 000.  Per oven.  Though I do not discriminate across currencies.  I’m also rather partial to Dollars, Pounds and Euros.  Not a great fan of the Zim Dollar, I must confess.

For optimum success, I propose that you get at least two.  To really kind of even your odds.

And just so you know - I'll be making Franchising opportunities available soon. At a bargain price of course! 

The actual equipment needed for your money oven, resembles a piggy bank.  It doesn’t even have to look like a piggy.  I’m flexible like that.

So why the great fee?  Well it’s intellectual property of course.  And good will too.  The sharing of my brain child.  The gift I give to you of potential financial stability and security. 

I offer a 24 month no-money-back-guarantee.

It’s really a winning deal.

For me.

I expect to be inundated with orders pretty soon.  So best I up production and get into gear.

I’m sure to be rolling in some Money Oven Moolah pretty soon.

Alas, one can dream. ;-)

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