Sunday, 1 June 2014

A support group for anti-social people

A support group for anti-social people
1 June 2014

A support group for anti-social people.  Wonder if they’ll ever meet and have an actual meeting?

It’s a bit like the sign that read, “Clairvoyant’s meeting cancelled until next week, due to unforeseen circumstances”.

The whole thing is a misnomer.

I’m a very social person.  I socialise easily with people.  Can make conversation with anybody.  Put anyone at ease, and converse easily with younger or older people, from various different walks of life.  About any innocuous topic.  It comes naturally to me, and is not something I have to think about.  I know that this is not a unique skill.  That this doesn’t make me special in any way.  That it isn’t really a talent of sorts.  It’s just something I can do.  In inborn ability, like being able to spell, sing, hit a ball, etc.

But I think that the world must be a very, very lonely place for people who lack social skills.  Who find it difficult to connect with others.  And for who this does not come naturally.

For some, life is awkward.  And social interaction is painful.  They’re inept at it.  Don’t get many of the social queues that you and I grasp and understand, without even having to think about it.  It’s as natural as breathing in and out.  In and out. 

But for them it’s painful. 

I know a few people that are like this.  And my heart aches for them.  They don’t understand the finer nuances of the social dance that people do.  The two-way communication thing. 

The attempts they make at interaction are awkward.  Uncomfortable.  And mostly disingenuous.  Lacking in warmth. 

It’s like an inner stutter.  Not uttered verbally, but felt internally.  And one they are unable to hide.  Or mask.  Their discomfort shows.  Plainly so. 

For those, unaware of their inability, I reckon it must be easier.  They’re most likely blissfully unaware.  Stumble through life, not picking up on the odd looks of others.  The raised eyebrows, looks of confusion, the odd shake of the head.

But for those, able to identify that for them it’s difficult, it must be horrible.  Yet somehow they can’t seem to bridge that gap.  Make the right moves.  Say the right things.

One of the things we take for granted in this world, is communication.  It is something we are taught on our mother’s laps.  And by observing the world around us.  The problem being that for some people, though they were given the same equal opportunity, have the necessary language skills and are intellectually equipped, they simply can’t do it.

I look at those close to me who battle.  Their life is fairly solitary.  They’re lost on a ship, sailing who knows where.  All on their own.  No close connection to anyone.  No great bonds of friendship.  No strong family links forged either. 

I really feel their pain.  And say humble thanks that this is one area of life, I don’t have problems with.  And nor do my kids.  Because as a parent, it must be heart-breaking to witness.

Watching a kid that you love, being isolated and alone, must be bloody awful!

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  1. Self-centeredness is a symptom of depression and a sickness of our times.

  2. It is a awful because these are not skills one is really able to learn.
    It is reason for gratitude if it is easy. Very happy that my kids are also easy going and communicate easily.
    None of you could do your jobs if you weren't.