Tuesday, 17 December 2013

A book about how to get girls


A book about how to get girls
17 December 2013

All children are special.  In some or other unique way.  They bring joy and love.  They enrich our lives and teach us about unconditional love.  The love we are capable of giving.  As well as the love we are capable of receiving.

Yet, for all of their wonderful qualities, rearing children, is rather hard work.

I have witnessed in my own life, as a mother, as a child, as a sibling, as a grandchild, and as a cousin, that some children are harder to raise than others.  They are more challenging.  They don’t submit as easily.  They question the world and the adults who live in that world.

Some children go with the flow.  They bow down to authority.  They accept the boundaries set out for them.  They follow.  But some children, don’t do this at all.

And I have been blessed with one such child.  Yet apart from the fact that he is challenging, he is an absolute delight.  My bonus baby.

I know I’ve said this many times before, but he is different.  I love him equally to my other children.  Obviously.  They are just as special.  Just as unique.  Just as all round wonderful.

Yet with them, I am easier able to understand their behaviour.  To guess what they are doing.  How they will react in a certain situation.

But Cole?  Well, he’s the wild card.  The unexpected, is to be expected around him. 

It keeps me on my toes.  And much as he frustrates me at times, he is utterly charming too.

I never quite know what he’s going to come up with next.

And today again, this point was proven to me.

We asked the kids to give us some ideas for Christmas presents.  Yes, yes – almost Christmas time and I haven’t bought a sausage.  Nor a gammon, crackers, wrapping paper, etc.

Anyway, with Luke and Amber, their gift wish lists were predictable.  Luke wants a game he’s been salivating about.  Some “cool” soccer shirts.  Two soccer biographies.  Some more branded clothing, etc.  He’s so funny.  If only money grew on trees.  Amber also wants clothes.  Make-up, jewellery, a new PC game, a bigger bedroom, a bedroom revamp, a pink laptop, etc.  She’s so funny.  If only money grew on trees.

And Cole?  Well, Cole only had two things on his list.  An MP3 CD Player thingie-majig and, to quote him, “A book on how to get girls”. 

What can I say?  The beautiful and elusive, Emily, is proving a challenge to court.  And I’m thinking Cole would like to step things up a notch.  Apparently, nine year old little Emily (the cutest litte girl), is the local girlie heartthrob.  Cole claims that eleven boys like her.  Which naturally means that dear sweet Emily, has the pick of the litter.  Quite predictably, given the fact that confidence is not a problem for Cole, he firmly believes that he is the chosen one.  Still he would like to cement Emily’s affections for him.

He is already eagerly looking forward to her birthday party, in more than a month’s time.  And has informed me that the usual party gift of money in an envelope (what else does one give a kid these days?), will not do.  He personally, wants to go and choose a whole bunch of big chocolate slabs for her, as he wants her to feel treated.  And if I’m unwilling to help, he is quite prepared to part with some of his birthday dosh, and splurge on her himself.

So, here’s the thing – the MP3 CD Player thingie-majig, is quite easy to find and buy.  However, “The book on how to get girls” is proving a bit problematic.  The shop assistant at Wordsworth books, blatantly laughed in my face.

Which has led me to believe, best I pen one for him myself.

A book on how to get girls:
Tell them they are thin.
Buy them lots of flowers.
Cuddle and hold hands.
Tell them that their bum looks small in whatever they’re wearing.
Write them little letters.
Show them your six pack.
Listen to them.
Tell them that they are thin…..

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1 comment:

  1. This is priceless, and I love the way you tell it!
    He is a smart little boy, and I love him much!!