Sunday 19 August 2012

Sex, drugs and rock 'n roll - a cautionary tale


Sex, drugs and rock 'n roll - a cautionary tale
19 August 2012

So is the music industry all the glam that it’s been made out to be?  No, in fact it’s not.  Or should I say “NO!” (it truly deserves capital letters).  Now how would I know, you might ask?  Am I a musician?  No, not really.  Yes, I can play the piano, but not particularly well.  I love singing, but my audience is mainly the shower curtain and my poor children (they don’t have a choice as I like to sing in the car sometimes and they truly can’t escape – it’s the whole ‘captive’ audience thing – wicked, I know). 

So how would I really know?  Well, my family is overrun with musicians and I grew up as the child of a musician.  My dad was in a band from when he was about 15 years old.  And my folks used to tell me how my mom used to man the door at venues and I’d be sleeping in my carrycot under the table, while my mom collected entry fees above the table.  Apparently I slept through all the racket and loud music, but used to wake up when the band stopped playing as it was too quiet.  I grew up on a solid and steady diet of Rock ‘n Roll and remember always having music in the house, instruments galore and people who were able to play them.  My folks always had huge music parties, and so I grew up with a love for live music.

My brother, the multi-talented Albert Frost, is an awesome, awe-inspiring, jaw-droppingly good guitarist.  And I’m not just saying it because he’s my brother.  I’m biased, yes, but also honest.  And don’t just take my word for it.  He’s the only guitarist in South Africa who’s endorsed by Fender Guitars.  He gets sponsorship and endorsements from a variety of brands and labels.  He’s been the poster boy for Levi Strauss.  In fact they had huge big life size posters of him in all of their shops for a while.  I went in to one of the stores and asked them if I could please have one of the posters.  No, I explained, I’m not a groupie or a rabid fan.  I’m his sister, you see.  And he’s away from home so much, that I thought it would be awesome to simply plonk his stand-up poster down at family gatherings.  That way, he’d even be included in group family photo’s.  There would be no need to photo shop him in after the event.  A simply marvellous idea, I thought.  No, they told me.  They had a waiting list as long as at least 3 arms for the posters, and in the end I never got one.   It’s probably better, anyway.  It’s not really a smiley picture of him and it would be uber unfair if he never seemed to age like the rest of us.

He’s been featured in a variety of magazines and newspapers, he appears on TV every so often and if you check out his Facebook fan page, you’ll be able to see where you can catch him performing live.  Hopefully in a venue close to you.  He’s toured overseas, played as part of an opening act with Simple Minds on their world tour and opened up for The Rolling Stones in Spain (we have an awesome photo of Albert and the rest of the band with the Rolling Stones, but are not allowed to share or publish it – sooo tempting, I tell you).  He’s shared the stage with greats like Vusi Mahlasela, Tim Robbins, Koos Kombuis, Valiant Swart, Arno Carstens, etc.  He’s played in Germany, Spain, England, France, Belgium, Holland, Luxembourg and Dubai (a rich oil sheikh flew him and his fellow musical partner in crime, Arno Carstens, over for his birthday bash – that’s the Sheikh’s birthday bash, not my brother’s).  He’s performed a few times at the Nelson Mandela 46664 concert and a few years ago Madiba was lucky enough to meet him (we even have the photo to prove it and this one we may share – in fact I wouldn’t be surprised if Madiba has a framed copy next to his bed).  He’s chatted to people, the likes of Keith Richards, Mick Jagger, etc.  He is an institution at all of the musical festivals in South Africa, from Grahams Town and Up the Creek, to Oppikoppi as well as abroad at Pukkelpop and the Isle of Wight Festival.

Sounds pretty swanky, hey?  Well no, it’s not.  He rarely stays in the same place for more than one night.  He spends his life in his car driving to gigs.  I suspect he’s part of the reason that the South African airline industry is still alive and relatively well.  He pays a small fortune in excess baggage as he has to lug all of his guitars around with him when he flies.  On average I think he takes about 8 of his axes to a gig.  He’s an expert at living out of a suitcase.  His life is a constant merry-go-round of driving, flying, sound checks, writing songs, studio recording time, interviews, gig-playing, packing up of instruments, unpacking of instruments, re-stringing of guitars, tuning of guitars, airport check-ins, etc.  He probably does about 20 gigs a month and in between travelling time, he only gets to spend about four or five days a month at home.  Normally not more than 24 hours in a row either.  And when he’s at home, he simply crashes and sleeps.  The poor guy is shattered and exhausted.

So apart from the travelling, the hectic schedule and not being at home, what are the pitfalls?  From an outside view, even though I suppose I have the inside edge, there are five main ones.  Firstly, absolutely everyone is your best friend, and your ‘biggest fan’, and can they please have the honour of buying you a drink and chatting to you.  Secondly, just about every single girl you meet, is your ‘biggest fan’ and has major groupie aspirations and can you please buy a drink for her.  Thirdly, you are always expected to be the life and soul of a party.  To stay on after the gigs, chatting and drinking and making nice to your fans.  Fourthly, it is very difficult to sustain a relationship.  You are away from home so often and girls literally throw themselves at you.  Any relationship you enter into has to be 100% based on trust and you simply have to resist temptation.  Fifthly, finally, and most dangerous of all – the alcohol is always flowing and drugs are rife.  So much so that people buy them for you – alcohol and drugs. 

And for years and years, my brother fell into every single trap and pitfall.  He literally was the life and soul of every party.  Normally the last one to leave.  At the end of an evening, his bar tab would be higher than the money he earned at a gig.  Alcohol became a huge problem.  It affected his career and every single relationship in his life.  He was not going ahead.  He was stagnating as an artist and a person.  He was letting people down, not always intentionally.  He’d forget what the arrangements were.  He was always late.  He lost more cellphones and camera’s than anyone can ever imagine.  For every flight he made, he probably missed at least two.  He spent a fortune in rebooking tickets.  He appeared on stage drunk.  He amassed a reputation for unreliability.  He missed sound checks.  He became known as “Mr Jagermeister” – not an honourable title.  He was messing up and messing up big.  He stopped creating magic.

And eventually, he crossed a line.  And being the loving, caring and concerned family that we are – we had a family intervention.  He had his back against a wall.  And just like that, I got my brother back again.  He stopped drinking - immediately.  Just like that.  From one day to the next.  And he has not looked back.  He has been sober now for 16 months.  Not a single drop of alcohol.  And funnily enough, once the drinking stopped, a whole bunch of other stuff fell into place as well.  He has done some of his most creative work ever.  His career is flourishing.  He takes immense pride now in being on time and being where he says he’s going to be.  He’s never late.  He’s trustworthy.  He’s honest.  He’s sincere.  He’s kind.  He’s genuine.  He’s grounded.  He’s humble.  He has pride in himself.  He has standards that he has set for himself and he keeps to them.  He is so much fun to be around.  He’s able to have meaningful conversations, that he’ll remember the next day.  He makes sense.  He’s logical.  He’s regained credibility in the music industry.  He’s learnt to say “no” to groupies.  When people offer to buy him drinks, he accepts kindly and asks them if they can get him a cup of coffee, a coke (that would be the soft drink) or a mineral water.  He’s honest about being sober.  He doesn’t mind others drinking and isn’t judgemental of anyone else that drinks.  It clearly just doesn’t work for him.  He’ll gladly tell his audience on stage, that now instead of needing alcohol to have fun, he has himself and life.  Lastly, he is an amazing and dedicated father to his two beautiful little girls. 

And if I was any prouder of him, I’d POP!  Big up Albert, U DA BOMB!!! 











Check out the link to one of Albert's music videos on youtube.  It's a song called "Devils and Gods" and it's friggin awesome!!!


25 comments:

  1. Oh my word...truly blown away by what has to be such a beautiful gift to Albert! Can't believe it sometimes and reading this....he'S MY BROTHER TOO. Shut UP!! It's true. Wow Helene, you couldn't have said it better. I feel incredibly honoured and proud to have seen him and know the change in him and his life from his visit! He is inspiring and amazing and what a true role model for us all. People can change, I've seen it with my own eyes plenty. Go Al! Infact...old tradition...'we looooove you Aaaaaal!!' xxxxxxx

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  2. Wow... That was so well put! And u're right, he's an awesome and inspiring person and I was so glad to reconnect with him for a bit on my last visit. If it wasn't for his busy career, I'd move home n marry the boy! Ha!
    Well done Albert, we all love you xxx

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  3. He truly has become a completely different person and we love him even more now. and WHAT a musician.

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  4. bookmаrkeԁ!!, I like уοur web sіtе!
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  5. Keep it up Albert, one of these days I might just ask you to look after my dog for a day or two again! We love you, you know that. Die Kombuise

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  6. Lovely piece (have enjoyed many of your blogs, Helene!)...We think Albert is FANTASTIC, and a wonderful guy as well (my son Rafe has jammed with him at the Red Herring in Noordhoek, and we so appreciate his generosity with that...)...as the mom of a young guitarist, I find it reassuring and inspiring that someone brought down by the 'dark side' of the music industry, as it seems so many are, has climbed out and is flourishing, climbing higher and higher...We wish Al and the family all the best...Melissa (Siebert)

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  7. What a wonderful family. Albert jy rock big time. A living legend. Awesome blog!

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  8. I heard him play on Thursday at Riders from the Storm. He was incredible! I enjoyed it so much. My son has been a fan of his for a long time and introduced me to his music. Thank you for an interesting blog, Helene, and thanks for sharing your talent with us, Albert!

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  9. My darling Helene. Thank you for this beautifully written account of our Al who has amazed and thrilled all of us, and filled us with pride at his strength and perseverance. So appreciate that you have made time to tell his story with such insight, compassion and honesty! An yet again proud that our Al is not trying to hide it! To quote Ouma Helene, we are not a clandestine family. Love all three of you much!
    Mom

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  10. a hero's journey, i have learnt recently, needs a low point to climb from. well written and gutsy. congrats!

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  11. You may not remember me that well Helene (buddy of Paul Naidoo) but the memories I have of your family is the absolute love and warmth - and the music - that was always a part of your family home and this beautifully written work is indicative of that. Maggie, you can certainly be exceptionally proud of your family and especially Al who has overcome this major life roadblock and I know Frank is smiling!

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  12. Well written...and well done Albert! ...your best is still to come!

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  13. mooi so albert - baie nice kiekies ook! helene, ek dog my boeta is cool (vir non-musical reasons) maar jy wen die een!!!

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  14. wow Helene I have know you so long and always been so FASINATED by your awesome family and amazing mom Maggie and now your blog is my all time fave and this one is particularly heart warming and I feel so truly priviledged to know you and to share these awesome stories that you write so beautifully !!!! Al you ROCK!!! Love Ren

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  15. You Go Albert!

    Helene, you wrote an amazing heartfelt account. An inside look at this rough tough industry a lot of people do not understand or are aware of. I have known Albert. Maggie, Rob and the family for many years and am so glad to see this happeing for him.

    Awesome !
    Lyndon Dunbar

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  17. Thank you for the write up. I certainly agree
    with what you are saying. I have been talking
    about this subject a lot these days with my brother so ideally this
    will get him to see my point of view. Fingers crossed!
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  18. Did you mention what a nice guy he is? To everyone? Well written, apt and true!

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  19. Well done Albert and what a beautiful loving caring family you come from. Well written!!!!

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  20. You're ALL so talented! What a wonderful, loving and supportive family - kudos to you all!!

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  21. Great Guy , Great Musician

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  22. Riaan Nieuwenhuis9 March 2014 at 11:29

    Awesome stuff!

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