Friday, 24 August 2012

Some things are just not meant to be shared

Some things are just not meant to be shared
24 August 2012

Some things are sacred.  Some things you keep just for yourself.  Some things are simply never meant to be shared.

In fact, I think that sharing is highly overrated.  As children we are taught to share and are berated by our parents and elders for not sharing.  Is there not perhaps a point where this is stretched to the limits?

Why should little Johnny share his beloved toy car with his bratty younger brother, who will only get his grubby little hands on it and in all likelihood break it?  Is there even the vaguest chance that little Johnny’s father will “share” his brand new car with the neighbour’s teenage son?  Ba!  Humbag!  I tell you – double-bloody-standards!

And as a parent myself, I’m also always encouraging my kids to share.  They have to share their sweets (mainly with me), their treats (mainly with me), their toys and their prized possession (if these are sweets or treats, also mainly with me).

But if there is one area, and one area alone that is sacred and forbidden from sharing, it’s personal hygiene.  The thought of sharing a toothbrush with somebody holds absolutely NO appeal.  It’s unhygienic, unpleasant, unpalatable, unsavoury, un-bloody-every-adjective-I-know.  It’s just plain wrong.  Now mistakes do happen, and that I can live with.  Many a time a wrong toothbrush is grabbed in haste, especially if you have one of those electric toothbrushes and every member of the family just has their own nozzle.  Very easy to confuse, or mistakenly take the wrong one, especially when you’re in a rush.  And I have also been guilty of using someone else’s toothbrush by accident.  Even though I wet my toothbrush before using it, I do like it to be dry when I start the whole process of putting toothpaste on, because at least then I know that it’s mine.  If it’s wet, it means that someone else has had a go.

I think in general mom’s cope far better with accidents of this nature.  But men – I don’t think so.  They can be particularly possessive over their toothbrush. 

So one day, ever so casually, Luke tells us that when one of Amber’s little friends slept over and they had to go and brush their teeth before bedtime, said friend exclaimed that she had never used an electric toothbrush before and would so badly like to try it.  And my darling little Amber-Berry, being ever so thoughtful and considerate, naturally allowed her buddy to have a go.  After all, far be it from Amber to deny a friend’s wish.  And on this occasion, the lucky winner of the “share-your-toothbrush” competition went to………….Grant Cloete!!!

Looking at Grant, when Luke shared this little gem was like witnessing an epileptic fit in motion.  He was consumed by whole body convulsions and contortions and kept on gagging.  And me being me, I absolutely loved it – at times it is just so much fun watching others suffer.  He immediately ran to the bathroom at breakneck speed, rinsed his mouth, gargled, brushed his teeth (with a normal old fashioned ‘manual’ toothbrush), rinsed again, gargled again, brushed again, etc.  The offending nozzle got flung into the bin.

This was of course all accompanied by a giant ear deafening roar of “AMBER!!!!!”.  Amber was completely non-plussed as to what all the fuss was about.  I mean give her her due - she was quite clever.  She never shared her toothbrush and let’s not forget, more importantly, she never shared mine either.

Personally I’ve told Grant to get over himself.  By all accounts from what we have heard, Amber’s little friend (who is an extremely regular visitor and has even gone away on holiday with us and often stays for the weekend), is an African Princess.  Royal blood pumps through her veins – her family hails from Kenya.  I mean, if he had to share his toothbrush with someone, at least he got to do it with a princess.  Now fair is fair.  If Grant got to share his toothbrush with a princess, it would be most unfair if I was not offered the same opportunity.  And with all things being equal, I would simply not be able to settle for anything less than a prince.  I’m thinking Harry…

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