Tuesday, 14 January 2014

I'd give my kids my life. Or would I?

 I'd give my kids my life. Or would I?
14 January 2013

I’d give my kids my life.

Well, would I really?

You see the thing is this – on some levels, I’d give them my life for sure.  I’d jump under a bus for them.  Though to be honest, I’d prefer not having to.  I’d take a bullet for them.  Donate a kidney.  Stand up and fight unfairness in their life.  Take down someone messing with them.  Yada-yada-yada.  All pretty standard mom stuff.  Most moms would do this.  It’s kinda part of the whole ovary package.  Once you’ve bred, you feel responsible for your offspring, and will go to any lengths to protect them from harm and shield them from hurt.

But let’s be clear – there is most definitely a line.  Albeit an invisible one.

I’d give them my physical life.  And do all of the above.  But I still deserve a life.  

I will not be enslaved to them.  I will still have interests of my own.  A circle of friends.  Passions, that don’t include them.  Hobbies and outings they’re not involved in.

I deserve me-time too.

Cause if I don’t insist on this, what am I setting them up for?  Unrealistic expectations in a life partner and parent for sure.

I can only give my best, and be a good mom to them, when I am also emotionally fed.  When my needs have also been met.  Needs that don’t just consist of taking care of my family and providing for them.  My well also needs to be filled.

And so, I blog.  I write and I write and I write.  I journal their lives through the millions of photo’s I take, because I love photography.  And as photographic subjects go, they’re pretty darn gorgeous!  I go for walks – all on my own.  I read.  Magnificent books that take me on faraway journeys.  I get together with my fabulous friends.  We go out for coffee or a meal.  We visit one another at home.  We go to the movies, or a fun day in town.  All on our own.  No kids and husbands allowed. 

And we do this, because we love our kids and our husbands.  It’s true.

Because I’d like to let you in on a little secret.  Moms are people too.  They deserve to have fun.  To laugh.  To let their hair down and mingle with their friends.  To spend some quiet me-time, doing whatever they want.  To be stimulated outside of their family circle.

The life of a mom does not just have to consist out of driving kids around.  Supervising homework.  Cooking their meals.  Ensuring they’re shod, clothed, satisfied, well-behaved, happy, fed, grounded, entertained, well-mannered, stimulated, educated, etc.

Moms have lives too.  Cause if they don’t, they’ll burn out.  And won’t have anything left of themselves to give to their families.

Moms who have lives, raise kids who believe that they too deserve lives.

And so, though I’d give my kids my life, I am worthy of a life of my own too.

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1 comment:

  1. They only really appreciate you if you appreciate yourself!