Burn 800 calories in just 30 minutes

Burn 800 calories in just 30 minutes
8 May 2014

Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!  This is very, very funny.  And it gave me a really good laugh.

I reckon, the pic above is an accurate depiction of the most effective and realistic way of burning 800 calories in just 30 minutes.  In fact, I bet it’s pretty darn fool proof.

Though I do think that there are certainly variations on the topic.  For instance take a good sized rump steak, creamy potatoes topped with cheese, mushroom cheese sauce on the side, and a wee little side plate of fried bacon, one would surely top the calorie scale at a conservative 950.  Maybe even a thousand.  Actually, I wouldn’t mind trying it!

And most likely one could even improve on this plan.  With the simple addition of a higher temperature and the grill selection on the oven, one would most likely be able to do some really good damage in terms of calorie burning, within an even shorter space of time.  Record breaking stuff for sure.

I go walking a few times a week, and I use the handy little app on my phone to track my progress.  And I’m the first to admit that it is most likely not accurate.  At all.  Which though a bit annoying is not the end of the world.  Especially seeing as it probably measures my progress consistently inaccurate.  Which means there is a kind of logic to that.  A pattern of sorts. 

The main bit of info I’m interested in, is the distance.  It’s all about the kilometres.  Couldn’t be bothered about the time (I happen to have one of those nifty little things called a wristwatch, so that takes care of that).  Nor could I care about the incline, even though I kind of have a thing for hills – bizarre though that seems.  However, the one thing that really puzzles me is the calorie and kilojoule count.  Don’t have the foggiest idea what it actually translates to in terms of food, and how much I can eat.  What does it all mean? 

I’m all for having a little bit of balance.  Do a bit of exercise, and try and eat when your body needs it.  Not just when you want to.  Oh, there are certain guidelines of course.  I think it’s good to stick to meal times and not snack too much in between.  Though healthy snacking, like fruit, is probably pretty fair. 

It’s been a huge eye opener to me, that I would enjoy mild exercise like walking.  Me, of the lethargic approach to exercise, who prefers sitting on the couch.  Even just watching people exercise on TV, doing things like the Comrades marathon, had the ability to tire me out.  Possibly even demanding a nap to recuperate.  In the past the thought of intentional and willing exertion left me baffled.  Why would I want to?  Choose to get exhausted and tired?  No thank you!

And now I fear that I’ve become a bit addicted.  There is a very simple and honest joy in walking.  In drinking in the bounty of beauty all around me on my walks.  Of breathing in clean fresh air.  Of feeling the biting nip of cold first thing in the morning.  It is so invigorating and life giving.  Of seeing my stamina increase daily and my body changing shape. 

Added to all of that – it’s free.  It’s there for the taking.  And we are surrounded by so much magnificence.

Horrified at the thought of what I’m going to do when the winter rains start and my walking plans get thwarted.  A raincoat me-thinks. 

And when the weather gods are against me and all else fails, I’ll simply have to resort to considering similar measures to the photo above, in order to accumulate and earn my regular calorie burn.  Just think of the damage I could do to a roast leg of lamb in record breaking time!

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