Tuesday, 15 April 2014

Blegh! So over this Oscar trial.


Blegh! So over this Oscar trial.
15 April 2014

Once upon a crime.  The trial of the century.

I’m not belittling the fact that someone lost their life tragically.  And that more than one family has been changed irrevocably.

However, I’m just sooo over it.

But then again, I’ve never really been under it or into it at all. 

Actually, I’m pretty ignorant about the whole Oscar thing.  The facts that I know, are embarrassingly slim.  I haven’t watched the trial.  I don’t follow the trial on the daily TV news, or in the newspapers either. 

Instead, I catch little snippets while driving in my car, listening to the radio.  Spotting the headlines on the lamp poles.  Or having a quick squiz at front pages of newspapers or magazines while standing in the queue at the shops.  However, the most amount of info I get, is from friends.  And from you.

It is the topic of many conversations.  And many of my friends, admit that they are hooked.  And thus in conversation, I pick up a few of the highlights.  Mainly the opinion of others, with the odd bit of trial truth or supposition thrown into the mix.  In addition, no matter where you are, someone will be talking about it.  Two moms making conversation next to the sports field at school.  Overheard between some folks at a birthday party.  The lady at the grocery check-out, making small talk with the packer.  People posting stuff on Facebook.

So does this perhaps make me a good judge of what really happened?  And if there is guilt?  My judgement has not been clouded by the facts.  Cause what exactly are those? 

This is what I think.  I don’t know Oscar.  Nor did I know Reeva.  Her death is a tragedy.  From the outside looking in, Oscar is an extremely driven person.  And perhaps the very thing, and part of his personality that pushed him to succeed against all odds, is the very thing that was his downfall.  Did he have issues?  Yes.  Do we all have issues?  Yes.  Was he anxious about crime?  Yes.  Am I anxious about crime?  Well I don’t like it, and I’m fairly cautious.  Was he personally touched by crime?  Yes.  Have I been personally touched by crime?  Yes.  Did he feel vulnerable because of his disability?  Yes.  Do I feel vulnerable?  Well, I’m a woman, so I don’t have all that much physical strength and at times, women are targets for violent and sexual crimes.  Did he have baggage from his childhood and upbringing?  Yes.  Do most people have baggage from their childhood and upbringing?  Yes.

Do I think he thought Reeva was an intruder?  No.

But then again, I don’t know.  And I supposed, technically, neither do you.  Bottom line, evidence aside, it boils down to his word.  And whether he has enough motive to lie about his actions.

Do I believe he is showing true remorse?  Yes.  However, I’m not sure how much of his remorse is for the fact that he took a life – a horrible reality in itself.  One that is horrifying.  And how much remorse is for the fact that his life has been changed – his sporting career is over.  His financial woes are just starting.  His name has been sullied.  And his innocence, irrespective of the outcome of the trial, will forever be called into judgement.

Of one thing, I am fairly sure – if he could go back in time, and live that moment over again, knowing what he knows today, he’d change it.  He’d exercise caution.  He’d exercise restraint.

I am also fairly sure, that he didn’t plan on killing her.  That it was indeed an accident.  Most likely an accident fuelled by rage and a loss of temper.  A very bad lack in judgement as well as a lack in self-restraint.  Still, I don’t think he ever planned it.  A few seconds, can truly change a life.  Or take one.

A part of me really feels sorry for him.  For the mistake he has made.  A mistake that can never be undone.

Yet, I feel an even worse sense of awful sorrow for Reeva’s family.  What a nightmare they must be living in.

Losing a loved one is hard enough.  Losing a loved one under such terrible circumstances, must be a dreadful blow.  And being unable to find closure, because of a long drawn out trial, must be torture indeed.  The whole world watching your pain.  Waiting for your collapse.

The media circus that has become the Oscar trial, is reminiscent of the OJ trial of many moons ago.  In the end, nobody questioned his guilt – everyone knew he’d done it.  Yet he got off scot free.

Wherever I go, whatever I do, wherever I look, I am overwhelmed with Oscar.  He’s on my TV when I put it on.  He’s on my computer too.  He’s on newspapers and magazines, even lamp poles too.

So lastly, I’m so over this Oscar trial.  But perhaps in a way, I’m actually quite glad that the rest of you are not.  Cause if it wasn’t for my conversations with you, or overhearing your conversations with others, I’d be really in the dark.

Though at the same time, can we just be done with it now? 

I feel a bit as if we’re veering towards a, “Who killed JR?” scenario.  It was drawn out so much, that in the end nobody cared.  Nobody knew.  Nobody could remember.

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