Tuesday, 22 October 2013

Stalking used to be so much more difficult in the old days - before Facebook


Stalking used to be so much more difficult in the old days - before Facebook
22 October 2013

I would like to take this opportunity, to personally thank Mark Zuckerberg (and his four former mates) for Facebook.  Because before the advent thereof, stalking was so much more difficult.

It involved lengthy stake-outs in cars.  Nah, we only had bicycles.  Sometimes we had to do it on foot!  Occasionally, it called for the climbing of trees for a better vantage point.  Lots of peering and creeping.  And tiptoeing too.  Clothes got dirty, from crawling around.  And camouflage make-up was particularly harsh on the skin.  If stalking with a friend for company, whispering was tricky, and learning complicated hand signals, even more so.

But nowadays?  Well, nowadays it’s a breeze.  With the mere click of a button, you can go right into someone’s home.  Also depending on what pics they’ve added, you can see their garden, their holiday.  Heck even their pets.  Maybe even their bedroom too.  You can see their families, their kids and their friends.  You can see them at play – out and about.  You can see them, most anywhere you like.

In addition, you can see who they mingle with.  Who their friends are.  Where they work.  Where they live.  Even get their contact details.

And somehow, one tends to forget all of this, when you personally, are posting and adding things on to your wall and your profile.

Most times when I hook up with someone on Facebook, I have a peek at their world.  It stands to reason.  And how would I do this?  Well, it’s easy you see – their photos.  It usually, most elegantly and beautifully, gives you the highs of their lives.  All compacted into albums conveniently.  It shows you the important bits.  The bits worth immortalising on camera.

And I’m surmising that most people do this.  If you get a friend request, you quickly have a look, if you’ve got the time.  And you’re interested enough to do so.  Which goes without saying.

My own Facebook page, has grown to close to a thousand friends.  And perhaps inadvertently, I’ve made myself more out there with the blog.  Which is a strange concept to me in itself.  For me, it’s still little old me, sitting in front of my computer typing.  Wrapping my head around the fact that people other than my mother, sister, aunt and gran read regularly, is a bit surreal.  Maybe I’m a bit more in the public domain because of the blog?  But I don’t really know.  It all sounds rather odd to me.  Many friends have found me through the blog.  Then there’s friends, family, friends of friends, friends of family, friends of friends of friends, etc.  And so the circle gets ever bigger.

For any teenager, worthy of their weight in hormones and attitude, Facebook is about three things and three things only:  Firstly, acquiring as many friends as possible.  Secondly assuring that only flattering pics of yourself are posted – hence the huge amount of selfies taken by teens.  And thirdly, creating the illusion of popularity.  Goal number one is achieved by stalking and poaching friends.  Goal number two is achieved by taking selfies.  And goal number three is achieved by taking selfies, tagging yourself, doing numerous status updates, and increasing your number of friends, via means of stalking and poaching.

Yip, stalking is much easier nowadays.  All thanx to our friend, Facebook. 

Anyway, got to dash.  Quickly going to take a photie of myself.  Pouting my lips.  Wearing a strappy top.  Pushing up my boobs for maximum cleavage. 

You never know – if an old boyfriend just so happens to stumble across my page, I simply have to look the part.

Please click and LIKE on Facebook - Thanx!


  1. This is too true - I first do a check on everybody with whom I do business for Al!!

  2. Anytime I need a laugh u just a finger clicking stalk away!! See u soon x x Alexa