From the birds and the bees, to family trees.: My cartoon crush

Saturday 24 August 2013

My cartoon crush

My cartoon crush
24 August 2013

I’m not proud to admit it, but I had simply the biggest crush on Tarzan. In fact, I had it pretty bad.

Yes, yes, I know he’s merely a fictional character. And technically speaking he’s not really, well….. real. But he was just so darn hot in the animated Tarzan movie. All bare chested and muscly. In fact he’s half naked most of the time. He has a beautiful pair of pecs on him and he could make me laugh. Then he’s also super protective of his woman. And let’s not forget he had really good hair.

Now, I know I’m a married woman. And I’m not saying I would necessarily have left Grant if Tarzan had to come knocking on my door – cartoon character or not. But I might have given it a few minutes thought. Or maybe a few days thought – all whilst in Tarzan’s company of course. Perhaps like a little sojourn from real life? A jungle style vacation perhaps?

But is Tarzan my only cartoon crush? Don’t be ridiculous! I also had the hots for the prince dude from Tangled, Flynn Rider. He was rather fit. And let’s not forget how he could rock Zoolander’s Blue Steel pout. And he had long flowing hair too. Do I sense an emerging hair pattern?

Though to be fair, I pretty much loved that Rapunzel chic from Tangled too. Though I possibly more fantasized about being her and meeting up with the prince dude (the one with the long flowing hair…).

Tulio (some Johnny Depp undertones) and Miguel (he’s a dead ringer for Brad Pitt) from The Road to El Dorado were rather smashing too. And few could equal Sinbad for his bad-boy turned eventually good ways. Combined with his smouldering looks, he pretty much had the whole package too. The X-factor if you like. Or should I say the C-factor (as in sea…get it?)

In fact, if you really want to make a study of it, then there are strong similarities, looks-wise, between Tulio, Sinbad and Flynn Rider too. And I’m surmising it’s the whole olive-skinned, dark-haired, unshaven Johnny Depp angle all three of them seem to be working. Which leads me to believe that any of the three of them, would be perfect in the animated version of Pirates of the Caribbean, as the much-beloved scoundrel, Jack Sparrow.

Oh wait!!! Can you just imagine a movie in which all three of them “act” together? Now that would be a visual feast.

Perhaps the reason these characters are all so appealing, is their very human qualities. Their ability to be silly at times. To laugh at themselves. To turn from baddies at the start, to goodies at the end. And let’s not forget, they all end off bagging the hot fictional cartoon character chick, before the final credits roll. Major bonus!

Still, perhaps staying faithful to my Grantie has some real rewards too. Unlike my cartoon crushes, he’s there for me all of the time. Yes, yes, it can be said that he wears more clothes than Tarzan. And has less hair than Flynn. He’s not blonde like Miguel. Or rocks a turban-style-bandana like Sinbad does. Nor does he wear a goatee like Tulio.

But in my eyes, he’s the hottest of them all. He’s real and he’s mine.

Which explains why Disney has to resort to creating fictional characters, based in part on my man. And really, who can blame them?

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