50 Shades of Grey

50 Shades of Grey
12 April 2013

I think that I am probably one of the only women on the planet who has still not read “50 Shades of Grey”.  Which naturally means that I have not read any of the subsequent books either.

I don’t know much about it, except that it was the talk of the town and hot on everyone’s lips.  And from what I can make out and have gleaned from others, there’s a whole lot of bonking going down.  Which I suppose is nice enough.  Though, I am wondering if it’s a “how-to” manual?  The finer arts of?  Sort of tips on improved techniques and possibly positions?  Or is it just a recount of some woman’s fantasy?  Which I supposed is probably nice enough too.  I’m betting my bucks though, that it’s a wee bit of wishful thinking.

Whatever floats your boat is my motto.  Each to their own.  As long as everyone is comfortable and consent is given.

It is funny, how something becomes the flavour of the day.  The topic of all discussions.  The next really big thing.

Sadly though, for me personally, “50 Shades of Grey” is at present referring to the alarming and more-regular-than-I-would-like, sightings of grey hair.  How rude!  My own hair is betraying me.  And I’m always so nice to them.  I wash and lather twice, before massaging conditioner in, leaving it for the requisite two minutes before rinsing off again.  And I simply never singe it with a hairdryer or tongs or whatever other women do to their hair.  Mainly because my hair is long and my arms are too short to reach all the bits.  Also because I couldn’t really be bothered and would never have the time to faff either.  You’d think my own head of hair would show more gratitude???  

So the big question is this:  gracefully grey, purple rinse or just plain dye?  It is not bad yet.  And though I do see more grey hairs, my hair is sun streaked, especially after summer and so the grey is less noticeable.  And for now, ruthlessly plucking them out seems to do the trick.  But in the very near future, a decision shall have to be made.

Most of my friends dye.  It’s simply one of those things and they don’t even give it a thought.  Personally, it sounds like a lot of maintenance and gruesome discoloured roots once the hair has grown out is particularly unattractive.  So, you would need to know that you can absolutely sustain the continual cost of dying.  If that’s the road you’re going down.

One of Luke’s friends’ mothers is a beautiful, beautiful lady.  And she has gone completely grey.  It has not distracted from her beauty one little bit, in fact, I feel that it accentuates it, as the colour is so unusual.  And I’m assuming that for her, she simply decided to do the grey thing.  She is always perfectly groomed and well dressed.  A very stylish lady in fact.  But, just a short while ago, I think she had a bit of a sense of humour failure.  She and her family went to the local Nature Reserve to watch one of their sunset concerts over the summer season.  And huge was her horror at the gate, when they wanted to charge her senior citizen rates.  The injustice of it all.  Especially given the fact that she is still only in her late forties.  And that her husband, who was with her at the gate and who is older than she is, was not afforded the same “senior citizen status”.  I’m not entirely sure how I would have felt in the same situation.

Alas, at least I’ve got hair.  Which is not something my Grantie can say.  And so perhaps if I choose to go grey and he is bald, we’ll score us some awesome senior citizen winner deals.  We can do the senior citizen shopping days on Wednesdays at Pick ‘n Pay and get awesome discounts.  Pay less at the movies.  Have our own dedicated “older people” tellers at the bank – the queues are way shorter.  Enjoy free coffee and tea and the odd soup day at the local shopping centres.  Parking right in front of the entrance to the Mall.  In fact, the more I think about it, the more attractive the grey option is starting to sound. 

Grey might just be the new brown. 

 

 

Perhaps it is time for me to read 50 Shades of Grey, so that I can know what all the fuss is about

 

Exhibit A

 

 

Exhibit B