Friday, 28 February 2014

I don't like stupid people


I don't like stupid people
28 February 2014

There.  I’ve said it.  I don’t like stupid people. 

Pretty rich, I know – especially coming from me.  By my own admission, I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed.  A few cards short of a deck.  Don’t have all the dots on my dice.  The lift doesn’t go all the way to the top floor.  A few …  Enough said.

And to be truthful, I don’t mind the clinically stupid people.  The ones who are challenged in some or other way.  With them I am exceptionally tolerant and extremely understanding.  Patient and kind.

Nor do I mind the accidentally stupid people either.  I fall in that category, far too often for my own liking.  But usually I eventually realise it.  Admit it.  And have a giggle at my own expense.

But what I do mind, are the intentionally thick.  The dim-witted. 

As a rule I don’t like the word, “stupid”.  Since my kids were teeny-tiny, I’ve banned the word in my home.  Telling them it’s a swear word.  A four letter word.  One not to be used.  And in general, I don’t voice it often, or use it myself.  But it certainly doesn’t stop me from thinking it sometimes.

If that makes me unkind, I’m sorry. 

The sad thing, is that the world is overrun with stupid people.  It’s true.  Some of them even serve in government.  Scary thought!

And I think the greatest crime I’ve got against these intentionally stupid people, is the way they assume that all around them are stupid.  The way they think we don’t see through the bull.  And the bollocks.

Take this guy in Dubai for example, Benison Zento.  An Italian citizen, who had come over to Dubai, as a tourist.  He claims to have been stuck in a shopping mall for a year.  Unable to find the exit.  Living on fast foods only. 

Right!  Like we believe that.  If he was really that dense, he surely wouldn’t be let loose in the world on his own.

Apparently, on Wednesday, he simply turned up at the information desk, with his very tall tale.  Complete with dishevelled clothing, hanging on to a heavily damaged trolley.  Sprouting forth about his 13 month ordeal.  The horror.  The terror.

I mean, he was SHOPWRECKED after all.

But wait, it gets better – he was so traumatised by his ordeal, he’s been hospitalised. 

I kid you not.

The Italian ambassador to the UAE, Sergio Giorgini, told reporters, “He’s in a much better shape than one would expect after such a horrifying experience,”.

Clearly Mr Giorgini, is one for the books too.

I quite simply have no words.

And so, in close all I’d like to say is this:

Dear Benison Zinto – please go home to Italy.  The village wants their idiot back.

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  1. You've of course realized by now this was faux news from a satire site? :P