Tuesday 4 February 2014

My fantasy is to have two men at once

 
 

My fantasy is to have two men at once
4 February 2014

Having a fantasy life is normal.  Even necessary.  In fact it should be mandatory.  Every afternoon, at precisely 15h37, all people, across the world, should down tools, food, implements and all forms of responsibility, find a quiet spot, and simply dream for three minutes.  No less.  Though more time is encouraged, it is not always do-able and practical.  But three minutes should be the base standard minimal dreaming/fantasy time requirement.  It really should be mandated, duly notarised and implemented into law.

And thus, I would like to postulate:

My fantasy is to have two men at once.

One cleaning and one cooking.

Though here’s the tricky bit:  I’d like the cleaning one to be my boy Brad Pitt.  It would be quite fun to see him working up a sweat.  Hopefully forcing him to strip down to a worn pair of shorts, and definitely no shirt  And I’d like the cooking one to be my other boy, Johnny Depp.  In front of a hot stove, once again, enforcing a bit of a strip down.  Now funny enough, I can quite see Johnny cooking up a storm.  And very nicely at that too.

So there!  Not all fantasies are necessarily sleazy now are they?  Though if Brad and Johnny should express a wish, whilst cooking and cleaning…

Having someone to cook for me, would go really, really, really far in my fantasy list.  Just imagine the luxury, of not having to worry about mundane things like cooking rice, making sarmies, planning a meal, or shopping for one.

Personally, I’d be quite happy to hang on to my Grantie.  He’d be the man I’d hang on to for leisure time.  For fun stuff.  He’d still be the husband.  The one who knows my secrets and gets to see me naked.

And actually, I bet I can pretty accurately guess what he’d fantasize about too.

Chances are he’d want at least three women at once.  One to cook, namely the lusciously lipped Angelina.  One to clean, Playboy Bunny April 1987.  Just kidding, he actually fancied the one from May way more.  Nah, seriously just kidding.  I think he’d take the Michelle Pfeiffer of a few years ago.  And the third woman, would be permanently on tap to massage.  Though no happy endings, let’s be clear.

Anyway, seriously looking forward to 15h37 today.  I’ll be sitting alongside the cricket field, watching my youngest play a match.  And ever so silently, unbeknownst to anyone, I’ll quietly slip away for three minutes, into a wonderful world of my own.

Feeling pretty confident I’ll see my Dad today.  Feeling a dream walk on the beach coming along, whilst we’re yacking away.

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