Thursday, 27 February 2014

The thing about young kids in love is this...


The thing about young kids in love is this...
27 February 2014

When it comes to everlasting love, I think it is fair to say, that when looking for a partner, it is probably wise to set the bar quite high.  To look for someone, that you’re not only in love and in lust with.  But that you look for someone, you’ll be able to sustain a lifelong friendship with.  A partnership.  Someone that will interest you, for years and years to come.  Someone that you genuinely like.  At least most of the time.  Well, some of the time, would probably do too.

But perhaps these are the desires and aspirations of mature adults.  People set on looking for a life partner.  People set on making informed decisions, when it comes to the fickle science of love.  A difficult task indeed.

However, when it comes to young love, none of these considerations need to be counted.  Nor weighed.  In fact, they can be disregarded altogether.  Maybe this is because the goal of young love, is not the same as the goal of mature love.

The goal of young love, is that feeling of butterflies in your tummy.  That rush of overwhelming infatuation, that leaves you blind and deaf to the world around you.

And though my kids are still very young, I have seen snippets of this, in them already.  Albeit at different ages and stages.

And one thing clearly stands out – their perception, views and aspirations in and of love, are as different to ours, as night is to day.  As yin is to yang.  As Justin Bieber is to Jimi Hendrix.  As instant coffee, is to cappuccino.  As …  I’m sure you get the point.

And thus, in random order, not stating which of my kids did this:  My one son, after adoring the same little girl for three whole years, finally worked up the nerve to ask her out.  And wonder above wonders, she liked him back, and agreed to be his girlfriend.  He was practically jittery with excitement.  And upon asking him if he’d like to buy her a little chocolate or something, to commemorate the glorious day, he agreed.  And so off we went to get her a treat.  The following day, I thought of him so much, having to give his first little gift to a girl he liked so very, very much.  The second he came to the car, after school, I asked him, if he had given it to her.  Well, he replied, he tried to.  But the thing was this – she was Catholic, and had given up chocolate for Lent, and thus he ate the slab in front of her during school break.  No thought given as to giving it to her, to keep and enjoy after Lent was over.  Quite predictably, love did not last.  In fact, I’m surmising, the flavour of chocolate in his mouth, lasted longer than the love.  Can’t even begin to tell you how surprised he was.  Boys!

Another of my children, is also rather gaga at times (suppose you can guess which one).  Loads and loads of emotions.  And I find it rather interesting how easily affections are changed.  That one person, they think is the best thing in the world since sliced bread, can change into the unpopularity of chopped liver.  All in one day.  Affections are easily squandered and traded for the new best thing since sliced bread.  And poor old chopped liver is simply discarded – just like that.  I have cautioned and admonished about this, but I suppose it is all a part of growing up.  As long as there is no nastiness and meanness involved, what can one do?  The heart clearly wants, what the heart wants.

But of all of my children, when it comes to the art of love, one stands out and stands out by far.  He has always had a bevy of beauties, star eyed in his wake.  Taking it as his due, because he’s fabulous of course.  Why wouldn’t they like him?  He’s a  winning catch.  Well, in his opinion and mine of course.  And what makes it so very, very sweet, is his complete and utter open confidence.  The way it leaves him vulnerable, but he just doesn’t care.  He wears his heart on his sleeve.  Plain for all to see.  I hope he loves with this same optimistic abandonment all of his life.  That he doesn’t get hurt too much.  And that the one he finally gives his adult heart to, treats it as the treasure it will be.  Just yesterday, he brought home a little love letter from a girl.  The sweetest thing ever.  In it, she says, “I really like you a lot.  Do you like me too?” And then, rather cleverly, she drew a few boxes with replies, so that he could just tick his answer.  And the options were:  Yes, No, Ofcors and Absolutly.  Gotta love young love!

Which leads to another point – I was “speaking” to a friend of mine in Canada, about kids and love. And she was telling me about a friend of hers, who has a five year old little girl.  And the mom felt that the little girl had not risen the bar enough with regards to the little boy that she liked.  And so apparently, the conversation between mom and daughter went something like this:  “Alivia, you need to set your standards higher in love, he picks his nose.” And in reply to that, the little girl looked seriously at her mommy and says, "Yes, he does.  But Mom, (all stern), at least he doesn't eat it like some of the boys.". 

Well, when you put it like that, it’s clearly all about perspective.

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1 comment:

  1. hwis is sooooo sweet , H. It is wonderful to see how they grow in love, and also how very different they are! I still watch my kids and their spice, and see how differently all of us love!