Tuesday, 26 February 2013

When bad clothes happen to good people

When bad clothes happen to good people
26 February 2013

We've all been guilty of making fashion faux pas.  Or a fashion flop if you please.  Of succumbing to ill choices and having a clothing catastrophe.

And please note that this is not the same as a wardrobe malfunction.  Not the same as a broken heel, a spaghetti strap snap, a popped button or a busted zip.

I'm talking about far worse clothing calamities.  Oh you know the type.  And somehow or other, the eighties were very prolific in supplying us with these.  The worse decade for couture in my humble opinion at least. 

Clearly the fashion police were not vigilant during that particular decade.  Perhaps they were indulging in donuts, instead of arresting those committing crimes against cool clothes and the ability to look good.

And to illustrate my point, I will give you a few examples.  Firstly the grey blanket jacket instantly comes to mind.  You know the grey blankets we use for our dogs?  Well some clever twirp clearly thought, "Hey I'll wear my dog's blankie".   And then for some or other reason the fad cottoned (though I actually think it was polyester) on.

Then there was the firm belief that purple and yellow were a winning colour combo.  And accessorizing was big.  So, you'd wear a pair of purple pants, a yellow shirt, yellow shoes, purple socks.  And the creme de la creme?  Why purple plastic earrings of course!

But did the horrors stop there?  Oh no!  If only we were so lucky.  Sadly it got exponentially worse.

There was the stone washed jeans shocker.  Cringe worthy for sure.  And woollen ensembles also went down really well.  Leg warmers were worn as often as possible.  Short cut off fingerless gloves too.  Then there were stirrup pants of the horse riding variety.  Even though those who were wearing them did nothing equestrian at all.

But the piece de resistance?  The cherry on the cake?  Shoulder pads without a doubt.  Where was the appeal?

But perhaps the worst casualty of the 80's was our hair.  The crinkle cut look was in.  Big hair was, well big.  Teasing of hair was also very cool.  We invented the banana clip and that one really makes me shudder.  And simply everyone permed their hair.  Even those with already curly hair gave it a bash.  And few things will ever out-gross the mullet or hair tail.

But give the 80's their due.  They weren't really all that bad.

It's not as if the speedo's their fault after all.

Because let's be honest is any single item of clothing more grim?

No, I don't think so either.  At least on that we agree.
Ah yes - the hair tail
This one's a triple whammy - stone washed denims, fringe and really big hair
Fingerless gloves - faux leather too, with studs - nice
 Oh super gorgeous! Black stirrup pants, short-ish shirt and court low heel shoes - class. Pure class.
That's a whole lotta shoulder pads right there - pretty intense

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