Friday, 2 November 2012

Dear Powers that be...

Dear Powers that be.....
2 November 2012

Dear powers that be

I, Helene Cloete, would hereby like to lodge an official request:  I am finding myself unable to cope with the hectic demands on my time and am urgently and desperately in need of help. 

Now, I do not claim to know the answers to the universe and am happy to admit that I am unable to solve the world’s problems.  But just this once, for little old me, I’d like for you to consider throwing me a friggin bone.  I know that I am not alone and a sole sufferer of this time dilemma.  There are many of us out there.  So, I’ve put my thoughts together and come up with a few suggestions, in no particular order.  Please see this as constructive criticism.  It in no way reflects on the marvellous job you’re doing already, what with the billions of us out there.  And I know your plate is kinda full, but please, just see what you can do.  So, here goes:

1)      Have you ever considered adding a few extra hours to the day?  This would hugely assist me in getting through my workload.  Enabling me to fully complete a day’s tasks and chores.  With never a carry over to the following day, making me start with a backlog already.

2)      I have always seen sleep as a ridiculous waste of time.  And though I enjoy sleeping and the mostly refreshing feeling after enough hours of sleep, I feel that we could better utilise the hours at our disposal if we were not unconscious for a few hours each night.  Just think of this logically.  If the need for sleep was erased, point number one above, would not even need to be dealt with.  With one simple small act, the banishment of a night’s rest, the day would gain hours already. 

3)      There is strong appeal to an extra set of hands.  Just think of the advantages.  I am able to multi-task already.  But with the added benefit of two extra hands, heck, let’s make it four, I would be able to, with exponential speed, fly through my day.  One pair can make sarmies for school.  Another brush knots out of Amber’s long hair.  And the third pair could mix a mean cheese sauce for over our cauliflower for supper.  Come to think of it, I could do with even a few pairs more.  A fourth pair could mark Cole’s homework.  A fifth pair could quickly bbm my mom.  A sixth pair could assist Luke with some urgent computer need.  And that magical seventh pair could type away at a blog.  See!  All sorted!

4)      But hang on a wee minute.  Who would “drive” all these hands?  Surely another head would also be needed.  So, give it a thought.  It’s just a suggestion.  Though finding clothes to wear might be a bit challenging, I’m sure we’ll work our way around this.

5)      Perhaps the wisest course of action, would be a clone!  Aha!  The perfect solution.  If Dolly the sheep could be doubled and cloned, just think of an extra Helene roaming this world.  Quality control would be key in the process.  And you would have to ensure that a copy of me, is just as awesome as the original version.  I would hate to be a bit “slo-o-o-wer”.  You know, and end up making silly mistakes, like shoes on wrong feet, or clothes back to front.  And while we’re at it, the very nature of cloning, enables more than one copy not true?  So perhaps we could do a few versions of me.  One for Grant and for each of my kids.  One who does cooking.  One who will perhaps study further – psychology and journalism both interest me.  One would work full time to earn a bit of extra cash.  One could pick up skills that I’m lacking, like gardening and baking.  One would permanently be on holiday, going off on wild adventures.  One would be tied to the computer, blogging full time.  Another would spend absolute aeons with my large extended family.  And so the list goes on and on.  Quite a marvellous idea and one that holds a lot of appeal.  But just a suggestion, if you please.  I think it is critical that we don’t make copies of copies as consecutive versions might get watered down and weak.

So, please.  Do give this some thought.  I’m sure it is do-able and within your reach.

I eagerly await your reply with anticipation and I’m sure I’ll meet with a favourable response for you.

Your sincerely,


This could seriously work for me, though I do think it's a bit short of the mark in terms of the volume of arms. A few more would be even better.
And don't I very conveniently also have a Superman shirt?


  1. What you need is a wife! She would take care of A LOT!

  2. What you need is a wife! She would take care of A LOT!