Saturday, 28 July 2012

Big in Japan

Big in Japan
28 July 2012

So my Grantie is not entirely thrilled with the fact that I have started a blog.  Lots of mumbling that nothing is sacred anymore and that I’m sharing everything with the world now.  That is completely preposterous!  Why to date I haven’t mentioned any personal details!  Not once has the size of his “member” come “up”.  Or the frequency of “relations” so to speak.  See, nothing personal.  So I’ve mentioned his bald head a few times.  Big deal.  It’s not like it’s a secret.  I mean he even shaves his head to make it look more bald –  a fact that makes him look exactly like Dr Evil (it’s way cool when he raises his little pinkie finger and says “one million dollars”).  And I call him Grantie – hardly difficult to deduce that.  I have a thing for nicknames – all my kids have them.  So let’s get them out of the way, once and for all.  Since birth, Luke has been “Lukie-Poo”.  Amber has a few, but her main one is “Amber-Berry”, which in turn led to “Berry”, “Berry-Belle”, “Berrie-tjie”, “Puddingkie”, “Pudding-Pie” and so the list goes on.  And for some or other reason, Cole has like a million nicknames.  We call him “Colekie-Molekie”, “Cole-Cuddlebug”, “Moenkelkie-Poenkelkie”, “Moenkie”, “Biggie-Wiggie”, “Biggie”, “Moenkel”, “Bigs”, etc.  I really can’t say what a “Moenkelkie-Poenkelkie” is, except that to me, he looked just like one when he was a baby and somehow the name has stuck.  When Amber was little she called them her ‘nicknacknames’ and she still loves it when I call her by her nicknames.

The reason I started the blog, is very simple – I love writing.  And I very often do little newsletter type e-mails for my family with anecdotes and stories of where we’re at with the kids, etc.  It started off with me mailing them to family, and then some of them got mailed to friends as well.  There had been suggestions and requests for me to start a blog and people seemed to be liking the stuff I wrote, so I thought, what the hell and took the plunge.  Imagine my huge surprise when I started though.  Grant (that’s Grantie to me) was away on business in Namibia for a few nights, so I had some time on my hands and with that in mind, my blog was “born” on the evening of the 18th of July.  I sent a mail out to family and close friends, letting them know and I initially posted 8 old stories.  So on Thursday morning when I woke up, I checked the blog site and was blown away when I saw that I had received 169 hits in less than 12 hours!  I couldn’t believe it!  And now, 10 days down the line and with 14 posts, I have had 1 640 hits in total.  The majority of those are obviously from South Africa, but I’ve also had loads of hits from America and the UK and who would have known that I’d be “big” in Russia? 
But to be honest, the whole blog thing is hugely scary.  The writing bit is easy.  It’s the whole “putting-yourself-out-there-thing” that I find fear inducing.  Never sure how stuff will be received and I still haven’t bought in to the concept that people actually like what I’m writing.  Up to now, it’s all been pretty personal in any rate.  I can’t describe how much I’m enjoying it though.  I love the writing.  I love the stats and being able to check how often the stories have been read and in which countries.  And let’s be honest, I’m loving all the positive feedback.  Who wouldn’t?  I am human and praise is good.

In all the time that I’ve written over the years, I’ve never ever sent my Grantie (that's Grant to you) any of my stories.  Somehow his opinion means more than anyone else’s and I’m always worried that he won’t like it.  Not sure how well I’ll do with criticism from him with regards to the writing, so I’ve avoided it altogether.  In the past he always got to read the stuff after the fact, when people sent comments via e-mail or spoke about it, and in that way he checked it out too.  I still don’t send him stuff, but now he comes home from work and tells me how he laughed at one of the stories, or he lies in bed giggling whilst he’s reading it on his tablet.   Evidently he’s checking the blog out too. 
Which brings me back to the start of my letter today – Grant’s concerns that nothing in our lives will be sacred anymore, as I’m sharing it all with “the world”.  Firstly, it’s not "the world".  I reckon that at least half of the hits I’ve had can be attributed to my mom and my sister.  Secondly, Grant has asked if he can please first read my posts before I share them with “the world”.  Me-thinks that he thinks I’ll let him edit stuff.  Ja well, good luck with that.  Ain’t gonna happen.  Guessing he’ll have lots to say about today’s post, but it will be too late.  Sorry for you!  And let’s not forget, I never released any personal details (his pin code on his ABSA card is 43789) and he currently weighs “70”kg’s. 

I’m still unsure how those Russians found me.  And I’m pretty convinced that they’re not able to read the blog due to the language barrier.  But on the odd off chance that they can…”Mother Russia, comrade, vodka” – covering all my bases.  And perhaps, once I’m “big in Japan”, I’ll truly know that I’ve hit the big time.  After all – the true purpose of my blog is pretty simple.  All I’m asking for is fame, fortune and earthly riches.  And praise – lots and lots of praise!


  1. Hilarious - loved this post!

  2. "Grant - 70kgs" wishfull thinking Helene ;) x