Really, really missing my Dad today

 

Really, really missing my Dad today

12 March 2024

I’m really, really missing my Dad today. I think about him all the time, and that’s a given. But today I ache.

 

Not quite sure what brought it on. It’s not like it’s a birthday or a special occasion, it just is. But perhaps there have been some hints along the way.

 

Yesterday an old band member from the very beginning days of the Blues Broers, posted a pic on Facebook. My Dad is actually pretty much completely out of the pic, as he wasn’t the focus. But even before spotting John’s tag, I just knew it was him. Wearing his beloved suspenders, playing the drums ( swear I even recognize him from the way he’s poised with the drumsticks in his hands) and the hint of dark hair. In addition there was the Smokehouse Blues sign up against the wall and we had so many awesome jols there. The whole pic simply made my heart squeeze.

 

Then there’s the fact that My Grantie is away for two nights. Now, I’m a strong independent woman. Don’t think I’m particularly needy and a bit of alone time (with three kids in the house) is always good for the soul. But I do so love My Grantie and spending time with him. So yes, we’ve spoken multiple times since he’s left yesterday, on the phone and via WhatsApp. Yet he’s not here. So maybe that also played a role.

 

But what really tipped me off, was music. I’ve really been obsessed with Spotify of late. And get great enjoyment from constantly adding songs. And I was thinking back to some of the songs that we used to listen to while I was growing up and still living at home. Our home was never quiet. It always felt as though my life at 29 St James Street in Somerset West had a constant soundtrack in the background. And so many of my memories of my childhood are linked to songs.

 

So I’ve been diving in, adding some old songs that I haven’t heard for many, many years. Songs from my parents’ favourite records, which obviously became ours too. And then CD’s, when that was the thing. I did a search yesterday and added a few just such tunes and loved it. Made me think of my Dad, as I could picture him humming along, sometimes singing, dancing and the never ending drumming of his fingers. Either against his legs, or on a counter or tabletop. Sure it’s an inherent drummer’s thing.

 

And then this morning while driving the boys to work, I randomly remembered David Hewitt’s African Tapestry. One of the very first CD’s my Dad bought. We all marveled at the crystal clear clarity when he bought it. CD collecting was just starting to be a thing, so our musical choices were limited if we wanted to listen to a CD. And right from the very first listen, we all loved it. Remember when you used to listen to a complete album from start to finish? Over and over again. No skipping of songs, no other random artists and genre’s thrown in. Just the pure enjoyment of listening to one exceptionally talented artist who has honed and crafted his skill.

 

Was listening while still on the way to drop the boys off. Felt a bit heartsore, listening to the first two tracks. But then I got to song number three (https://open.spotify.com/track/5sqthYJA5Cp5r7kHyodxtA?si=TGLxebe3SlOdmynGKv6hdg&utm_source=copy-link). And it was a doozy. Absolutely floored me. My heart was racing and I was mere seconds away from depositing the boys at work. But the minute they got out of the car, I amped the volume up as much as I could, skipped to the beginning of song three and listened to it all over again. And I frigging bawled like a baby. Such a wash of emotion, that it completely took me by surprise. Was holding thumbs that every single robot I would encounter would be green, as I didn’t want to make eye contact with a vendor or domestic worker handing out contact details, looking for a job. Had it down to a fine art. Would slow down without stopping, timing the robot change so I would never have to be stationary. I’m quite gifted actually.

 

Felt emotional all the way home. And cried freely, cause it’s healing. Just giving in to the feelings. And then I saw my Amber-Berry when I got home and that was it. She hugged me so long and hard. Then dutifully indulged me by listening to the song with me again. She’s a really good egg.

 

Going to a special farm when you are just 46 years old is way too young. Frank D Frost was larger than life. Flamboyant, colourful, eccentric, talented, a gifted artist, a brilliant drummer, unconventional, a visionary, extremely funny and delightfully quirky. Maybe that’s my perspective as a daughter. Yet, I’ve known so many people and just know that he was magnetic and that people were drawn to him. He just had something about him that was intriguing.

 

So whilst working today I’ve been listening to a never ending stream of music that reminds me of him. Looking at his beautiful artworks in my home and admiring them afresh. Saw his green eyes in the mirror this morning when I brushed my teeth. And I’m thinking what else I can do to make me feel close and connected to him. Perhaps I need to get myself some zoo biscuits, his favourite treat. Or maybe the answer is to have a few Gauloises Plain cigarettes? Though I’m fairly certain that I’d keel over if I tried that.

 

So here’s what I’m thinking. Music soothes the soul. And it’s really good to remember him. He deserves that. So I’ll continue my Frank Frost inspired musical journey. There is just so much to tap into, the possibilities are near endless – The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, The Blues Broers, Ray Charles, The Blues Brothers soundtrack, BB King, Edith Piaf, The Police, Tears for Fears, Jethro Tull, Eric Clapton, eVoid, Crowded House, John Lee Hooker and some classical songs as well. Will be hard to start to scratch the surface, as the musical world is my oyster. As it was his.

 

In addition, I think it’s time to watch an old home movie again. Will be so wonderful to see him and hear his voice again.

 

Miss you Frankie-Baby. You were something special. Love you long time.

 

A-hummuna-hummuna-hah!

 

My very beautiful Mom and Dad. Pic taken at Kleinbaai many moon ago.

Proudly showing off their first grandchild, my Luke

My Dad absolutely adored Luke. So sad that he didn't get to meet his six other grandchildren. He would've been putty in their hands.

A rare gem. A pic of me with both of my Dads.

Frankie-Baby - the nutter with the drum held aloft

He loved Oppikoppi and having a street named after him was such a highlight and thrill for him

The pic that started it all. Thanks John Frick for the share. Think you mentioned that someone called Steve Reitz took the photo. Unmistakably my Dad in the back.