Sharing with my lovely husband

 

Sharing with my lovely husband

8 March 2024

Aaaaahhh! Marriage. It’s all about compromise and sharing right?

 

And you have to choose your battles on what to compromise on. As well as on what to share.

 

Yip, I don’t mind compromising and watching this weirdly intriguing documentary on identical twins given different diets and seeing the impacts on their health. One eating strictly vegan and the other eating “normally” (see what I did there?). Would I ever choose to watch this on my own. Hell no! That’d be weird and it doesn’t interest me in the slightest. But he’s kind of keen and it’s an easy compromise and now that I’m watching it, I’m super intrigued to know how John is going to adapt to his vegan diet and if Jovan is going to thrive on his “normal” diet (yet again, see what I did there?). I mean seriously, why would anyone ever voluntarily give up bacon? And as for Carolyn and Rosalyn…

 

However, I do not want to watch “yet-another-WW2-documentary-or-movie-on-the-horrors-of-war”. Strange, but true. So, bite me! Doesn’t mean I’m not horrified by past atrocities, WW2 in particular. But it’s grueling, heartbreaking and I know how it ends. Not making light of it. I just don’t choose to watch it often. Very well aware of what happened without the help of additional vivid images, videos, audio and survivor stories. People suffered unparalleled cruelty. I’ve watched lots of stuff about it in the past. Some of them brilliant, But, I’ve gone there. Before I graduated in the art of compromising.

 

This is exactly why I don’t even ask him to watch Virgin River or Bridgerton with me. He’d hate it. Probably as much as I’d hate anything war related. It’s a compromise. See! Now don’t get me wrong. I know exactly how Virgin River or Bridgerton are going to end as well. Which is exactly my point and why I choose to watch those. Girl meets boy. Usually a delightful meet-cute. Evil past lover resurfaces. A plethora of misunderstandings ensue. The occasional accidental pregnancy gets thrown in. Picturesque scenery. Male eye candy. Frequent interfering and meddling parents. Always a fabulously quirky best friend. Song and dance thrown in liberally. Near catastrophic parting. Followed by joyful reunion and lots of kissing. The end. Absolutely perfect! Who wouldn’t choose that?

 

Now occasionally, My Grantie deems a romantic type chick-flick worthy of indulging me. But it’s a challenge. Is he being sweet and thoughtful? Yes, very much so. However, his unsolicited bloody commentary is a real mood breaker and passion killer. “What an idiot”, “Nobody says stuff like that” (Yes, Baby, they actually do. Did you not just hear Noah in the Notebook say it? I mean for goodness sake!), and probably my least favourite – “Stuff like that doesn’t happen in real life”. Talk about a buzz kill. Definitely not chill AT ALL!

 

So, we watch stuff that we both like. A lot! And believe you me, there’s loads of middle ground. Just taking a simple example like watching a commonly enjoyed series. But compromise is not just about TV. It means occasionally making him his favourite dish. I can’t even stomach the smell. But I do it, cause I love him and it makes his heart so incredibly happy. Doesn’t mean I don’t make something else for me and the rest of the family to eat. Look, I love the guy, but I ain’t eating that.

 

I think the same can be said for sharing. I’d like to think I’m generous by nature. So will always give him the best of everything to my ability. And my favourite is when he doesn’t even know it at all. Just a small kindness. Nope, I really can’t even think about having any more biltong/chocolate/nuts/juice, etc. It’s all you, Baby! I enjoy it most when he’s blissfully unaware that I’m doing this. Just because. Now I’m not into sharing that much when it comes to KFC. Hey, I’m not a saint. One has to draw the line somewhere. And everyone’s got their vices. Mine is still the Colonel’s very best blend of eleven herbs and spices. Mildred, my Kentucky loving alter-ego, is a beast! And that chick’s got an insatiable appetite when it comes to that particular weakness of hers. She's voracious! Look, I don’t question it. I just feed her.

 

But my Grantie so generously shares with me too. He lets me sleep on his pillow with him and share the exact same spot on the bed. Hey, I’m a cuddler. And absolutely nothing in this world beats spooning. Btw, I like being the big spoon and hugging. Just so you know. He knows this and he knows it makes my heart go pitter patter. And you know the old happy-wife-happy-life adage, right? Does he die of heat and most probably claustrophobia? Yes, he does. But him getting hot, clearly translates as me being hot. Obviously! So I ain’t complaining.

 

Another excellent example of sharing is jelly sweets. Lawdie, I love me a gummy sweet. You can suck on it. You can chew it and gobble it up. Or you can use your front teeth (obviously keeping your mouth closed) and meticulously chop it in halves and then quarters and then eights and sixteens and then … And then you can try to squish all of the bits into one side of your mouth, count the bits with your tongue inside your mouth and move them to the other side of your mouth. All without them melting first. I think this is a under-appreciated skill. With regards to the counting, I might have a secret maths thing going on.

 

So when it comes to gummy sweets, nothing beats a red or black, right? The juiciest and sweetest flavours. My best! I mean who likes the measly yellows or greens? Well, oddly My Grantie does. Why would anyone willingly choose yellow and green sweets? Well, we’ve got a theory. His mom absolutely loves yellow and green sweets, so he reckons he was deprived as a kid. Any mixed sweets from his youth, and his mom would swop out yellows and greens with him. Which means, that he’s got an unquenchable thirst for those colours. And I sooooo don’t. So I get Grant’s black and reds and he gets my nasty colours. Yippieeeee! This is just little old me. Winning at life. Yay! Btw, does anyone else find the brown Smarties boring? I mean they taste the same as the other colours. And I know it’s just a colourant that they add to make them look pretty. But, brown? Seriously! It just smacks of having no imagination. And lack of effort. Come on Nestlé! Up your game already!

 

Sharing and compromise definitely makes life infinitely sweeter (😉). In fact, it makes all of life sweeter. Especially when it comes to red and black gummy sweets. In addition, it makes me happy. The fact that it makes others happy too, is a wonderful additional side bonus. Now don’t even get me started on the magical ripple effect of kindness. Life changing!