I was a much better parent before I had kids

 

I was a much better parent before I had kids

19 March 2024

Truth be told, I was a much better parent before I had actual kids. Now I know it might sound odd, but it really is true.

 

This of course in my mind's eye, before my own little cherubs were born.

 

I was going to cook healthy meals. Maybe even grow organic fruit and vegetables. My little angels wouldn’t be submitted to the horrors of processed foods, not to mention take-aways. Sweets and sugary drinks? Taboo!

 

My kids were going to be great linguists, speaking many exotic languages. They were going to play numerous instruments. Excell in chess. Mathematics a mere breeze, hardly challenging at all. They were all going to absolutely love reading and embrace the sweet joy of getting lost in a good book. Some non-fiction works of course. With the odd fictional work thrown in should they want to unwind from absorbing oodles of knowledge.

 

I was sure I'd birth at least one lawyer and one doctor. Possibly two. There'd be a ballerina, possibly a horse enthusiast. Without a doubt a budding young chef. An orthodontist was potentially on the cards. And I was fairly certain there would be an engineer and an architect too. In fact, they’d all excel and have multiple career paths. Champions of industry, scientists, authors, great inventors of, well things. And of stuff too.

 

They’d choose healthy living. Abstain from smoking and drinking. Exercise regularly. Which I suppose was technically a given, as they’d be brilliant on the sport’s field too. Spare time would be spent helping the needy and doing lots of community work. Volunteering for charities and doing fundraising for those who would benefit too. Excursions up in Africa were potentially in their future, as well as trips abroad to further their careers. Well they’d have to, as they’d be in such demand.

 

They would hang out in good crowds. Choose their friends wisely. Be kind to the elderly. And just be all round awesome people.

 

And then I had the little suckers. And realised that having imaginary kids was a very far cry from the reality.

 

I remember a little Luke eating chicken nuggets in the bath when he was a toddler, cause he wouldn’t eat anything else. And whilst in the bath he couldn’t escape, so feeding was easier. Not to even mentioning that cleaning up was a breeze! He loved raw spaghetti and a berry juice cordial, no doubt laden with sugars and additives. And so the list goes on. I have stories like this of all three of my kids. Because that’s what real life is like.

 

Truth be told, all I ever really wanted was healthy, nice, well adjusted kids. Kids who were kind. Who made good choices, yet learnt from the bad choices along the way. Kids who could converse easily with anyone, were kind to animals, friendly to everyone.

 

And somehow, I got very, very lucky. I got just that.

 

Cause truth be told, there are plenty of doctors out there. Lawyers and architects too.

 

And maybe I wasn’t such a bad parent after all. They’ve all turned out remarkably well. Despite the handicap of having me as their mom.

 

So in hindsight, my ambitions were not only spot on. But I achieved them. Over and over again.

 

Now if only My Grantie would indulge me and let me have another. Sure, my eggs are most likely old and way past their sell by date. But if I could turn out three awesome kids at such a relatively young age, just imagine what I could achieve if I set my mind to it. As a far more experienced fifty one year old.

 

The sky is the limit. So about that potential accountant…