I took my wedding ring off. Once.

 

I took my wedding ring off. Once.

26 April 2024

I’m rather fond of My Grantie. In fact, I absolutely adore him.

 

In addition, I’m also partial to the institution of marriage and all that it represents. Maybe because I’m in a very happy marriage. Funny that! I love being one half of a partnership and being married to my best friend. I love the symbolism attached to marriage and as such I’ve never taken my wedding ring off. My Grantie put it on my finger at our beautiful wedding on the 6^th of April 1996, in my grandparents’ garden, in front of all of our gathered friends and family. And it’s a day that is forever immortalized in my mind as being absolutely golden. Every single thing was perfect! It’s no surprise then that I’ve never taken my ring off.

 

But perhaps, that’s not 100% true. Cause I did in fact take it off. Just once. And I didn’t really want to do it then either. I don’t remember the details too clearly, but I do remember crying a lot when I was forced to do just that.

 

I had always wanted a big family. And am so happy that I got to have at least three beautiful kids. In a perfect world, I’d love to have more. But alas, My Grantie was never keen and that ship has clearly sailed by now. My eggs are no doubt hard boiled and way past their sell by date. Which is a pity. If I thought that there was any chance of possibly sneaking another one past him, I’d give it my very best shot. Believe you me!

 

Not long after Luke was born, I was already eagerly looking forward to having another baby. But I had thought that 3 years would probably be a good age gap, so I was willing to work round about that schedule. Very patient on my part if you ask me.

 

And we were over the moon when I fell pregnant, right on schedule and our 2^nd baby was due on the 28^th of February 2001. I remember being so excited to announce our happy news. Wanting to shout it from the rooftop. Telling everyone that I could in person and phoning those that I couldn’t see to tell them too. Such an awesome time in one’s life.

 

Until it’s not. And you go for a regular scan and the doctor says that the baby is looking a bit small and they then spend a disproportionate amount of time looking around on the sonar screen. Being ominously quiet while they’re doing just that. Finally announcing that a follow-up appointment was needed just two weeks later. So I was a bit worried, but it would be fine. It would all work out. I was convinced of that.

 

But alas, the follow-up scan was not the joyous occasion that I had eagerly anticipated in advance. Sadly there was no heartbeat and I remember the doctor telling us this. And this awful, heavy, dreadful silence filling the room. For a seemingly very long time. Complete and utter disbelief. I simply could not comprehend that it was possible. Please say it wasn’t so.

 

Unfortunately it definitely was and a few days later I was scheduled to go in for a D & C at our local hospital. Not a nice experience at all. It wasn’t that it was physically painful. I don’t recall that at all. But emotionally I was completely and utterly distraught. Remember shortly before going into surgery, when the nurses came around and asked me to remove my wedding ring. I was gutted. I begged them to let me keep it on, as it meant that My Grantie would still be with me. But they wouldn’t budge. Protocol, policies, procedure and such was quoted. Which I do understand. They’re merely covering themselves, but it was symbolic to me too.

 

And so I took my wedding ring off once. But never again.

 

When I was wheeled out of surgery, it just so happened that my house doctor was also in the pre and post recovery room. He is a very, very dear friend, whom I love very much. And just seeing his familiar face meant the world to me. But it also opened the flood gates. Somehow think it was the first proper ugly cry I had had since my Dad had passed away two years previously. He assured me that all would be fine in the end, that we would have another baby and that he was very sorry for our loss. And I’ll always remember his empathetic kindness.

 

Of course, he was right. A few months afterwards, I fell pregnant again. And Amber was born with a mere 3 year and 10 month age gap between her and Luke.

 

One of the strangest things that I can recall with vivid clarity from that day, is that before and after my surgery, I was in the maternity ward at the hospital. I suppose it could also be called the gynaecological ward. And though I do know that it is not intentional, I thought that it was a bit cruel. Before and after my surgery I could hear babies crying. Lots of happy new fathers and siblings in the hallway outside of my room. New grandparents too. It was such a happy and wonderful place for them. And it struck me that there was clearly a lapse in compassion in the medical system.

 

Anyway, things obviously worked out the way they were meant to all along. Maybe it made me appreciate my kids all that more.

 

I still think about that baby every so often. Especially close to his or her due date. But the ache is no longer as harsh or as fresh as it had been. I still have some of the early scans pics and a few clothing items that we had bought. But time mellows things. And I did end up fortunate enough to have two more babies thereafter.

 

In hindsight I’ve thought it’s also uniquely symbolic that I did something so unique for that baby. Something that I didn’t do for any of my others. I took my wedding ring off. And for a small slice of time, it was just the two of us.

 

Now as for my Grantie, he’s never taken his ring off either. Because he can’t. His wedding band consists of two rings that are linked together. And they’ve become so tight that there is no way he could get it off again. Which suits me just fine…

 

 

 

 

Trashy Russian Wedding Pics

Trashy Russian Wedding Pics
20 April 2014

Man, I am probably the biggest fan of weddings you’re ever likely to meet.

I simply love everything about weddings.  From the beautiful bride and groom, the décor, fabulous venues, dolled-up-guests, delicious food, moving service, to emotional speeches.  I just love the whole shabang.

And probably best bit of all?  No two weddings are the same.  Every single one, has beauty and magnificence.  Something really special.  From big weddings to small and intimate.  From casual to smart.  From breakfast weddings to dancing night time ones.  From expensive shindigs, to more budget wise alternatives.  They’re all spectacular! 

I’ve been to many, many weddings.  And I’ve been a bridesmaid or flower girl probably about ten times.  Each wedding I’ve ever been to, has a special little place in my heart.

Though I have also seen the odd clanger at weddings, that have on occasion made me laugh.  The odd dodgy speech, or drunk elderly uncle or random wedding guest, and then there’s the frequent bizarre outfit too.

I firmly believe that all brides have a glow about them.  A bit of magic that shines through on their wedding day.

Movies about weddings are fabulous – yes, I’m a chick.  Therefore I love girly romantic wedding movies.  How surprising.  Not!

And then following my blog post about the 29 Most Awkward Family Photos, a Facebook friend sent me a link to the most dreadful Russian Wedding Pics ever.

And I am happy to report that I was not disappointed.  At times, I laughed out loud.  At other times I gasped.

How was this possible?  What were they thinking?  Were they even thinking?  And why didn’t anyone caution them?

Looking at some of these “gems”, I wonder how many of these people are going to look back at their wedding photos one day and go, “Good Lord!  Why did we do that?”.

But given the wonderfully happy faces on these pics, I reckon most likely none of them will.

In years to come, they’ll haul out their wedding album and say,

“Svetlana, my love.  We did good.  I like photo of me lifting car, wearing light suit.”

Or maybe, “Sergei, you look like strong man.  I like photograph of us on bird on water, like Swan Lake.”

And let's not forget, "Yuri, I like picture of you and me (Olga), dressed like centaurs. Pity we can't see more of your light coloured suit."

Yip, they’ll probably still love their “stylish”, and unique wedding pics.

Russians like to roll like that.  I think.

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Not really a classy or classic wedding pic per se. But each to their own, I say.

 

By the looks of things, her man will do whatever she says. She clearly has weight advantage over him. Perhaps more disturbing than his impalement-with-French-roll, is the R14,99 Crazy Store Crowns. And rather interestingly, they're both wearing crowns - she's not doing the dainty and delicate tiara bit at all. Good luck Boris!

 

Right! Lovely little shot to add to the wedding album. Just imagine granny scrolling through it and coming across this little gem. Sweet!

 

Now I could be wrong here, but it looks as if "she's" shifting her package a bit to the left. There is a small possibility that Anatalya is in fact Anatoly.

Russians are known for their fondness of ballet. And I suppose this lovely couple is no different. Therefore, for their wedding pic, they decided to depict, "Swan Lake".

 

Ring finger - middle finger. Po-tay-toe/Po-tah-toe.

 

Eish! Interesting. Hen pecked much?

 

Wallowing in the mud, in your wedding dress. Sporting a diminutive crown, and a fake golden arrow. Nice one!

 

All I can say is WHY???

 

Now, now - couldn't we perhaps have waited until after the reception? And the photographer had left?

 

Ain't she a princess

 

Beautiful! I'm thinking she possibly works in a club catering to gentlemen folk. Mostly likely dancing with poles.

 

For the love of all that is holy!!! What is the meaning of this???

 

Creepy. Just plain creepy! His expression and super feminine diamond studded rings are really odd too.

 

Whatever blows your hair back...

 

Doing the locomotive. Can anyone possibly explain why the bride has an extra pair of legs???

 

Aaahhh! A classic shot of the bridal party running away from the chapel, an explosion, and the transformers. Well why wouldn't they?

 

Oh, but to have a set of wheels like that!

 

Is this not perhaps a crime scene? Are those bodies or are they still breathing?

 

Yet another bridal-party-running-away pic. This time, they're running away from Gulliver... I mean Grigor.

What's with all these super skinny grooms wearing light suits? In addition, is there some or other weird auto-erotic thing going on? Lots of posing with cars.

 

This just plain looks wrong - what's in that cup? The fountain of youth?

 

The small best man and bigger bridesmaid were obviously both awarded the honour of being class captains of school, during the week of the wedding. Look at their beautiful red sashes of power.

 

Aaahhh yes! The accordion - how lovely... Now there's an instrument that simply shouts, "hip and trendy"!

 

The bride sporting an interesting and rather "sexy" look while posing for the camera - over finger foods

 

Wow! That's a whole lotta bling! Love the way simply everyone is dressed smartly in black suits, and Vladmir on the right is simply wearing his jeans and black leather jacket. Though it is entirely possible that he was just an innocent bystander walking past, and they needed another set of hands to hold some more bling.

 

This is happy - never seen a more glowing bride...

 

This is my favourite pic. Sincerely. They just look so happy. Guessing their marriage will be filled with lots of laughter and love. Bless!

The Lombard Wedding Flash Mob

 

The Lombard Wedding Flash Mob
31 December 2013

So when an awesome cousin decides to marry an absolutely amazing woman, there’s only one logical thing to do.  If you’re a Lombard.  Come from a large and eccentric, musically gifted family.  Have the wedding at a family home.  Have a flair for the dramatic.  And a romantic heart at your core.

You have a flash mob.  Lombard style.

I had this crazy idea of doing a flash mob, for my cousin Gareth and Nicole’s wedding.  Yes, I’m an absolutely romantic at heart.  And weddings are simply my best.

I gave it a wee bit of thought and decided to ask my aunt, Bettie (she’s my mom’s fabulous sister, and the groom, Gareth’s mom – confused yet?), for her opinion.

Luckily she’s a Lombard too.  And thus also has both a flair for the dramatic and a romantic heart as well.  She immediately said, “Hell, yes!”.

And thus my plan was hatched. 

It was made simple by a few things.  Number one – for a successful flash mob, you need numbers.  And if numbers are the game, then the Lombards are sooo the right family.  Secondly, seeing as dancing was not the forte of the majority of people (myself included), a musical flash mob would be the order of the day.  And if musicality is the game, then the Lombards are sooo the right family.  Thirdly, you’d need people who are game and eager to do something fun.  Yet again, the Lombards are sooo the right family.

But here’s the thing – Gareth and Nicole, actually live in Joburg.  This is where they grew up.  Where they went to school.  Where they study and work.  Where their nuclear families (my uncle, aunt, etc.) lives.  As well as Nicole’s family.  However, the majority of the Lombard family lives in the Cape.  A Joburg wedding, made sense.  But a Cape Town wedding made sense too.  And thus, on the 13^th of December, to great pomp and ceremony, Gareth and Nicole were married in Joburg – in a fancy, special, awesome wedding celebration.  Attended by those in Joburg, as well as a few Cape clan members.

There was always going to be a double celebration though.  And the Cape wedding was scheduled for the 21^st of December.  A Bedouin tent was hired, the food was catered, tables and chairs were hired, bunting was strung, and the bride and groom, including their little Cape family flower girls, would be decked in full wedding regalia.  As they would already be technically married, there was no need for a full ceremony.  Yet a few words would have to be said.  The bride would walk down the make-shift aisle in the garden of my grandparents’ home, with her attendants on tow.  On the arm of my grandfather.  Speeches would be made.  Toasts would be said.  Champagne would be drunk.

This provided a perfect opportunity for a flash mob.  The idea was further shared with a select few chicks in the family.  All were on board.  My aunt asked me what song I had in mind.  And truly, there was only one option.  The Beatles music, had always had special significance for Gareth and Nicole.  In fact, the song, “Something” was the song played as Nicole walked down the aisle – at both weddings.  And thus, “All you need is love”, by The Beatles, was the perfect choice.  It is also one of the most used songs at wedding flash mobs.  In addition, chances were, every single person, including my grandparents, would know the song.

I started a WhatsApp group called, “NOT Gareth and Nicole”.  The first rule of “NOT Gareth and Nicole”, was to not tell Gareth and Nicole.  The second rule of “NOT Gareth and Nicole” was to not tell Gareth and Nicole.  Every single family member was invited.  And all were thrilled.  The best singer of the lot, my cousin Roxy Lombard, was unanimously chosen as the chosen one, for singing the main lyrics.  My cousin, Jacques Lombard, would play the acoustic guitar.  And the rest of us?  Well, we’d do the chorus line, and finger click for percussion.  As one can imagine, the WhatsApp conversations, flew back and forth.  With many debates – do we use the PA system or not, do we use the backing track, do we use more than one guitar, etc. etc. etc.  In the end, we decided with simplest is best.

For those family members at Kleinbaai (the family holiday house), we did a quick dry run, three days before the wedding.  Just to try it out.  This done without Roxy and Jacques.  It sounded magnificent.  Acoustic and slightly acapella was clearly the way to go.  The night before the wedding, I quickly printed out word sheets for everyone and we set up a rehearsal time for 3pm, on the day of the wedding.  A mere hour and a half before the start of the wedding. 

As the wedding was being hosted at my grandparents’ home and most of us would be there from early morning already, to help get everything ready, the biggest challenge, was attempting to surreptitiously sneak off about twenty of us for a quick rehearsal.  This done, without arousing the suspicions of the bride and groom.  Obviously, not everyone could rehearse, as it would appear really odd if simply all of us waltzed off at the same time.  We met at my aunt Trish and Roxy’s house and did a few run-through’s in the garden.  It sounded amazing!  I did a video clip of our rehearsal.  The link is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GvU0pSLvTrQ.

Eventually, it was wedding-o’clock!  And it truly was magnificent.  I can promise that there will be a proper wedding blog, in the not too distant future.  Including loads of stunning pics.  However, this is just a quickie about the flash mob, itself.

When it comes to any large Lombard gathering, I am one of the chosen ones – elected to say a speech.  This holds true for weddings, birthdays, anniversaries, etc.  And thus Gareth and Nicole’s wedding was no different.  The bonus being that on this occasion, it provided us with a starting point and entry into the flash mob singing.  With regards to the speech thing, I must warn all – I’m not particularly good at it.  Public speaking is not my thing.  The writing the words for the speech thing is easy, yet it is the saying bit that I’m really awful at.  And therefore, I read what I have written.  It helps me a lot.  And also provides me with a place to look (on my piece of paper), and avoid the people staring at me.  My advice to you therefore, is to skip the speech bit of the flash mob – and just get to the rest of it.  If I was any better at the whole Youtube uploading thing from my video camera, I would edit the speech out.  Furthermore, the quality on my camera was awesome, yet during the upload, it has deteriorated quite a bit.  I suggest, you jiggle and adjust the quality setting to the highest maximum.  The quality is not the best, but you will get the vibe and the sentiment.  Simply love the fact, that most were singing along, finger clicking and swaying too.  And as a measure of exactly how spot on we were?  We brought the lovely bride, Nicole, to tears.  A feat not accomplished at the Joburg shindig.

And so, without much further ado, I present to you – The Lombard Wedding Flash Mob.  Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5fs5XPjoofs

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Me doing my speech - about to launch into the Flash Mob

 

 

Rehearsals in the garden at Trish and Roxy's place

 

Such fun!

Celebrating a Diamond Wedding Anniversary

Celebrating a Diamond Wedding Anniversary
8 July 2013

Being married is darn hard work.  You have to actively and consciously be considerate of somebody else every single day of your life.  Being mindful of their wishes, needs and desires.  Having love left over in your heart for them after all of that, is rather an amazing miracle.  And possibly requires a mind-set of sorts.

Still my incredible grandparents have managed to achieve just that.  Just a short while ago, we celebrated their 60th Wedding Anniversary.  Or as my Ouma Helene liked to call it, their DWA (Diamond Wedding Anniversary).

And largely thanks to that very same Ouma Helene, my family has a remarkably well developed sense of occasion.  We're given to celebration rather often.  Though in actual fact that could also be partly due to the large number of people in the family, giving much cause for celebration with their every achievement.  Still sometimes we celebrate just being us and being together.  No outside impetus needed, like an engagement, birth, milestone birthday, career achievement, etc.  Though we quite obviously give those the due pomp and ceremony they deserve too.  Occasionally, we just rejoice in how good it is to be us and to be together.  And I clearly remember celebrating my grandparents' GWA (Ouma Helene with her acronyms again - Golden Wedding Anniversary) just ten years ago, with many family e-mails going back and forth as planning for the event was stepped up a notch.  And the heading and subject of every single mail for weeks on end was, "The GWA".  It was thus with a wonderful sense and feeling of deja vu, that of late we'd been inundated with many family mails, all with the heading, "The DWA".  Hey, at least we're consistent.

The day dawned beautifully with magnificent weather.  And by late morning, Cloetenberg, the home of my grandparents, was a flurry of activity.  Tables and chairs were set out, the coffee and tea things all ready for the influx of guests.  Soups all made for the evening’s meal too.  And a general air of excitement permeating it all.  Palpable in fact.

What an incredible privilege and remarkable achievement to celebrate dedicating your life to one person only.  In today’s times, this is rather unusual.  Couples don’t stay together half as often any more.  Giving up is easy.  Still my grandparents were clearly made of sterner stuff, and managed to traverse many an obstacle in their sixty years together.  And how richly they’ve been rewarded for their efforts.  What a legacy they are leaving.  They have a very large and loving family, who enjoy each other’s company lots.  Many families can sadly not say the same.  There is no animosity and ill feelings between family members.  If people have beef with each other (which almost never happens), they immediately talk about it and resolve the issue.  Moving forward once more, with no continual harping on that which has passed.  We all genuinely like each other and enjoy spending as much time together as possible.  We go away together often, and as mentioned before, have random get-togethers, purely for the fun of it.

I was completely and utterly blown away by the amount of guests at the DWA.  Apart from the immediate family, my grandparents had cousins there, some of the original wedding guests, and many of their friends.  Friends from many moons ago, and friends from just a few moons ago too.  How amazing that they are so richly blessed with people that care about them.  Especially at their age.  Many people become reclusive, lonesome and solitary as they get older.  Their worlds get smaller.  But not my grandparents.  As ever, they still have an active social life.  They belong to intellectual groups where they get stimulated, head committees, and actively search for continual enlightenment.  Hence their large circle of friends, and acquaintances too.  They inspire people to reach further, do more and dream bigger.  And their party was a testament to this spirit.

It was a glorious celebration.  And Cloetenberg shone line the jewel that she is.  People were happy, festive and joyful.  Sharing an occasion like this with two unique and special people is truly a privilege for all those who attended.

The speeches were fantastic.  Paying tribute to their awesome achievement.  Their strength of spirit.  Their never-give-up attitude to life.  Their dedication to each other, their family and all that they tackle in life.

I salute them for all that they stand for.  And thank them for the amazing example they have set for three generations of Lombards, following in their wake – their children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren too.

And given their indomitable spirits, I very much look forward to future e-mails, in about ten years’ time – all with the heading, “The PWA”.  I’m pretty sure their Platinum Anniversary will be equally unique.

Viva Oupa and Ouma!  Viva!

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Our much beloved Cloetenberg

 

(Don't tell anyone, but Maggie used a watering can to fill the urn)

The Lombard Five with Oupa and Ouma

 

Hamming it up for the camera - every "kid" donning a pair of reading glasses - they've clearly all got short arms

 

Cloetenberg from the road

Guests mingling

Beautiful garden - kids on the swing, and Buddy-gal lying in the sun

 

Most magnificent garden!

Garden once more

Some familiar Cloete's in the foreground

 

Glorious winter's day - with guests enjoying the outside area

 

Cuzzie Roxy and my awesome aunt, Trish

 

And so the speeches began - Willem (my youngest uncle) takes the floor - I mean chair

 

Oupa and Ouma listening to their praises

 

Willem did an awesome job

 

Next in line was my beautiful aunt, Bettie - reading awesome speeches from her husband, Bert, and my cousins Gareth and Maria - sadly Bettie was the only representative of the Bertolani family, as they are all financial refugee's in Joburg, and don't live in the Cape

 

Everyone listening avidly

 

Such a beautiful setting

 

All listening

Oi vey!  Even I had a go - representing my lazy lout cousins and siblings - twelve grandchildren in all.  I am terrible at doing speeches.  But luckily not too bad at reading them.  Public speaking - blegh!!!  Writing the words is the easy bit - saying them?  Not so much.

 

But the star of the show by far, was our much beloved Myta.  A consistent companion, mother figure, and the voice of reason for all of us.  She started out with our family as a young fourteen year old and has a common bond with my Ouma Helene as they share the same "geboorte-plaas".  She is mother, friend and confidant to every single one of us, and very much loved.  Fifty seven years later, she is still going strong. 

 

Myta is the most amazing public speaker and regaled all with her tales, having shared nearly all sixty years of Oupa and Ouma's married lives with them.  She entertained us with the way she recalled the constant searching at home for hearing aids (the dogs have eaten more than one pair already), spectacles and false teeth.  Just the other day, Oupa's teeth went through the washing machine.  I'm assuming they've never been cleaner.....  Mishaps of this nature, happen extremely often.

Myta enthralled the crowd

 

Spellbound guests

 

At 82, even Oupa Willem braved the chair to say his little bit - Bettie hovered close by, just in case he toppled over

 

And Maggie finished it all off beautifully

A wonderful highlight, was a family Skype session, with cousin Adam, all the way from Istanbul

Everyone huddling close to the computer to have a chat with Adam

 

Night time splendour - candles atop the piano.  Simply love the muted lighting.

The coffee, cake and tea is done.  Most guests have left.  Preparing for the family soup feast for those still remaining.

Let the eating commence

With any celebrated occasion at Cloetenberg, one whole wall is dedicated to photos.  And here are a few beauties from that long ago wedding day.

 

Chat session around the fire place - so nice and cosy

Kids having a giggle

The carnage after supper - we flattened about seven huge big bowls of soup - delish!  I thought I'd pop, as I simply had to sample all on offer.  Oxtail soup, Red Pepper, Green Pea and Ham, Butternut, Vegetable Barley, etc.  Amazing!

 

Family champagne toasts after supper

Such special family times

Very, very social

 

Family photo taken of those still remaining.  Sadly quite a few absentee's.  Family far away, etc.

 

Such a lovely, happy photo with lots of smiles

Oupa and Ouma with their five kids

 

Sibling antics

 

My beautiful cousins, Roxy and Elaine

 

Opening of the gifts

 

Ouma had insisted that she didn't want any gifts.  Ridiculous!  And so we advised all who asked, to give chocolates and edible treats.  All with a view on Ouma sharing them with us at Kleinbaai.  It worked a charm!