I run a criminal empire based on lies, and I've roped my kids in too

I run a criminal empire based on lies, and I've roped my kids in too

23 March 2024

I’m a very firm believer in always telling the truth. It’s something I feel quite strongly about. Cause the thing is, that should I lie, I will still know it’s not the truth. And I’d have to live with me. It would bother me terribly.

 

I will tell the truth, even if it puts me in a bad light. Even if it’s hard to face. Because it’s the right thing to do. Even when lying would be so much easier at times.

 

But there is a distinct grey area. Strange though that may sound. Especially given my strong convictions.

 

There is an unusual phenomenon that I have encountered. And it’s called, “A Beautiful Lie”.

 

And though I feel strongly about honesty, I’ve also been known to indulge in the occasional beautiful lie.

 

I suspect that if we’re all honest with ourselves, we’ll admit to doing the same.

 

So what makes a lie beautiful? I think it’s when you tell a lie, in order to spare someone else pain. To ease their mind. To give them comfort. I’m not talking about lying about “big” things. I suppose a beautiful lie could be qualified as white lies.

 

Now as for white lies? They are without a doubt beautiful! And I’ve definitely spun many porkies along the line.

 

I encouraged my kids to believe in Father Xmas. Not only that, I actively fed the lie. And wove elaborate and detailed magical tales. Creating and feeding their imagination, firming their belief in wonderful, happy things. Stretching out their innocent childhood for as long as possible. Moreover, once my eldest son, Luke, discovered the wicked truth, I roped him in on my master plan. So we could keep the younger two believing for as long as possible. I recruited him to the dark side. And then once again, once Amber found out, she too joined the criminal gang. So we could draw it out for Cole. Furthermore, I equipped them with the tools of my trade, in order to assist them with this. Showing them the ropes. Honing their skills too. Without a doubt I corrupted them all in. Because in turn, Cole has helped to keep the magic alive for his younger cousins. So he too joined the family business.

 

I blatantly lied about Easter. With great fanfare and pizazz. Bunny footprints throughout the house and garden, Easter egg treasure hunts and I indulged in every little smidgeon of wonder that I could squeeze out of Easter. Once again, as they got older, all three of my kids joined the criminal family business. And proceeded to feed the fiction for others too.

 

The tooth fairy and the tooth mouse were delightful too. How could they not be?

 

These are all fairly obvious lies, I suppose. Part of the ritual of childhood and growing up. But there were many other little lies along the way too. “Yes, Cole. I’m sure you could win a bear in a physical fight”. Age three. Just to give you some perspective. It’s what we do. Cause these little lies, help to build their confidence. Without them turning out delusional. I mean every kid eventually gets to realise that they can’t win a bear in a fight, right? Well, everyone apart from Cole. Who is still strong in his convictions. But that is just Cole. And I sincerely hope that he’ll never change. It’s a huge part of his appeal. His unwavering optimism and belief in himself and his abilities. All without being arrogant along the way.

 

But you do also get other little lies. Lies you don’t necessarily indulge in to lengthen your children’s childhood. Yet, these other little white lies, are somehow no less noble in their intent. Possibly they’re even more pure and infinitely beautiful too.

 

My most beloved step-grandfather, Oupa Pietie, got a wee bit confused towards the end of his life. I quite simply completely and utterly adored him. I enjoyed visiting him fairly often and we’d just chat about random things. Towards the end, he would ask me how my granny was doing. The very same granny who had died during Covid. And I would tell him that she was doing really, really well. Cause I believed that to be true. She was doing well. Wherever she was. I’d ask him about his day, and he’d tell me that he had gone to see his mother and his first wife, and that he’d been fixing a gate or a fence on his farm. And I would tell him that I hoped he had a wonderful time and ask him how his mom and first wife were doing. Sometimes he’d tell me that him and my granny had gone to the shops that very morning or that they went for lunch at their favourite restaurant. And I’d marvel with him and make all of the appropriate noises. Because it didn’t really matter. And it made him so happy. The world he was in, the one where he still got to spend time with my granny, his first wife and his mom, was such a wondrous place for him to be. And so, I not only indulged him, I encouraged it.

 

When I was a teenager my much loved Ouma Cathy knitted or crocheted me a pair of bootie slippers. Just like the kind that babies wear. Man alive, but they were hideous! I swear, if you had those bad boys on your feet, there was no need for birth control in any way, shape or form. Serious passion killers. I didn’t even wear them once. But she was so thrilled with her handywork and was so delighted with them, that I assured her that I absolutely loved them. In addition, I encouraged her to make a pair for my brother and sister too. Hey, it wasn’t fair that I was the only one to suffer. They had to go through it too. A rite of passage of sorts and I felt it was an easy way to torment them at the same time. And you know what? She was pleased as punch and over the moon that her gift had really hit the spot. White lie? Most definitely. But for such a good reason.

 

Because even though telling the truth is important. Somehow, so is lying.

 

A beautiful lie is a thing of incredible beauty. And I’m all for it.

 

So go out there. Tell the truth at all times. Unless you can do an even better thing. And lie. In which case, I encourage you to go for it. Lie through your teeth. And make someone happy.