Attention-seeking-sneezing

 

Attention-seeking-sneezing

16 March 2024

Sneezing is one of life’s greatest free pleasures. Personally, I love sneezing. Random fact. Sure you’re delighted to know this about me…

 

But I can imagine that if you’re a sinus sufferer, then perhaps sneezing is not all that much fun. I suppose for them it’s accompanied by itching in the nose, a post nasal drip, a constant upper respiratory irritation, congestion and the like.

 

Now My Grantie is a sinus sufferer and takes antihistamines every single day. And has for pretty much most of his life He also knows what his triggers are. So he avoids dairy products and the like, but still he gets it. It would obviously be worse without the meds, so grateful for any minimizing of his symptoms.

 

However, when it comes to sneezing, my man is a frigging pro. He doesn’t do a gentle dainty sneeze. One of those fun ones that I love so much. Nope, he goes all out. Picture ear piercing volume, which kind of sounds like an extremely loud shout. Imagine an overly dramatic animated version of sneezing, like you’d see in a kids cartoon. Multiply by one hundred. And you might get close to what I’m dealing with. They’re simply always unexpected with no advance warning at all. In addition, he has a fondness for multiples. Nothing as conventional as a one and done. No sirree, bob. That would be boring.

 

Personally, I’ve got a theory. He lies in wait. His timing is impeccable. He prefers silence. It assists him with the element of surprise. He has a personal preference for confined spaces. Like the car. Where there is absolutely no escape at all. Now our car is never quiet, cause we’re always listening to music. Yet I still never expect it. Another fondness of his is late at night in bed. But he’s not all that discriminate. Any random opportunity will suffice.

 

And because of the unexpected element linked to him sneezing, as well as the deafening volume, I’ve resorted to calling it his “attention-seeking-sneezing”. Sooooo excessive and flamboyant. He’s got a dramatic flair for it. And he indulges in it often.

 

Maybe he’d actually like me to have a heart attack? Or perhaps he simply loves the way it makes me jump and flinch. Who can tell? What I do know however, is that it’s a passion he indulges in extremely frequently. With great obvious enjoyment.

 

Now my sister, Foefie (her name is actually Katrine), has heard him sneezing often. So she’s also been on the receiving end of one of these little surprises. And the first time I called it his attention-seeking-sneezing, she laughed. She could so identify.

 

Cause here’s the thing. Foefie’s husband, Robin (whom she fondly calls her Sock), does exactly the same. In fact, he’s upped the ante.

 

She recalls that one night in bed, he surprised her in the death of night with an extreme session of attention-seeking-sneezing. So much so, that she actually counted.

 

Twenty seven times. Yip! Twenty seven. Now that’s taking this underappreciated skill to the very next level. She did however confirm, that nobody really feels like a bit of tonsil hockey after one of these. Not all that endearing and enticing in making one indulge in the late night romantic arts at all.

 

So here’s where I’m at. The “Loubser” brother-in-laws are truly gifted. For now, Katrine and I are avoiding telling the two of them about each other’s skills. Sure, they’ve heard each other sneezing before in the past. But nothing too hectic. My fear is this. Once they know that each of them now have an impressive sneezing reputation to uphold, they might take it to the next level. And neither of us think we’re strong enough for that. Perish the thought.

 

Just picture it.

 

Competitive-attention-seeking-sneezing. And absolutely frightening thought.

 

Gesundheit! Say it! Don't spray it!