8 November 2012
FNB – How can we help you? Well for starters, you can kill Steve. Seriously, you can. Just a suggestion though – use it, don’t use
it. It’s your choice entirely. Personally, I’d like to suggest something
particularly gruesome and violent. Maybe
start off slow and then work your way up to the heavy stuff. You know, paper cuts between his fingers and
toes in the beginning and then letting the violence escalate
progressively. Perhaps electrical
currents connected to vital male parts.
Possibly ending with dismemberment – oh please can I watch? Alternatively, you could just try firing him
and doing better radio ads. I’m sure you
have the necessary resources available to do just that. I mean for heaven’s sakes! You’re friggin FNB and thanx to Steve, I now
know that you’re a subsidiary of First Rand Bank Limited. So you’ve got the big bucks – step it up a notch!
Without a doubt, those FNB adds,
featuring the dim-witted Steve are particularly trying. I am not alone and a solitary sufferer – many
have voiced similar feelings. And
judging by the sound of his voice – even Steve is getting tired of doing
it. And jeez, who can blame him. The way that dude has to deal with abuse and
rejection from fellow annoyed customers can only be increasingly
disturbing. It’s actually amazing that
the guy hasn’t simply just done a “goodbye cruel world already”. To date he has tried pawning off the opening
of an account from ####### Bank onto virtual strangers, his aged aunt, parents,
grandmother, uncle, etc. - with no joy.
Always and predictively leading the prospective customer to urge Steve
to rather join FNB as they offer the proverbial world. And though FNB are getting the partial
desired effect of creating brand awareness, I suspect that it comes at a hefty
price. I would walk over hot coals,
followed by broken glass to avoid opening an FNB account. And just this week, I braved lengthy queues
at Capitec Bank to open an account there instead.
Ads have an amazing ability to
extract extreme emotions from people – virtually the whole spectrum of
emotion. They can make you laugh, feel
empathy, bring you to tears, make you think, question beliefs and even make you
angry. Some have stood the test of time
and will forever more be cherished in our memories. Adopted into our culture and becoming
SAfricanisms in the process. Things are
not inside they’re on top! Drinks are
served with eish, ja with eish. For
years and years we did our shopping twolley for twolley. Yebo Gogo became a verb, and adjective and a
noun. Volkswagen ads are legends – most
of them taking one on an emotional rollercoaster of feelings. And who can forget ja-Boet and old
Swaer. The young man courting his
girlfriend with exotic coffee names from the Wimpy menu, really getting her
engine racing because “ag, Henry, I love it when you talk foreign”. This said in a heavy Afrikaans accent, while
Henry is saying words like “Machiato”.
Henry’s cherry gets so excited, she spontaneously pops a button on her
blouse. Too cute for words and just the
thought of it still makes me laugh. And
then there was the add with the blonde bimbo (no offence to blondes around the
world – this girl just happened to be both dof and blonde – a coincidence I’m
sure – draw your own conclusions) who couldn’t find her fries on her plate –
this because the rather large mound of her artificial breasts seriously impeded
her vision – a Nando’s gem. And in fact
Nando’s are known for their tongue in cheek and witty humour. Sharp off the mark and slightly naughty too.
Ads can popularise a song, giving
it virtual anthem status. It can make or
break a career. It can turn a just about
unknown into an overnight celeb. People
can base entire careers on appearing in ads, especially if an ad does well, and
follow-ups are done. The dude sporting
the leopard skin tanga in the Vodacom ads surely made a pretty pot of money from
showing off his hairy tush, chest and back.
And somehow, with just an opening bar or two of the song from a
particularly catching ad, you can be transported back into time. Remembering way back when…..
If you’re ever bored and feel
like killing a bit of time, then I suggest you go onto Youtube and take a trip
down the memory lane of some of our awesome SA ads. We’ve done really well and have had a few
masterpieces. Ad agencies continually
stretch the boundaries, push the limits and create brief minute long snippets
of magic.
And below I’d like to add just two. Sit back, relax and enjoy.
Enjoy this little nugget – Boet
and Swaer – a true classic http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ayoz5jEyuXo&feature=player_detailpage
And then there’s the crème de la
crème – the Cremora ad - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_t15vNuXP0&feature=player_detailpage
So, Steve, all I can say is take
a page out of these books. Move to FNB
already and get on with it. PLEASE!!! Get a life, before I consider snuffing yours.
:) as usual you have made me smile and I must confess I smile each and everytime I use my Ebucks too!!!!
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