Dear Powers that be.....
2 November 2012
Dear powers that be
I, Helene Cloete, would hereby
like to lodge an official request: I am
finding myself unable to cope with the hectic demands on my time and am
urgently and desperately in need of help.
Now, I do not claim to know the
answers to the universe and am happy to admit that I am unable to solve the
world’s problems. But just this once,
for little old me, I’d like for you to consider throwing me a friggin
bone. I know that I am not alone and a
sole sufferer of this time dilemma.
There are many of us out there.
So, I’ve put my thoughts together and come up with a few suggestions, in
no particular order. Please see this as
constructive criticism. It in no way
reflects on the marvellous job you’re doing already, what with the billions of
us out there. And I know your plate is
kinda full, but please, just see what you can do. So, here goes:
1) Have
you ever considered adding a few extra hours to the day? This would hugely assist me in getting through
my workload. Enabling me to fully
complete a day’s tasks and chores. With
never a carry over to the following day, making me start with a backlog
already.
2) I
have always seen sleep as a ridiculous waste of time. And though I enjoy sleeping and the mostly
refreshing feeling after enough hours of sleep, I feel that we could better
utilise the hours at our disposal if we were not unconscious for a few hours
each night. Just think of this
logically. If the need for sleep was
erased, point number one above, would not even need to be dealt with. With one simple small act, the banishment of
a night’s rest, the day would gain hours already.
3) There
is strong appeal to an extra set of hands.
Just think of the advantages. I
am able to multi-task already. But with
the added benefit of two extra hands, heck, let’s make it four, I would be able
to, with exponential speed, fly through my day.
One pair can make sarmies for school.
Another brush knots out of Amber’s long hair. And the third pair could mix a mean cheese
sauce for over our cauliflower for supper.
Come to think of it, I could do with even a few pairs more. A fourth pair could mark Cole’s homework. A fifth pair could quickly bbm my mom. A sixth pair could assist Luke with some
urgent computer need. And that magical
seventh pair could type away at a blog.
See! All sorted!
4) But
hang on a wee minute. Who would “drive”
all these hands? Surely another head
would also be needed. So, give it a
thought. It’s just a suggestion. Though finding clothes to wear might be a bit
challenging, I’m sure we’ll work our way around this.
5) Perhaps
the wisest course of action, would be a clone!
Aha! The perfect solution. If Dolly the sheep could be doubled and
cloned, just think of an extra Helene roaming this world. Quality control would be key in the
process. And you would have to ensure
that a copy of me, is just as awesome as the original version. I would hate to be a bit “slo-o-o-wer”. You know, and end up making silly mistakes,
like shoes on wrong feet, or clothes back to front. And while we’re at it, the very nature of
cloning, enables more than one copy not true?
So perhaps we could do a few versions of me. One for Grant and for each of my kids. One who does cooking. One who will perhaps study further –
psychology and journalism both interest me.
One would work full time to earn a bit of extra cash. One could pick up skills that I’m lacking,
like gardening and baking. One would
permanently be on holiday, going off on wild adventures. One would be tied to the computer, blogging
full time. Another would spend absolute
aeons with my large extended family. And
so the list goes on and on. Quite a
marvellous idea and one that holds a lot of appeal. But just a suggestion, if you please. I think it is critical that we don’t make
copies of copies as consecutive versions might get watered down and weak.
So, please. Do give this some thought. I’m sure it is do-able and within your reach.
I eagerly await your reply with
anticipation and I’m sure I’ll meet with a favourable response for you.
Your sincerely,
Helene
This could seriously work for me, though I do think it's a bit short of the mark in terms of the volume of arms. A few more would be even better.
And don't I very conveniently also have a Superman shirt?
What you need is a wife! She would take care of A LOT!
ReplyDeleteWhat you need is a wife! She would take care of A LOT!
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