Today I saw my Dad - I swear!!!
22 October 2012
Today I saw my Dad! I swear I did. And it was utterly marvellous. Well, he did look a bit different, truth be
told. But I suppose I should write that
down to the fact that it was actually my uncle and not my Dad at all.
I haven’t seen my uncle, for
quite a few years, probably about 5 years or so. And seeing him today
was quite surreal. It truly felt like I
was seeing a bit of my Dad again. They
have a lot of the same mannerisms and habits.
And there’s a little bit of shared looks as well. To me, he doesn’t look older since the last
time I saw him. And I wonder if my Dad
would also have aged as well. Genetics
is a funny thing after all. One can
simply never tell.
He gave me the biggest,
squeeziest hug, in fact more than one – somehow slightly reminiscent of my
Dad’s famous hugs. Nearly lifting me off
my feet – a none too easy task.
He comes from my Dad’s branch of
the family – my Dad’s brother to be exact.
And apart from my Gran, Ouma Cathy, whom I see very often, the rest of
us don’t see much of each other at all.
Sadly there was a little silly family misunderstanding, which somehow
got exponentially bigger. A split
between my Uncle and his family and ours.
Quite an unusual experience for me, as the Lombard’s don’t operate like
this at all. But it would appear that a
Loubser problem, could not be dealt with in a Lombard way. The way I’m used to things, problems are
discussed immediately and ironed out quickly.
With no hard feelings held.
Nothing to brew about. So the
Loubser way was rather peculiar to me.
Sort of an ostrich thing I think.
And given time the mole hill managed to morph into a mountain. My dad would have been none too pleased.
I very seldom see my Loubser
cousins. And two of the three live in
the UK. I have lots of contact with one
in particular though - Facebook makes the world really small. It would be great if the proverbial hatchet
would be buried. It is something which
deeply troubles my mom and my gran alike.
Personally, none of us kids, had any matter in the tiff. And I think in general there is confusion
about the cause.
But be that as it may, I loved
seeing my uncle today. A rare glimpse of
my dad is always good. And though I
“see” my dad often in my dreams, today was bittersweet.
It made me remember seeing my Dad
and his brother together. The way my
gran used to glow when she had both of her boys with her. As only a mother can when all of her
offspring are under one roof.
Perhaps today was a bit of a
symbolic olive branch from my uncle. And
I truly believe that he also enjoyed seeing me.
For one, he kept on saying it, inviting Grant, the kids and I over for a
night or so. And for two, genuine
emotion is hard to fake. But then again,
we never had any beef between the two of us.
And to my mind at least “the incident” was a miscommunication. And had one looked at the intention behind
it, familial relations would never have suffered.
Irrespective of it all, “seeing”
my Dad again was awesome. And good for
the soul. I think I’ll probably have a
little warm glow for quite a while. See
you again soon…
Absolutely lovely Helene!
ReplyDeleteFrank and Don were my favourite cousins, we almost grew up together, and you are so right - every time I see Don I also see Frank. Michael x
ReplyDeleteThis made me cry Helene. I know exactly what you mean about Don's hugs and that he is so like Daddy. I have always said Don is the best hugger, and so glad you enjoyed it. I still struggle to know what terrible thing it is that I did to cause this misunderstanding. How sad for all of us.
ReplyDeleteIt breaks my heart that you, Maggie, of all people, should feel this pain. You are the most loving, kind hearted person I know, who ALWAYS has the best intentions and puts others first. Hopefully this is the beginning of some healing, as time has a way of making things better. Love you Mags.
ReplyDeleteI just read that " Love, not time, heals all wounds." We got a lot of love to go round!
ReplyDelete