Chutzpah!
3 October 2012
I would really like my children
to be bright - as in clever. Not
abnormally so, as to be freaky and unable to function with normal averagely
intelligent folks. But rather delightfully
clever. As to be erudite, charming and
able to virtually sail through school. And
whichever tertiary education route they would like to follow, in order to
qualify them for their future careers one day.
But some days, I despair of my
wish becoming true. Luke, is a teenager
– so enough said. He doesn’t do
meaningful conversation. In fact he
grunts and makes noises most of the time.
The fact that I understand him, is a testament to my multi-lingual
abilities. His voice is also
exceptionally deep, so it is near impossible to hear anything beyond a vague rumbling
sound. And no, he doesn’t speak loudly
at all. We all seem to spend loads of
time saying “sorry, Luke, what did you say” or variations on this theme. He seems to take a personal affront to this
and his motto seems to be “if you didn’t hear me the first time, you obviously
didn’t want to”. Teenagers!!!
Amber is a little tween girl – so
her vocal range incorporates an excessive amount of squealing. She is not all that logical at times, and
though extremely sharp with her tongue (she can flay you on the spot with one
of her razor sharp come-backs), there are clear gaps in reasoning ability. If conversations don’t pertain to Justin
Bieber, fashion and nailpolish, I think she simply tunes it out.
Cole is, well Cole. He can’t stay still for long enough to do
anything of vast intellectual ability.
That does however not mean that he is incapable of doing so. He is extremely clever and bright and of this
I am sure. He is intelligent, yet he can
be so ridiculously illogical at times, it blows my mind.
So, perhaps it’s time for me to
lower the bar a bit. I am hardly an
intellectual giant. In fact far from
it. And all three of my kids are by far
exceeding my very limited scholastic abilities.
I always got by, but there were never any intellectual fireworks for
me. Not a single spark of
brilliance. Nothing I particularly
excelled at. For a while, I thought I
might have cornered the family market on musicality with my “marvellous” piano
skills, until my dear brother left me in the dust, albeit with his guitar. So that was not to be either.
Yet, for all of my grumbling
about my kids, I can say beyond a shadow of a doubt that they are all
remarkably clever. For the most part
they do really well at school – particularly if they apply themselves. And I suppose therein lies the catch. So how do I know that they’re clever? Well, all three of them have an excellent
sense of humour. And for humour to
exist, you have to understand the finer nuances of wit, satire, irony, sarcasm,
etc. They don’t just get the slap-dash
humour thing. They get all humour –
barring the adult kind of course. Or
perhaps they are just “humouring” me in letting me think that they don’t get the
adult humour? They are all capable of
witty responses and have quick verbal reflexes.
Alarmingly so at times.
I think, far more important than
mere book-intelligence, is emotional intelligence. And this encapsulates a whole list of
things. Being able to communicate with
adults and children alike. Knowing which
responses to give in certain circumstances.
A quest for knowledge that can not only be found in books and are
limited to them. A yearning for
experiencing things. A willingness to
explore different ideas. An ability to
be non-judgmental and communicate with people of different sexes, races,
religions, ethnicity, ages, economic standing and physical ability.
So, I would dearly, wishfully and
hopefully like to think that my kids are on this path. That they will be able to do all of the above
and evolve in to wonderful, amazing, incredible, kind-hearted whole
people. People who can make a positive
contribution to society and can be an example to those around them. People who can be relied upon. People who have integrity, loyalty,
perseverance, honesty and a sense of fairness.
That they will be good friends to their friends. That they will be NICE people, that can be
depended on. That they will meet with exceptional success in their relationships with others - both romantic and platonic.
I think so far, so good. No one is perfect and thank heavens for
that. In fact, perhaps perfection is a
very shallow aspiration. It is our very
fallibility that makes us learn and become even better people.
So my revised wish for my
children is to be average, but well rounded.
Nah, maybe a bit above average.
To be clever-ish. To be nice. To be slightly naughty. To be good people.
Perfect little robots would
simply not do for me. I want children
after all – not marionettes. I don’t
need all A’s. I don’t need first teams
for sport. I don’t need prefects. I don’t need Victor or Victrix Ludorums. I don’t need Academic awards. I don’t need gold medals and gold
certificates. I don’t need musical excellence. I don’t need the best works of art. I don’t need team captains. I don’t need top of the class. I don’t need the cutest, prettiest, most
handsome. It is not a pre-requisite for
my love, affection or approval.
So go out there. Have a good life. Have chutzpah – and bucket loads of it. You make me proud anyway – just for being
you.
I just LOVE this blog - you are a very wise woman!!
ReplyDeleteYour kids are very lucky Helene, to have you.
ReplyDeleteLove the LUKE-part! "...he grunts and makes noises most of the time..." Makes me think of spud the movie - for some odd reason.
ReplyDeleteOh yes, that was from Katarina ^^,
Delete