High on a hill there's a.....
24 October 2012
Yes, yes, a lonely goatherd. We all know that one. So what?
Well, the point is this. As a child (and even as a teenager, and while
we’re having a bout of honesty here, even as an adult) I gorged myself on the
Sound of Music and I can truly say that it is one of my all-time favourite
movies. Such an uplifting, happy,
inspirational, nice-girl-makes-good-and-gets-the-guy type of movies. And then of course, there’s the singing. And we all know just how much I love to
sing. I know every word of every
song. I know the order of the songs and
can even re-enact some parts. I know,
I’m pretty sad and seriously need to get out more.
So, here’s the thing. I blame Julie Andrews. No, really I do. It’s all her fault. She created a completely unrealistic
expectation of what being a mother is like.
She was all “raindrops on roses”, rowing in little boats, teaching them catchy
songs and making ever so dashing outfits from the drapes in her bedroom. I mean, jeez!
Who can compete with that???
She made loving children, even
though they were not her own, look so easy.
She was understanding and compassionate.
She was creative and fun. She was
quirky and had a great sense of humour.
She had a beautiful voice, a lovely figure, good hair and was able to
dance. And for her final little coup
d’tat, she even managed to entrap the ever so fit Captain Von Trapp. As a little girl I thought he was ever so
suave and handsome. A real gentleman,
although he was a wee bit austere in the beginning.
No mere mortal mom can compete
with her brilliance. But then perhaps,
“movie-world” is merely to be seen as wonderful escapism and not to be taken
too seriously. Yet, I probably was
unable to differentiate.
So this is where I’m at on
“The-Julie-Andrews-Mother-of-the-year-award” stakes:
·
I don’t sew – so I seriously lucked out
there. Apart from my limited and
self-taught crafting sewing skills, my sole sewing repertoire with my kids
consists of sewing blue tinsel onto Amber’s angel dress, which I borrowed from
a friend, whilst sitting outside in the car, on the morning of the Chatterbox
Xmas Concert. And sewing big brown spots
onto an outfit for Luke one year when he was a cow, also in a Chatterbox Xmas
Concert. That’s it. And let’s be honest, neither attempt would
have survived closer scrutiny and inspection.
The thought of what I’d do to a pair of drapes is dreadful. Or wait, maybe if I lay my kids down on the
drapes and simply cut around their body outlines, and merely stapled the bits
together, I’d make some rather fetching ensembles. Now, the question is this – exactly what are
drapes? Personally, I only have curtains
and blinds. Oh, well! That’s hardly my fault, so I guess I’m off
the hook there.
·
The lovely voice, is an ambition, not entirely
realised. Not that it puts me off at
all. Perseverance and all that. And just today when I took Amber to her
dancing lesson and the two of us were singing Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody loudly,
I re-iterated my need for a microphone in the car. I’m quite convinced that it will improve my
vocal prowess. Note to self – speak to
Albert. He’s sure to have one lying
around. Alternatively a kiddies one will
simply have to do.
·
I REALLY don’t have the whole good-hair-thing
going for me. I have little tufts that
stick up on the sides, which Grant unkindly calls my horns. Personally I think his comments are purely
motivated by jealousy – what with him being bald and all.
·
The lovely figure is an on-going strive. The best I can hope for is a modicum of
medium-ish weight and the clever disguise of flattering clothes. At present I am dieting like mad, because Grant
and I have got a black tie event coming up in just under two weeks’ time. I have the most amazing, stunning, gorgeous
dress that I would love to wear. A dress
I confess to being completely in love with.
And one that I blatantly abuse any opportunity to wear. However, at present, I fear that the only
part of my stunning evening outfit I might fit into, are my shoes. But, hey, that’s a start. Slowly but surely though, the weight is
coming off and I hope that by the end of the week, I might be able to fit into
my earrings as well. And then from there
it’s just a short leap…..
·
Dancing – I have two left feet. Enough said.
It ain’t pretty people.
·
Now, when it comes to the raindrops on roses
thing, I don’t do it in a singsong style with my kids. It’s more of a “you are so lucky because…….”,
and “you can be so grateful for…..”.
Which probably does detract from the true gist of the original song a
bit.
·
As for Captain Von Trapp, I sure managed to trap
my very own version. When Grant and I
were still in the beginning phases of getting to know each other, before even
going out, I saw him in his Navy Ice Cream uniform. Well, I nearly melted in a puddle, I tell
you. So, he wasn’t a commander. So he didn’t have a whistle. So he didn’t have a small platoon of
kids. I didn’t care. For me it was close enough.
·
I love kids.
Passionately. But even I pale at
the thought of seven! How did that poor
woman do it??? And for me at least,
after the magical cathedral wedding, I always imagined Maria adding to their
brood. She was clearly made from sterner
stuff than me.
·
Now, as for loving my kids, I’m afraid I do beat
her on that score. Because I adore my
three, and would happily add at least another one or two to my family. And I know without a shadow of a doubt that I
could love any child. Not merely one
that I had a hand in creating.
So, to quote the Mother Superior,
how do you solve a problem like Maria?
Well, I think you take it all with a little pinch of salt. You do the best you can. You love them like mad and the rest will sort
itself out.
And as for the movie? Simply enjoy it. It truly is magical.
May I present to you.....the lonely goatherd
Our goatherd's "flock", so to speak
Maria a.k.a. Julie Andrews, looking as lovely as ever.
Swoon!
A man who knows his way around an instrument
The very fit looking Captain Von Trapp - he cleans up real good
Maria's children from another mother
So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, adieu
This one made me laugh out loud!! Good one!
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness - so funny!
ReplyDelete