If I was a school shoe, where would I hide?

 

If I was a school shoe, where would I hide?
7 April 2014

Oh my Lordie!  I think my kids are suffering from a congenital eye disease – most likely from their father’s side of the family.

I swear they are blind.

Now, I know I wear glasses.  Or contacts.  And one would think that I’m the obvious choice if their eye sight is bad.  But alas, vision impairment aside, I’m still perfectly capable of finding things that I’m looking for.

My kids on the other hand?  Well, not so successful.  At all.

And here’s why:

Their bloody eyes are fine.  All in perfectly good 20/20 order. 

Their disability stems from an inability, to successfully, seek that which they are looking for.

Heaven forbid, they actually have to look behind the bed.  Or under it.  Move around a thing or two.

Case in point – fairly often in our home, there’s an exclamation of, “Where’s the TV remote?”.

This is simply always met by a, “Look on the couch”, from me.

And here’s why:

It’s ALWAYS on the couch.

So, you move a few couch cushions.  Scratch around a bit.  You find it.

And here’s why:

IT’S ALWAYS ON THE COUCH!

Alternatively, depending on what they’re looking for, I ponder loudly, “If I was a (enter object, i.e. shoe, bag, hockey stick, etc.), where would I hide?”. 

And if moved to exert a bit of energy, I look in super ridiculous places.  Exclaiming loudly, “If I was pencil case, I’d hide in the fridge!”.  Open and close fridge, looking perplexed.  “If I was your MP3 player, where would I hide?”.  And then reply, “Aha!  Bathroom cabinet!”

Yip, they don’t ask me so much to help them look anymore.  Cause the answer is obvious.  Look in the place it should be.  Or where you remember having it last.

Alternatively, there’s always the couch…  If nothing else, you’ll find the TV remote for sure.

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