Eskom - I have found your next power source

Eskom - I have found your next power source
1 January 2013

Eskom Power Station

Megawatt Park

Maxwell Drive
Sunninghill
Sandton
South Africa

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN

Att:  The Managing Director, Chairman, CEO, CFO, Human Resources Department, Research and Development, The Big Cheese, Secretaries, Tea girls and all others involved

STOP THE PRESS – NEXT POWER SOURCE FOUND

I take delight in informing you that the next power source of our country has been found.  So, call off your fact finding missions and experiments, investigations and think tanks.  There is now no further need for more nuclear reactors, a pebble reactor, hydro-electric power, wave power, heck even solar power or wind turbines.  The solution to our great power need is simple and sustainable.  In fact, it is so simple, it’s been here all along.  Right under our very noses.  Living in my home to be exact.

I can concur that our greatest power source is an ADD and an ADHD child.  All we have to do is find a way to harness this power.  Because if we can, the world will be our oyster – and a lit up oyster at that.

If only I could find an inlet on Cole, apart from certain obvious orifices into which I could plug a cable.   I am sure that he would be able to charge most appliances in our home.  A mere five minutes of plugging into him, would be enough to charge your cell phone for a week.  You can also use him to charge camera batteries and torches as well.  And should you need an extra little surge, results are super easy to achieve.  With the addition of one little tin of Red Bull, he should be able to fire up at least three households within about half an hour alone.

Just think of the possibilities!  The sky is the limit.  In fact why aim that low.  I urge you to try and see the bigger picture here.  To think outside the box.  To hit the big time, we need to join a few ADD and ADHD kids together.  You know how you have different ways of connecting batteries and little lights together in Science experiments in school?  Well, just think about it.  We could base our model on the circuit system of connecting sources.  Take about ten kids with ADD and ADHD, connect them together, by way of holding hands.  Or perhaps you can cable tie them together – should be more effective as they are cunning little escape artists.  If you give each kid just one Red Bull and let them run together for about an hour and hype each other up, you should be able to harness enough power to run a small town.  A renewable power source if you like.  And just think of the monthly savings we will make to households with regards to their electrical bills?  We could truly uplift the poor and benefit many.

We could use their “fire power” so to speak to run factories and businesses.  They could boost our economy by a billion-fold within a very short space of time.  The cost of their “labour” would be very cheap.  All you would need is energy drinks, high quantities of caffeine, sugary drinks and sweets high in tartrazine (anything orange is good), biscuits, cookies and chocolates, processed foods in large numbers too.  Vegetables and fruits should be banned, and water too.  They would be able to “work” twenty four seven, so we would save on transporting costs to get them to where we would need them to be and housing them too.  They don’t sleep either.

So, give it a thought and do keep me posted.  I’m sure you’ll agree that my master plan will work.  It is bound to be cheaper than burning fossil fuels and raping our country of its natural resource and polluting the air in the process.

Looking forward to hearing from you shortly.

Yours cordially,

Helene Cloete

a.k.a. Inventor
a.k.a. Master mind extraordinaire
a.k.a. Saviour of the universe
a.k.a. Mother of an ADD child (I know what I am talking about here – this WILL work)