Sex, drugs and rock 'n roll - a cautionary tale

Sex, drugs and rock 'n roll - a cautionary tale
19 August 2012

So is the music industry all the glam that it’s been made out to be?  No, in fact it’s not.  Or should I say “NO!” (it truly deserves capital letters).  Now how would I know, you might ask?  Am I a musician?  No, not really.  Yes, I can play the piano, but not particularly well.  I love singing, but my audience is mainly the shower curtain and my poor children (they don’t have a choice as I like to sing in the car sometimes and they truly can’t escape – it’s the whole ‘captive’ audience thing – wicked, I know). 

So how would I really know?  Well, my family is overrun with musicians and I grew up as the child of a musician.  My dad was in a band from when he was about 15 years old.  And my folks used to tell me how my mom used to man the door at venues and I’d be sleeping in my carrycot under the table, while my mom collected entry fees above the table.  Apparently I slept through all the racket and loud music, but used to wake up when the band stopped playing as it was too quiet.  I grew up on a solid and steady diet of Rock ‘n Roll and remember always having music in the house, instruments galore and people who were able to play them.  My folks always had huge music parties, and so I grew up with a love for live music.

My brother, the multi-talented Albert Frost, is an awesome, awe-inspiring, jaw-droppingly good guitarist.  And I’m not just saying it because he’s my brother.  I’m biased, yes, but also honest.  And don’t just take my word for it.  He’s the only guitarist in South Africa who’s endorsed by Fender Guitars.  He gets sponsorship and endorsements from a variety of brands and labels.  He’s been the poster boy for Levi Strauss.  In fact they had huge big life size posters of him in all of their shops for a while.  I went in to one of the stores and asked them if I could please have one of the posters.  No, I explained, I’m not a groupie or a rabid fan.  I’m his sister, you see.  And he’s away from home so much, that I thought it would be awesome to simply plonk his stand-up poster down at family gatherings.  That way, he’d even be included in group family photo’s.  There would be no need to photo shop him in after the event.  A simply marvellous idea, I thought.  No, they told me.  They had a waiting list as long as at least 3 arms for the posters, and in the end I never got one.   It’s probably better, anyway.  It’s not really a smiley picture of him and it would be uber unfair if he never seemed to age like the rest of us.

He’s been featured in a variety of magazines and newspapers, he appears on TV every so often and if you check out his Facebook fan page, you’ll be able to see where you can catch him performing live.  Hopefully in a venue close to you.  He’s toured overseas, played as part of an opening act with Simple Minds on their world tour and opened up for The Rolling Stones in Spain (we have an awesome photo of Albert and the rest of the band with the Rolling Stones, but are not allowed to share or publish it – sooo tempting, I tell you).  He’s shared the stage with greats like Vusi Mahlasela, Tim Robbins, Koos Kombuis, Valiant Swart, Arno Carstens, etc.  He’s played in Germany, Spain, England, France, Belgium, Holland, Luxembourg and Dubai (a rich oil sheikh flew him and his fellow musical partner in crime, Arno Carstens, over for his birthday bash – that’s the Sheikh’s birthday bash, not my brother’s).  He’s performed a few times at the Nelson Mandela 46664 concert and a few years ago Madiba was lucky enough to meet him (we even have the photo to prove it and this one we may share – in fact I wouldn’t be surprised if Madiba has a framed copy next to his bed).  He’s chatted to people, the likes of Keith Richards, Mick Jagger, etc.  He is an institution at all of the musical festivals in South Africa, from Grahams Town and Up the Creek, to Oppikoppi as well as abroad at Pukkelpop and the Isle of Wight Festival.

Sounds pretty swanky, hey?  Well no, it’s not.  He rarely stays in the same place for more than one night.  He spends his life in his car driving to gigs.  I suspect he’s part of the reason that the South African airline industry is still alive and relatively well.  He pays a small fortune in excess baggage as he has to lug all of his guitars around with him when he flies.  On average I think he takes about 8 of his axes to a gig.  He’s an expert at living out of a suitcase.  His life is a constant merry-go-round of driving, flying, sound checks, writing songs, studio recording time, interviews, gig-playing, packing up of instruments, unpacking of instruments, re-stringing of guitars, tuning of guitars, airport check-ins, etc.  He probably does about 20 gigs a month and in between travelling time, he only gets to spend about four or five days a month at home.  Normally not more than 24 hours in a row either.  And when he’s at home, he simply crashes and sleeps.  The poor guy is shattered and exhausted.

So apart from the travelling, the hectic schedule and not being at home, what are the pitfalls?  From an outside view, even though I suppose I have the inside edge, there are five main ones.  Firstly, absolutely everyone is your best friend, and your ‘biggest fan’, and can they please have the honour of buying you a drink and chatting to you.  Secondly, just about every single girl you meet, is your ‘biggest fan’ and has major groupie aspirations and can you please buy a drink for her.  Thirdly, you are always expected to be the life and soul of a party.  To stay on after the gigs, chatting and drinking and making nice to your fans.  Fourthly, it is very difficult to sustain a relationship.  You are away from home so often and girls literally throw themselves at you.  Any relationship you enter into has to be 100% based on trust and you simply have to resist temptation.  Fifthly, finally, and most dangerous of all – the alcohol is always flowing and drugs are rife.  So much so that people buy them for you – alcohol and drugs. 

And for years and years, my brother fell into every single trap and pitfall.  He literally was the life and soul of every party.  Normally the last one to leave.  At the end of an evening, his bar tab would be higher than the money he earned at a gig.  Alcohol became a huge problem.  It affected his career and every single relationship in his life.  He was not going ahead.  He was stagnating as an artist and a person.  He was letting people down, not always intentionally.  He’d forget what the arrangements were.  He was always late.  He lost more cellphones and camera’s than anyone can ever imagine.  For every flight he made, he probably missed at least two.  He spent a fortune in rebooking tickets.  He appeared on stage drunk.  He amassed a reputation for unreliability.  He missed sound checks.  He became known as “Mr Jagermeister” – not an honourable title.  He was messing up and messing up big.  He stopped creating magic.

And eventually, he crossed a line.  And being the loving, caring and concerned family that we are – we had a family intervention.  He had his back against a wall.  And just like that, I got my brother back again.  He stopped drinking - immediately.  Just like that.  From one day to the next.  And he has not looked back.  He has been sober now for 16 months.  Not a single drop of alcohol.  And funnily enough, once the drinking stopped, a whole bunch of other stuff fell into place as well.  He has done some of his most creative work ever.  His career is flourishing.  He takes immense pride now in being on time and being where he says he’s going to be.  He’s never late.  He’s trustworthy.  He’s honest.  He’s sincere.  He’s kind.  He’s genuine.  He’s grounded.  He’s humble.  He has pride in himself.  He has standards that he has set for himself and he keeps to them.  He is so much fun to be around.  He’s able to have meaningful conversations, that he’ll remember the next day.  He makes sense.  He’s logical.  He’s regained credibility in the music industry.  He’s learnt to say “no” to groupies.  When people offer to buy him drinks, he accepts kindly and asks them if they can get him a cup of coffee, a coke (that would be the soft drink) or a mineral water.  He’s honest about being sober.  He doesn’t mind others drinking and isn’t judgemental of anyone else that drinks.  It clearly just doesn’t work for him.  He’ll gladly tell his audience on stage, that now instead of needing alcohol to have fun, he has himself and life.  Lastly, he is an amazing and dedicated father to his two beautiful little girls. 

And if I was any prouder of him, I’d POP!  Big up Albert, U DA BOMB!!! 

Check out the link to one of Albert's music videos on youtube.  It's a song called "Devils and Gods" and it's friggin awesome!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wiVE_oJaa6w&feature=player_detailpage