If his man vegetables weren't attached, he'd lose those as well
14 April 2024
I am the proud “owner” of one kid
who loses stuff. And a lot of it.
He doesn’t mean to do it. In fact
he never does. However, he has alarmingly high “success” rate in doing just
that.
Maybe it’s a skill? If it was a
competitive sport, he’d be a gold medal winner. A leader in his field of
expertise. A master of his craft.
What makes it such a wonderful “gift”
is the unashamed reality, that’s it’s always unintentional. Pure happenstance
if you like. An unexpected “surprise”. Every. Single. Time.
He has specialised in his field.
Mainly focusing on items of a technological variety. And within that broad category
he has done an extensive foray into cell phones in particular.
To date, he has “lost” eight of
them. Yes, indeed eight. And I can list every single one. Can’t remember the
exact order as I get a bit muddled up. But is sequence all that important?
Lost Phone 1 – Left behind in a
bush after a long weekend away with a friend, to a destination about five hours
away. Well, you see, they were all packed up and ready to go. The car was
packed and the parents did a quick run-through of the house to ensure that
nothing was left behind. So while the adults were doing dreary adult stuff,
Cole and his friend played a game of soccer in the garden. Not wanting to
damage his phone, or risk it falling out of his pocket, he put it in a bush in the
garden, while they played. The parents once more emerged, rustled all of the
kids into the car and off they set on the trip home. Sance Cole’s phone. We were
lucky to get it back about a week later, as the friends knew of someone who was
driving down from Knysna and who had said that they wouldn’t mind investigating
the bush to see if they could find it and bring it along with them. Only took an
hour and a half drive there and back for My Grantie to fetch it in Cape Town.
Deep remorse, but the phone was safe. And it was retrieved. So all good. In fact we were hugely relieved.
Lost Phone 2 – Slept over at the same friend’s house. They were playing basketball in the driveway the following
morning. The family was once again heading off on a holiday for a few days. Cole came
home after the sleepover, only to realise that he’d left the phone outside in the
driveway. Had to wait about 5 days until they were back again. Luckily they
live on a kind of a small holding, have fencing and an electronic gate and
brave dogs that guard the home in their absence. Deep remorse once again. But
somehow the phone was not eaten by the dogs or trampled by their horse. So all good. It was a win. And we had hoped that the "punishment" of a few enforced days without his phone might encourage him to be more cautious in the future. What were we thinking?
Lost Phone 3 – Went to a party at
the local cricket club for a friend’s birthday. The following morning at 6h00,
we were both scouring the outside of the cricket club as well as the very large
cricket fields and surrounds. Deep remorse. Have I said this before? Phone gone.
Not all good.
Lost Phone 4 – Left behind in an Uber.
Luckily had the Uber driver’s number. We both phoned him and sent him multiple
messages and spoke to him. The phone was not in the car. It’s a mystery to this
day. Phone gone. Deep remorse once more. Definitely not even maybe good at all.
Lost Phone 5 – Mugging outside a
social bar when he was out one night. A couple of guys simply walked up to him, grabbed
his phone and ran. He gave chase, but it was not good. Deep remorse, yada-yada-yada.
Phone gone. Sigh.
Lost Phone 6 – Went jolling in
Cape Town. Once again, mugged between clubs. Remorse, etc. Phone gone. Not
again!
Lost Phone 7 - Went to a fabulous New Year’s Eve party. At
midnight the DJ urged everyone to take their phones out, put their torches on
and wave it in the air. They bloody saw him coming. Phone snatched by an
opportunist. Definitely remorse. Phone gone. Are we in a twilight zone?
Lost Phone 8 – Went with a friend
to the beach. Had an awesome time. Asked some random strangers to keep an eye
on their belongings when they went to swim. Need I say more? Remorse and anger
from him about this one. He was livid. Phone gone. Yet again.
We’ve usually had an old phone
lying around when he’s lost a phone. Nothing new. In fact, for obvious reasons,
he hasn’t had a handset upgrade for a few years. It just seems a bit pointless. We’ve actually stopped doing handset upgrades for all of us. We rather just
increase our data packages. So our stash of old phones have shrunk quite
dramatically. Can’t imagine why…
And about two or three lost
phones ago, we told him, that we really didn’t have anything much to offer him apart from a shrinking selection of old, outdated and screen-cracked hand-me-downs. He would have to buy
his own handset. Now what really took us by surprise, was how scandalized and
incensed he was by that. In fact, I am blessed with perfect recall of exactly
what he said, “I can’t believe parents would expect their own child to buy
their own phone”. Can you even hear yourself? On this occasion it suited him to
be a child. Even though he was over eighteen. It tickled us pink. As is, he
always has to pay for the reconnection fee himself and buy his own cell phone
cover.
Losing 8 phones. It’s a skill. Don’t you agree?
However, he has not merely limited
himself to technology. Clothes and shoes often suffer a similar fate. Bags and swimming towels too.
School clothes were fair game. And as for camping gear and cooler boxes? Don’t
even get My Grantie started. I learnt early on, while he was still in primary
school, that it was essential and of critical importance that I never sent
anything away with him on a camp that I wouldn’t mind never seeing again. That
way, anything that ever came back from a camping trip or school sport’s tour
was a wonderful bonus and surprise. Oh yay! Just look at this! We got the
inflatable mattress back again. How lucky are we?
Then there was that one time,
when he went on a sport’s tour to Oudtshoorn when he was still in Primary
School. It was an annual and much anticipated event. Being chosen for one of
the teams going on tour was an honour and everyone always looked forward to it.
I can’t quite recall, but I think it was usually three or four nights away from
home. And I remember My Grantie and I heading up to the school on the day that
they were coming back from the tour. The road outside the school was crowded
with touring buses as well as parents and kids with huge big smiles on their faces. So
many stories to tell about their awesome matches and the fun they had on tour.
Our kid saw us and he was beaming
from ear to ear and practically leapt from the bus. Bubbling over with
excitement! Voice hoarse from screaming along the sport’s field, supporting his
friends. Diving into a million stories before he was even off the bus. We walked
around to the luggage compartment of the bus and got all of his goodies. Couldn’t
help but notice that his hockey sport’s kit was conspicuously absent. We kept
on hanging around until the very last bag had been unpacked. Still no hockey
bag. It. Was. Gone.
Pray tell, why? Well, that’s
because he didn’t remember to put it in with the rest of his luggage before he
got onto the bus. In actual fact, he couldn’t quite recall seeing it again
after his last match. Nope he didn’t take it back with him to their
accommodation the previous day either. He thinks it was possibly lying somewhere
next to the hockey field somewhere. At another school. About four and a half
hours away. To give him some credit, he was surprised that he’d forgotten it and
was deeply sorry.
To be fair, My Grantie was far
more shocked than he should’ve been. We had been exposed to occurrences of this
nature for a very long time already by that stage. I was accepting of the fate.
We were bound to suffer some collateral damage.
My Grantie claimed loudly, that our
boy’s promising hockey career was over. Hockey shoes are extremely expensive.
As is a decent hockey stick. Not to mention the shin pads, sporting socks,
sporting clothes and all of the other paraphernalia.
Alas, fear not. One of the coaches
of the girls’ team had seen the clearly marked sport’s bag next to the field,
saw the name of the kid on the bag and made the logical choice. Cause she also
knew this kid. So she took the bag back with her to the overnight accommodation
and popped it in the girls’ bus the following morning.
I have no words. Only my kid
would be able to lose 8 phones, multiple items of clothing, camping gear,
swimming towels and forget to bring his hockey bag containing all of his kit
back from a sport’s tour.
Now that takes a remarkable
amount of skill. I told you he was a master of his craft. A genius in fact!
I have no doubt that the future
will be filled with similar “mishaps” of this nature. It’s par for the course.
Everyone has different skills, strengths and weaknesses.
Anyway, in other news, he’s due
for a cell phone upgrade of his latest contract soon. He's already been eagerly scouring to see what awesome-new-phone would be available to him. And I shudder at the
thought. Wish me luck!
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